Kayla G.M.
banner
canpanicnow.bsky.social
Kayla G.M.
@canpanicnow.bsky.social
Appellate attorney just trying to write, read, research, and drink more water.

"I'll be your Huckleberry." ~ Doc Holliday
*stepping four feet back from the curb as a cement truck turns, whispering* "I'm not neurotic, there was just a very graphic tort hypo in law school that haunts me still."
October 24, 2025 at 3:50 AM
My ghost will haunt the courthouse halls crooning, "Preserve the error. Object. Exhaust. Preserve the error, you fools."
October 13, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Unfortunately, I do have to fck around to find out. It's my process.
October 11, 2025 at 3:18 AM
The best and scariest part about a virtual work is that you can't just go down the hall to ask people questions.
October 7, 2025 at 1:41 AM
DOJ lawyers texting Grok like: "Is a judge saying 'you are an officer of the court' repeatedly a good thing?"
October 6, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Me, with the rage of 10,000 screaming toddlers, typing: "Friendly reminder."
October 3, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Who needs Disney Plus when you have a million free CLE's on YouTube. The avengers had a better chance of beating Thanos than winning a post conviction appeal.
October 1, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Civ Pro should teach how important the Notice of Appeal is. Please.
September 27, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Me, a millennial, bonding with a Gen X'er like, "The micro-plastics in me recognizes the lead in you."
September 26, 2025 at 11:21 PM
"Should that say 'Federal Law protects the right to free speech?'"

Me, an angry appellate lawyer, fourth cup of coffee in two hours, bloodshot eyes, with all 78 open Westlaw tabs begging me for mercy: "No. Feral Law is right."
September 21, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Locked in so hard I started enjoying bluebooking (actually I've gone insane)
September 9, 2025 at 2:23 AM
On this day, in 1967, Thurgood Marshall was appointed to the US Supreme Court. This day is a great day for big historical events.
August 30, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Reposted by Kayla G.M.
Congratulations to Justice Powell! #LadyLawyerDiaries
August 27, 2025 at 5:26 PM
My favorite thing about legal research is that with one hour of research, you can have a clear answer. But with twenty? Oh, now you have a circuit split from a little piece of the question that isn't the whole question, but the whole question turns on this unaddressed piece of the question.
August 22, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Back in my day, writers didn't plagiarize AI. They stole their wives' works and sold them as their own.
August 11, 2025 at 6:46 PM
AI is forcing me into needing in-person meetings. We've gone full circle. So advanced, we can only trust face-to-face communication. I hate it.
August 10, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Due dates? Sounds like a conspiracy by Big Calendar.
August 7, 2025 at 4:18 PM
An appellate lawyer about to roast the opposing counsel: "My friend on the other side, however . . ."
August 6, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Dear trial attorneys, please narrate what the jury is seeing. Like say "the State is using her hand as a gun to point at the jury." Like that's way better than your client telling me that and then it being *nowhere* in the record. I mean, I can get an affidavit . . . But c'mon.
August 5, 2025 at 1:53 PM
I want AI to format my TOC and Appendices in compliance with all of circuit courts' weird local rules. NOT do the fun legal research and analysis parts for me.
August 3, 2025 at 8:33 PM
''let me must polish up this final draft," pours shoe polish over this trash draft to shun the sins of my own clumsy writing from the daylight.
August 1, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Most Lawyers: "Actually, midnight is the perfect filing time."
July 30, 2025 at 8:57 PM
"Yeah. I rule," whispered the judge quietly to herself, banging the gavel.
July 30, 2025 at 4:35 PM
The devil whispered "I'm coming to get you." And I, a lawyer, said "so, you're personally availing yourself to this jurisdiction?"
July 21, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Me, a lawyer meeting a potential client: "Statistically, every single person who filed a lawsuit in 1901 has died. Therefore, filing a lawsuit causes death. Are you sure you want to proceed?"
July 15, 2025 at 2:41 AM