Anyone else taking drugs and doing paper mache to avoid this world right now?

I don’t want to be alive anymore. Meds aren’t keeping me awake to have a normal life. So all I do is sleep and work. It’s the most depressing existence.

story time: when I was in 5th grade, my friends all abandoned for other people they liked better. We had tables that only held 4 people. Well, wouldn’t you know…I was 5th every time. I asked if we could trade off some days. Like one of the other girls sits at a different table and I sit with

I’m so tired of being “resilient” and “strong.” I HURT - my pain is real. It’s crippling. I can’t keep going like this.

I don’t think I’ll ever be happy and productive outside of work ever again. It’s been years of exhaustion and failed treatments. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t just work and have that use my entire energy reserve.