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bigass.bsky.social
ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx
@bigass.bsky.social
5.6K followers 1.6K following 120 posts
reply guying my way to heaven

twitch.tv/xxxcrazymikexxx
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bigass.bsky.social
Built fish tinder so I could moderate fish really fast
July 26, 2025 at 9:20 PM
bigass.bsky.social
July 26, 2025 at 3:40 AM
bigass.bsky.social
Waterpark
Going on a big slide is very scary especially when the slide has a trap door at the top and so as I climbed the many stairs to reach the top of the 140 foot drop my heart began to pump and my anxiety spiked which was not good because I was already so anxious about everything because my friend had died and a guy I knew shot a CEO and a girl I loved wanted to fuck someone else and I felt the fragility of life very intensely and when I got to the top of the slide I felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest and when I stood on the trap door I felt like I wanted to claw my way out of the glass contraption until it gave out from under me and the fast water and adrenaline washed away all my worries and I was at the bottom of the slide feeling fine.
December 16, 2024 at 3:24 PM
bigass.bsky.social
Cupcakes
I went to a White Elephant party where the host was a very nice woman who overprepared and had too much food so she insisted I take some with me so I took a plate of homemade cupcakes and went to the next birthday with the intention of saying I made the cupcakes myself. On the way to the birthday party I took the train and began to regret the whole endeavor because the lady who gave me the cupcakes neglected to give me nothing but a paper plate and I felt worry as the cupcakes were exposed to the air of new york and the subway. On the way up the subway steps I tripped. I kept my left hand in the air as each individual stair jutted into various parts of my body - thighs knees shins chest etc. The cupcakes stayed on the plate and managed to be transferred safely from my hand to the floor and nobody stepped on them and they remained as undamaged as cupcakes exposed to the underground could be. A stranger helped me up and another offered their bag to hold the cupcakes. It was a kind suggestion but I was only 3 minutes away at this point and the cupcakes had already been through the worst so I declined. As I walked up the stairs two drunk women behind me congratulated me and told me that I had a crazy story to tell at the party I was going to and I was confused because I don’t think a story about almost dropping cupcakes could really be that interesting.
December 15, 2024 at 5:28 PM
bigass.bsky.social
Nice Jacket
I was on the subway riding back from my work holiday party wearing a midnight blue blazer and pants with a black turtleneck. I was looking snazzy which I know because a pretty girl at the work party pulled me aside and said she liked my mullet. I had gotten it cut 1 week prior by a man named AJ and I guess he did a good job. She told me her name and I remembered but now I forget. I wanted to ask her to fall in love with me but I didn’t want to get fired so I left. On the subway back I saw a pretty girl with dark clothes and complexion. Her boots were thick and her neck had a lot of chains and jewelry on it and so did her pants. I looked at her because I thought she was pretty and then she made eye contact and smiled and I looked down. I was preparing to talk to her but was only a few stops away before I had the courage to open my mouth. There was a guy in front of me and he had a nice jacket with painted stars and faces and words and also painted nails. I said “nice jacket” and he said thank you and I asked him where he got it and if he painted the jacket himself and he said he did in high school. I understood this to be a while away as the jacket was old but I realized that I did not know this man's age and high school could have been yesterday. We struck up a conversation about what he did and what I did and I felt the overwhelming urge to tell him about my friend who died yesterday and how I’ve been at the verge of tears this whole time and I missed him dearly and of all the things I should have said but the train hit Morgan which was my stop right after I told him I was a software engineer and so I left with all the words and tears stuck in the back of my throat. I considered taking the train in the opposite direction and just riding it back and forth talking to people. I didn’t and went to bed.
