Berlock Bones
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berlockbones.bsky.social
Berlock Bones
@berlockbones.bsky.social
A picture is worth a thousand words but only if those words are a literal description of all the minute details of the picture
The soap to water ratio is too high! There’s no coming back from this
November 26, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Of all the animals on earth, birds have the most choices when it comes to pooping. Why then do they go RIGHT on top of the bird feeder?
June 24, 2025 at 12:21 AM
What are fireflies doing? Every other bug is trying its hardest to look like a leaf or a rock but fireflies are just trying to get caught. See for yourself you can just walk up to one and cup it in your hands
June 16, 2025 at 12:46 AM
4 types of bread, 6 meats, 5 veggies, 3 sauces = 24576 possible sandwiches. And every one is written up in different colored chalks.

“I’ll have the #11490”

“Oh good choice that’s my favorite!”
May 31, 2025 at 5:20 AM
go to sleep happy wake up zappy that’s what I always say
April 23, 2025 at 3:17 AM
i’m not just a fig newton of your imagination
April 14, 2025 at 3:36 AM
A Portrait of the Artist as a Banana
February 21, 2025 at 5:53 AM
I’m pretty sure that if I alternate between salty snacks and sweet snacks I can keep eating forever.
January 22, 2025 at 12:11 AM
I live my life by one rule: Never trust a man with a goatee.
January 10, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Todays Fashion Tip: carrying extra items (pen, chapstick, change) in the winter is easy, just put them in your coat pockets. But what about the summer? Just take a page from tobacco chewers and store them in your cheeks and lower lip! Stylish and functional!
January 7, 2025 at 4:43 PM
New slang idea. All slang words should be replaced by the word “cheese”.

That is the cheese!
Cheese it everyone!
He’s going to try his cheese on her, because he’s cheesing on her.
Etc.

I expect this to be implemented in the next few weeks.
January 2, 2025 at 5:09 PM
All sports should be 15 minutes long, I don't want to see tired people doing stuff
December 22, 2024 at 11:23 PM
I wonder if you walked around the park with a referee outfit if you could pick up freelance referee jobs
December 20, 2024 at 4:49 PM
Sci-fi horror tagline:

e equals mc scared
December 16, 2024 at 8:39 PM
I know the rack is a medieval torture device, but there has to be a point where it feels really good before it starts feeling bad
December 11, 2024 at 10:40 PM
Ever since I was a kid I had this fantasy about being able to bend my body into a circle so I could roll around like a wheel
December 7, 2024 at 12:10 AM
Did you know that this country has more people in prison than it has neurosurgeons? Really makes you think…
December 4, 2024 at 12:27 AM
When you ASSUME you make an ASS out of U and ME. When you LEGUME, U get between ME and my LEG
November 29, 2024 at 6:01 AM
In the original draft of captain planet, Mati could give people heart attacks. It was changed after focus groups objected
November 27, 2024 at 11:35 PM
You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends nose, you can pick your OTHER friends nose, but you can’t do it at the same time without some help
November 27, 2024 at 1:38 AM
The Cookie Monster lives under my bed. We get along pretty well.
November 23, 2024 at 2:31 AM
Did you know you can just BUY croutons? This is dangerous
November 22, 2024 at 3:39 PM
You know if you think about it, we're all just old babies.
November 21, 2024 at 2:13 AM