10. My therapist calls it “taking the mask of my dad off of things”
Quick ways to start seeing goodness/love first:
1. WWJD
2.WWTD (what would my therapist do)
3. Refer to things the person(not your dad) has done well in the past- keep a list if you can

9. Tough realization but ya knowwww here we are! The other thing that goes along with this is how I view things.
Because having an emotionally unavailable parent makes warps your brain, I now needed to focus on how to see things more lovingly than skeptical!

8. I asked Claude AI to help create the scale & it turns out… I was more triggered than I thought and most things I was having a hard time with had nothing to do with the dating experience. 🙃

Here’s the scale: docs.google.com/document/u/1...

7. The first therapy session of the year, we talked about how to kick the sensation of everything being a big deal with dating.
My therapist suggested creating a scale/tiered system of interactions/connections so I can get a clearer view on what I value in a relationship vs.what’s triggering trauma

6. My therapist suggested quarterly goals so I outlined my 2 goals based on the 12 week strategy.

Made a goal, pinpointed 3 ways I can measure my success.

I do this very easily in my career, ngl it was a stretch to do this for my personal life. 🙃

5. At the top of the year (2025), I pinpointed some areas I recognized work with anxious attachment that I need to break like:
- running to my groupchat every time I feel an ounce of discomfort
- taking things personally
- making every dating interaction I have a big deal
-withholding vulnerability

4. At the end of last year, I told my therapist I’m ready to focus on it. She basically back “It’s about time” & we pinpointed spaces where the fear got the best of me so we could realize how much this’ll help me not fumble so much when the blessings come.

3. No matter the person, I was still feeling the same & unable to trust myself/gut leading to less than savory behavior. 🫢

At the same time experiencing grief, it was a whirlwind of a year. I leaned heavily on friends for advice & was not acting like I pay hundreds of dollars a month for therapy

2. Decided to focus heavily on healing my anxious attachment in 2025 because I noticed how much I could’ve avoided had I not blown up at people, if I could trust more & not always assume the worst.

1. I took an attachment test about 2 years ago (2023) & realized I was anxiously attached. In therapy, we focused on the issues from my relationship with my dad first to get to the root.

Tried to develop a more consistent relationship with him & it was a fail.

Went no contact the top of 2024

Literally like sir you’re convincing no one lol