December 14, 2024 at 11:13 PM
bigass.bsky.social
Lentil Soup
When I was a kid my dad would make lentil soup every day for me to take to school. I enjoyed the taste of it but my dad was frugal and so the lentil soup was always in a tiny re-used takeout container which was cold and would frequently leak. I hated it when food leaked in my backpack. When I was a kid at the YMCA I had a banana as part of my lunch and it ended up in the bottom of my backpack and it was everywhere and everything I had was covered in banana. The banana was very ripe and mushy and sickly sweet and my papers were ruined and the backpack never recovered. I feared food in my backpack from then on but continued to bring the lentil soup to lunch, wrapped in 10 layers of saran wrap. I am lucky to have had a dad who would pack it for me
December 14, 2024 at 1:35 PM
bigass.bsky.social
Tinder Match
Tinder Match I was walking home at 3 am and opened my phone and started swiping. I wanted to match with someone and I wanted to meet up with them and I wanted for them to come over. Emily matches with me -- it’s a girl who I think is very pretty. I say “what are you doing at 3am” and she said “sleeping” and I say “come over” and she says “no.” “But we can talk for a bit” and so we talk for a bit. I ask her what she does for work. She tells me. I ask her some more questions. She tells me about her family and her childhood and I tell her about mine. I ask her about a stuffed bear she has in one of her photos - she’s had it since she was young. She asks me if I had a stuffed animal. “One.” I say. “His name was Dechko and he was a Rabbit.” “Was?” she asks. “What happened to him?” “I loved him to bits.” “Aww :)” … “I’m heading to sleep now, let’s talk more in the morning.” “Goodnight Alden :)” Next morning she unmatched me.
December 13, 2024 at 4:30 PM
bigass.bsky.social
when the white boy lowkey has drip
me as a kid
December 8, 2024 at 6:26 PM
bigass.bsky.social
why cant gay guys just say "you look nice"
handsome man in the mirror text message: reads "You're looking at the camera like you're gonna drop a load in me"
December 5, 2024 at 11:11 PM
bigass.bsky.social
me (still working on 2023 OKRs) walking to my performance review during layoff season
screenshot of the ceo who got shot a few seconds before it happens
December 5, 2024 at 8:14 PM
bigass.bsky.social
December 4, 2024 at 1:25 PM
bigass.bsky.social
lowkey i was spitting
December 4, 2024 at 1:21 PM
bigass.bsky.social
running for president so it makes it illegal to say that you want to kill me
December 4, 2024 at 2:08 AM
bigass.bsky.social
My DMs are so good now
bot offering to let me join the illuminati
December 2, 2024 at 5:28 PM
bigass.bsky.social
could be an ex machina type situation
December 1, 2024 at 5:35 PM
bigass.bsky.social
Love making friends on this app!
conversation with a bot
December 1, 2024 at 3:44 PM
bigass.bsky.social
created a bot to follow random people on bluesky and now my feed is total garbage
dead dove do not eat
December 1, 2024 at 2:32 PM
bigass.bsky.social
interesting how this guys subconscious kind of deeply understands the classic themes behind zombie movies
November 30, 2024 at 2:46 PM
bigass.bsky.social
not the first person to think of this
November 29, 2024 at 7:54 PM
bigass.bsky.social
had a great thanksgiving yesterday but lots of mac and cheese leftover. any mutuals who live in BK - come get some!
delicious pot of mac and cheese - kraft, raisins
November 29, 2024 at 7:40 PM
bigass.bsky.social
grandmas got the bandsaw
grandma with a bandsaw
November 28, 2024 at 11:03 PM
bigass.bsky.social
#newpfp
man scooping nacho cheese into a trash bag
November 28, 2024 at 6:04 PM
bigass.bsky.social
making a statement #doordash #paxwest
a doordash branded shirt that reads "antiracist"
September 5, 2023 at 12:02 AM
bigass.bsky.social
who else is at #paxwest ? stop by booth 3231 and say hi!!

#gamedev #gaming #indiegames
September 1, 2023 at 9:42 PM
bigass.bsky.social
how does self promotion work on here does anyone want to play my video game #gamedev #gaming #unity do hashtags even work
a picture of a screen of the Dreamhack Summer Indie Showcase where a guy is playing a very bad looking video game to hundreds of viewers
August 31, 2023 at 2:17 AM