So I beg thee for either a perfect miracle just for me, for once in my life, or to end my tortured misery

I just want the pain to end. Not just one failure, but every failure from before piled together to give birth to this disgusting wretched feeling

Cars need fuel, animals need food, humans need a deep seated desire granted every now and then.

Or to grant me eternal rest. It's fine, my insurance payout will cover my loved ones for a couple decades

And frankly I just want 1 of 2 miracles:
1. End my suffering peacefully
2. Let me redo November 2024, without regrets

I am not happy being the cosmic plaything born to suffer throughout 31 years of my life. I am not happy with how any of this played out let alone all my grievances with my fucking life.

You were already seeing someone else. Between the months you avoided me. We are just friends... but even then? That avoidance sucked. It hurt so bad, even with all the space I gave you.