Chuck Schumer, inventor of the fold straddle.

I would never have guessed that, in the coming revolution, Bill Kristol and Joe Walsh will be fighting alongside DRAG Team 6 (Demolitions Recon Assault Glamour) and the 101st Polycule.

He will be in the Billdozer with "I was always willing to be reasonable until I had to be unreasonable" spraypainted on it.

Beyond the sheer appallingness of having the tattoo in the first place, the not getting in front of it shows he's not right for the gig. If the most obvious thing he should have proactively addressed was literally left out for everyone to see, what else will bubble up later?

IF THE EARTH IS ROUND HOW DOES MY WATER NOT SLIDE OFF THE TABLE?

My favorite "fact" about him is he lists being a former stand-up in his bio. I imagine his tight 10 was about how quiche makes you gay, why there isn't a white history month, and how he'd gas liberals with his farts.

The Battlezone comp is so perfect.