Ben
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benjbrand.bsky.social
Ben
@benjbrand.bsky.social
reluctant morning person • ABQ, NM
my mom got her rx new in 2020 and it was only a few months ago i was able to show her how to turn on the cameras when she’s going into a tight parking spot
December 6, 2025 at 5:32 PM
sure, but that’s offset by them adding a picture of dr bronner to the inside of the label so he can watch you shower
December 3, 2025 at 12:21 PM
wait no
i cannot tell a lie cherry pie
November 19, 2025 at 3:44 PM
well my first instinct is to recreate the jfk assassination in cake… which might not be a popular idea
November 19, 2025 at 3:43 PM
can you put a tattoo bandage over it? i’m pretty sure you can buy sheets at most drugstores, and that shit STAYS ON
November 19, 2025 at 1:03 PM
they saw cadillac putting the torque in newton-meters on their cars and decided they couldn’t let the americans beat them at their own game
November 2, 2025 at 7:59 PM
[citation needed]
November 2, 2025 at 1:21 PM
it is arguably the only way to have fun on the internet anymore
October 31, 2025 at 1:18 AM
3 syllables is probably too much for him to handle
October 23, 2025 at 8:11 PM
my garden is overrun with them!
October 22, 2025 at 5:29 PM
…how have i never thought about trying this?
October 22, 2025 at 1:14 AM
i used to live right next to the buggy bank! i loved looking at the the weird stuff they would have when i was walking my dog
October 20, 2025 at 10:24 AM
i’ve noticed a big uptick in people taking posts at their literal face value. i’m not sure if it’s a reading comprehension issue or just bots, either way it’s annoying af
October 9, 2025 at 11:34 AM
hugs!
October 3, 2025 at 9:11 PM
when i walk my dog in the morning id say at least a third of people are staring at their phone and another third have it glued to the middle of their windshield.

also about half don’t bother slowing down for speed bumps, and no one looks behind them when they’re backing out of their driveway.
October 2, 2025 at 11:35 PM
it’s because none of them know how to flirt to begin with and you can’t hear shit with a hood on anyways

or so i’m told
September 22, 2025 at 7:17 PM
why would you even speak that into existence
September 22, 2025 at 3:26 PM