Some former True Blood writer is gonna read that first sentence and be furious at not thinking of it first

My sentiments exactly. Telling my body “like I know we got decent sleep but would it kill you to be greedy ONCE?!”

Lmao literally waiting on this thunderstorm storm to pass before sparking on the patio 😂😂

Me as a kid: bout to wake up and play vidya games

As an adult: bout to get up, smoke a blunt and play vidya games.

Fam I was mad af at 4:30am till I checked my watch and realized I fell asleep at 8:30p. Still a lil mad tho 😔

Fam 🤣😆 like come on, Joe Jackson has threatened children for less.

Atp for me I’m afraid it’s terminal.

Man I expected him to fall trying to do something spiffy, not that life alert-ass fall from a mundane turn. 🙃🙃

That’s been my secret to weathering all of the economic uncertainty lately. I just don’t buy shit from companies actively participating in the enshittification of the consumer experience. That list of companies is getting longer and longer tho….

Lmao I’m ngl, fuck water boarding or jumper cables, if you want me to spill my guts strap me to a chair and chew next to my ear. My misophonia wouldn’t make it 30 secs🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️

Clove, sage and cilantro. Three ingredients I detect at levels that make drug dogs envious.