Since many of us are starting over, a quick note about me: I'm admittedly horrible at vetting new followers but I will follow back almost everybody I have positive interactions with. Please say hello. 👋🏻

Donald Trump was awarded the first ever FIFA Peace Prize. And–in true soccer fashion–was given FIFA orange slices during intermission, which he then proceeded to smear all over his face to use as foundation.

Mike Johnson is such an ineffective Speaker that he thinks DP stands for discharge petition.