I even still have a radio

I downloaded an entire TV series for $free using only an antenna and a VCR

Our Department has been active in drafting new attacks for Newsom. Next time Texas has a disaster, we'll tweet out a pic of GCN sipping margaritas in Cancun with the caption, "Can't wait to meet up Ted Cruz as he avoids Texas's problems!"

Hi everyone it's me Sir Richard Branson on my alt account (proof:)

Our Cult and Conspiracy Agency is currently accepting applications for grants. Protip: anything that makes SecBull a deity or conspiratorial mastermind will have the greatest chances of approval (also accepting unapologetic bribery).

We're much richer than both of you and we still lack influence. Hopefully the Cult Agency implements some brainwashing. Figure we'd fare better with a few die-hards than a sea of lukewarm consumers.

My grandma caught the woke mind virus as a kid. Got so woke that she literally can't die.

So glad life is fatal for our generation.