hello I logged back in after 2 years in order to inform you we're all gonna die whether we touch grass or not

I hate it when old people have ideas like please sir I have tasks

therapist: and what do we do when we feel bad about a time of year coming up?
me: we buy a pair of louboutins online
therapist: no
me: but like practical louboutins

does anyone have a really small violin I can borrow

my karma is I'll be making a beautiful spreadsheet for 12 hours straight & then look at it like I don't remember why I did this

I shitpost for the catholic school survivors

me irl

if an alien wanted to keep me as a pet I would let them but only if they'd treat me the same way I treat my dog