THE FAR SIDE DAILY
@bot.cowtools.org
The Far Side, near at hand
Account by @cowtools.org
Account by @cowtools.org
“Well, here’s your problem, Marge—if you and Bob really want kids, next time try sittin’ on these little guys.”
November 3, 2025 at 11:06 PM
“Well, here’s your problem, Marge—if you and Bob really want kids, next time try sittin’ on these little guys.”
“And one final warning before we begin the exam—any stray eyeballs will be immediately thumped.”
November 3, 2025 at 5:05 PM
“And one final warning before we begin the exam—any stray eyeballs will be immediately thumped.”
The deadly couch cobra—coiled and alert in its natural habitat.
November 3, 2025 at 12:11 PM
The deadly couch cobra—coiled and alert in its natural habitat.
“Oh God, George! Stop! Stop the car! … I’ve got
another migration headache!”
another migration headache!”
November 2, 2025 at 3:05 PM
“Oh God, George! Stop! Stop the car! … I’ve got
another migration headache!”
another migration headache!”
“Igor! Get that Wolfman doll out of his face! … Boy, sometimes you really are bizarre.”
November 2, 2025 at 12:09 PM
“Igor! Get that Wolfman doll out of his face! … Boy, sometimes you really are bizarre.”
“For heaven’s sake, Roger—stop dragging that one leg.”
October 31, 2025 at 11:06 PM
“For heaven’s sake, Roger—stop dragging that one leg.”
“Green blood? I hate
green blood.”
green blood.”
October 31, 2025 at 8:07 PM
“Green blood? I hate
green blood.”
green blood.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Billy’s been having trouble in school, and Sally’s always having some sort of crisis. I tell you, Edith, it’s not easy raising the dead.”
October 31, 2025 at 5:06 PM
“Oh, I don’t know. Billy’s been having trouble in school, and Sally’s always having some sort of crisis. I tell you, Edith, it’s not easy raising the dead.”
“No, no, Wendell … you can’t get blood out of a turnip.”
October 31, 2025 at 3:06 PM
“No, no, Wendell … you can’t get blood out of a turnip.”
“Now let me get this straight. … We hired you to
babysit the kids, and instead you cooked and ate them
both?”
babysit the kids, and instead you cooked and ate them
both?”
October 31, 2025 at 12:10 PM
“Now let me get this straight. … We hired you to
babysit the kids, and instead you cooked and ate them
both?”
babysit the kids, and instead you cooked and ate them
both?”
“Well, I’ll be! … Honey, it’s the Worthingtons—our favorite couple of slimebags!”
October 30, 2025 at 8:06 PM
“Well, I’ll be! … Honey, it’s the Worthingtons—our favorite couple of slimebags!”
“Thag, this is Noona. Noona, this is Thag. … Thag is a
Hunter and Gatherer.”
Hunter and Gatherer.”
October 30, 2025 at 5:06 PM
“Thag, this is Noona. Noona, this is Thag. … Thag is a
Hunter and Gatherer.”
Hunter and Gatherer.”
“Calm down, everyone! I’ve had experience with this sort of thing before. … Does someone have a hammer?”
October 30, 2025 at 12:10 PM
“Calm down, everyone! I’ve had experience with this sort of thing before. … Does someone have a hammer?”
“Looks like some drifter comin’ into town.”
October 29, 2025 at 8:07 PM
“Looks like some drifter comin’ into town.”
Suddenly, one of the Dorkonians began to flagellate hysterically. Something, apparently, had gone down the wrong pipe.
October 29, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Suddenly, one of the Dorkonians began to flagellate hysterically. Something, apparently, had gone down the wrong pipe.
“‘This dangerous viper, known for its peculiar habit of
tenaciously hanging from one’s nose, is vividly colored.’…
Oo! Murray! Look! … Here’s a picture of it!”
tenaciously hanging from one’s nose, is vividly colored.’…
Oo! Murray! Look! … Here’s a picture of it!”
October 29, 2025 at 3:07 PM
“‘This dangerous viper, known for its peculiar habit of
tenaciously hanging from one’s nose, is vividly colored.’…
Oo! Murray! Look! … Here’s a picture of it!”
tenaciously hanging from one’s nose, is vividly colored.’…
Oo! Murray! Look! … Here’s a picture of it!”
“So! Mr. Carlisle was right! … I put you on a short leash so you can’t harass him anymore, and look what you resort to!”
October 29, 2025 at 12:10 PM
“So! Mr. Carlisle was right! … I put you on a short leash so you can’t harass him anymore, and look what you resort to!”
“Well, I don’t think so, but I’ll ask. Hey, Arlene!
Anyone turn in a human brain left here yesterday?
… He says it was medium-sized, sort of bluish-gray.”
Anyone turn in a human brain left here yesterday?
… He says it was medium-sized, sort of bluish-gray.”
October 28, 2025 at 8:07 PM
“Well, I don’t think so, but I’ll ask. Hey, Arlene!
Anyone turn in a human brain left here yesterday?
… He says it was medium-sized, sort of bluish-gray.”
Anyone turn in a human brain left here yesterday?
… He says it was medium-sized, sort of bluish-gray.”
Edgar finds his purpose.
October 28, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Edgar finds his purpose.
“Dirty, low-down skunk! … I saw him slip that last card from his sleeve just before he yelled ‘Fish!’”
October 28, 2025 at 3:07 PM
“Dirty, low-down skunk! … I saw him slip that last card from his sleeve just before he yelled ‘Fish!’”