If we invent enough new fake Peace Prizes, we could keep Trump too busy accepting prizes to destroy the country!

I'm beginning to wonder if Hakeem Jeffries needs a pardon for something!

You just know the guy pranking her used the most ridiculous French accent possible, and she still fell for it.

You would be saying you want a government that's run only by people who were already millionaires, because they're the only ones who can afford to maintain homes in the capital and the real hometowns.

Which Constitution do you represent? It can't possibly be the American one.

Once you're in a robot body, robot food will be a free benefit for X Super-Premium subscribers. World hunger solved!

Sounds like something George Costanza would say. "That's the beauty of it, Jerry. The Supreme Court can't interfere! It's my signature policy!"

Had to take her to a soundproof room so no one would hear the screaming.

Are you sure this isn't the Halloween party? All the women are dressed up as bumper stickers!

Putting up gratuitous signs to help the residents with dementia. Classic retirement home move.

Rob never saw a children's hospital when he was a kid because his parents weren't that interested in keeping him alive.

Weird. Just noticed there's a @theatrebizarre.bsky.social account that's never posted anything. Wonder what that's about.