Anyway recently she told me she’s selling all her HP stuff bc she wants her trans friends (I’m one of them) to feel safe more than she wants to have that in her house, and I’m so proud of her for coming to this conclusion.

They didn’t die from HIV, y’all. We’re too young. They died of addiction. Or from depression. Or violence. This is an epidemic. Marginalized people die because we don’t know the trouble they’re in.

WHAT drop whatever you’re doing and go watch it immediately

Anyway, I did not realize how un-religious I had raised my child until they saw this, arguably one of the most well-known stories in Abrahamic religions, for the first time at 13 years old. My ancestors are slapping my wrist but… I think it’s fine. Age appropriate. Too old for indoctrination.

It’s a story of faith and hope and revolution and hard-won freedom. But there are some fucked up elements too. I knew the details of this story by the time I was a toddler. That’s got to do something irreversible to the brain, right?

Anyway. A few minutes in, Noli asked, “hold up- this is a Bible story?!?” I explained that while some artistic licenses were taken, yes, the key incidents of this story are absolutely in the Bible. Slaves, psychedelic visions, plagues, lots of dead kids (not once, but twice!)… yep, all in the Bible.

By the way… The music goes so hard, and the cast is actually killer: Steve Martin, Ralph Fiennes, Danny Glover, Helen Mirren, Martin Short, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick Stewart, Sandra Bullock, Michelle Pfeiffer… to name a few. It holds up unbelievably well.

Noli is sick this week and yesterday we sat down and watched Prince of Egypt, a staple in my Christian childhood household.

It also means I am always disappointing people. I am always feeling the need to check and make sure that everyone is okay in the wake of my chaos and ambition. It’s exhausting. But what isn’t exhausting, these days.

So when I make a big decision, a big change, even if it’s just for myself, I end up affecting the lives of so many people. And I truly feel the weight of that.

Really though. I wouldn’t be with my partner, be married, own a home, have renovated that home, my kid would not have a diagnosis, my friend group would not know one another… I push and I push for things to happen.

This isn’t a brag, it’s a conundrum of my own making.