Everything that’s happened over the past six months has been a response to an imaginary crisis. There is no immigrant invasion. No trade crisis. No scientific or governance crisis. Just people completely high off their own supply trying to fundamentally reorder society. None of this had to happen.

Main character energy is OUT, this summer we’re bringing NPC energy. We’re posted up at the bar dropping lore and suggesting side quests. We’re leaning casually near a locked door and saying “I don’t think you have the key for that” when someone tries the handle. We’re staring at a tree.

personally would like to see every store show what part of the price increase is due to tariffs bc if these tariffs ever come down, i need to see that price go right back down

the american electoral system is basically 500,000 information-resistant people across a handful of states taking a guess and then going "haha! oops!" every two years. this process takes 18 months and costs four trillion dollars every time

Every political opinion can be boiled down to how much that person values a human life, and who that same person considers to be human.

“Media Literacy” should be a required class in high school

Bae caught me crying in the craft aisle

Are we approaching post-nationalism yet

ugh the end of the world is taking literally forever

will no one rid us of this meddlesome musk?

Whoever has the deathnote needs to get to work

people will speak about a game they played as a kid with the same reverence that they might a great song or novel, about how it engrossed them totally and completely. They may even tear up talking about it. and then you ask what game it was and it was Spongebob battle for bikini bottom

Bae caught me disassociating in the lamp aisle.

Just hit me why AOC is so good and brilliant at being the adult in the room with all the trashy losers making terrible choices around her. She used to be a bartender.

I forgot about Grindr crashing due to user volume during the RNC last year lmao

santa claus is a maiar

dim sum forever

honestly shocked more health insurance executives haven't been shot in america

We are all always closer to being homeless, than being a billionaire.