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But how can I focus on mine when literally the only factor to making conversations work is god damn communication with others.

....

This is miserable. And I hate it.
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I feel like no matter what I do and try over and over and over, it's no use.

I'll never have what others do. Maybe because it's them. And I'm me

Maybe I shouldn't be focusing on other people's work and focus on mine?

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Does everyone just like the ugly parts of me?

The boring and uninteresting parts?

.... I don't want to write.
It's a waste of energy and time.

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Then there ARE people who are interacting and I'm being selective as usual— no wonder the possibilities feel so vague..

It's another situation of feeling like when I try, no one really pays attention.. but when I'm being myself without even trying, I'm suddenly gazed upon.

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IT DOES WORK, HOLY SMOKES
It's 6 AM, I didn't sleep.

This is really bad. Haha..
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I've been searching for a perfect villain to be honest.

And roleplaying everything by myself sounds lonely as heck sometimes.

It's difficult to communicate my exact thoughts without sounding like a stuck up wannabe with a win complex.
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But also— she's never taken anything nor anyone too seriously to even consider putting up 'The' form.

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