get in, bitch we're doing progressive muscle relaxation

of course, i am not free of the mechanics issues. the big thing i've learned is to keep the game moving. a lot of matches end up being unfun because of differences in play speed imo. i've gotten positive feedback on my play style and deck construction, but there are times when it doesn't feel neat

it's so easy to fall into the trap of doing that with cascade. i won't say i'm free of that sin, but i build mine as go-over-the-top value engines meant to be played as fast as possible. my opponents die in combat, not to combos

that's the only valid response. one of my cascade decks ran so hot one night someone went to a nearby bar for a couple shots between rounds

the same thing i always do. cascade. cascade. cascade

The Sufferer & The Witness - Rise Against

i didn't listen to this band for a long time, but picked it up again recently. so. many. memories. this album was part of my playlists from the moment it came out

The Good Left Undone, Injection, The Approaching Curve. it's held up well

Negative Spaces - Poppy

probably my favorite album of the year. holy fucking shit it's infected all of my playlists. this is one of maybe two albums where i have every song liked or on a list

the cost of giving up is the best song on the album, but there is no wrong way to eat this reese's

My Masochistic Mind - Siiickbrain

Siiickbrain is basically my brain worms. bonus shoutout to Ashtray for Your Agony EP. reminds me of late night walks in the cold

favs off this one are I am a Machine, Psychopath, and Parasite

Heartwork - The Used

this album is nearly perfect and a majority of it appears on my yearly everything playlist. this album got me back into listening to The Used and helped me remember they're my favorite artist

Heartwork, Paradise Lost, Gravity's Rainbow, and Darkness Bleeds are my favs

New feedback is an opportunity to be less harmful, to be more inclusive, to get closer to that ultimate goal.

It's a gift, really.

i hesitate to say i'm fully okay these days, especially after the last few weeks

i can see the way forward though, and it's nothing that came before

i just need this world to stop going to shit for long enough for me to build enough resilience to survive anything

there was a long time where i only had one dream at night

the setting and characters were almost always different, but there was a theme

i was looking for something. something important. something i lost. something i needed

and i was being hunted

in the end it was my way home i was searching for

i like the idea that no one is irredeemable. circumstances may not always allow people to change, but they can and do when the environment is right for it.

if people suddenly get what feels like a whole life dumped on them that is radically different from their previous understanding of themself or events, it will trigger change.

i know this because it happened to me. it's how i survived this far.

*laughs in spatial-sequence synesthesia*

this bitch is object-oriented and plural

i dated someone with aphantasia and no monologue for a while. it was surreal watching how they get through a day or solved problems

meanwhile i imagine an orchard instead of an apple. it's easier for me