Bwah
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barbler.bsky.social
Bwah
@barbler.bsky.social
17 followers 32 following 450 posts
+20s. i read svsss thought it was mid and then got a shen jiu addiction so bad I've been unable to think of anything else ever since 🤡🔫 I use this blog to hash out my thoughts so if I contradict myself its the research process 🔬🕵‍♂️
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barbler.bsky.social
Everything I read lately has been hitting me out of absolute left field w/ surprise qi/jiu dynamics. Usually it's yuri but surprise nb/nb side character divorce gutting me 😭
Excerpt from Chapter 6 of the Left Hand of Darkness: hree years ago he had gone to Orgny Fastness and he wore now the gold chain of a Celibate of the Foretellers. We had not seen each other those three years, yet seeing his face in the twilight under the arch of stone I felt the old habit of our love as if it had been broken yesterday, and knew the faithfulness in him that had sent him to share my ruin. And feeling that unavailing bond close on me anew, I was angry; for Ashe's love had always forced me to act against my heart. Page 39 I went on past him. If I must be cruel no need to hide it, pretending kindness. "Therem," he called after me, and followed. I went fast down the steep streets of Kuseben towards the wharves. A south wind was blowing up from the sea, rustling the black trees of the gardens, and through that warm stormy summer dusk I hastened from him as from a murderer. He caught up with me, for I was too footsore to keep up my pace. He said, "Therem, I'll go with you." I made no answer. "Ten years ago in this month of Tuwa we took oath—" "And three years ago you broke it, leaving me, which was a wise choice." "I never broke the vow we swore, Therem." "True. There was none to break. It was a false vow, a second vow. You know it; you knew it then. The only true vow of faithfulness I ever swore was not spoken, nor could it be spoken, and the man I swore it to is dead and the promise broken, long ago. You owe me nothing, nor I you. Let me go." As I spoke my anger and bitterness turned from Ashe against myself and my own life, which lay behind me like a broken promise. But Ashe did not know this, and the tears stood in his eyes. He said, "Will you take this, Therem? I owe you nothing, but I love you well." He held a little packet out to me. "No. I have money, Ashe. Let me go. I must go alone." I went on, and he did not follow me. But my brother's shadow followed me. I had done ill to speak of him. I had done ill in all things.
November 12, 2025 at 2:16 PM
barbler.bsky.social
By the narrative to only be able to have the worse outcome out of a series of bad options. You had me in the first half but insert they did in fact kill jesus meme.
October 14, 2025 at 12:13 AM
barbler.bsky.social
Got so angry that my food got cold I ended up writing poetry about it while eating it (coldly) (angrily)
My food was hot So I went on my phone ... But while sitting alone I then had a thought: I forgot
September 15, 2025 at 4:50 AM
barbler.bsky.social
ngl this lyric did make me double-take like did hear that right but i did & lol & it's genuinely perfect
Lyrics from the song "Fuck Around And Find Out" by Polyphia (feat. $NOT), "I keep a clip on me, if I see an opponent Driving a Ford and indeed that is stolen"
August 28, 2025 at 2:25 AM
barbler.bsky.social
Unlocked another lvl of my own feelings towards why I think SV is so mid 🧠 💡🔨
Sv issue of being very individualism pilled Mc syndrome piled but in a taking responsibility is important (but also BG whisper of btw we live in a society) but it still mostly still gives MC the world revolves around me Syndrome plot armor Me w great preference to we live in a society MC who suffers and eats shit for unending chapters but manages to break free from the norm/standard of knowledge to paradigm shift while still grappling w & fighting against the reinforcement of harmful norms by world around them. Which does not happen meaningfully ever sadly Hm wonder of some of the isekai individualism tendencies is bc of the easy/west distinction of enforced communalism vs individualism (both within the framework of/informed by the experience of late capitalism) Anyway within the concept of otome genre tropes & the Villainess Isekai development out of otome heroine tropes (rebellion against girl vs girl misogyny trope; man-centricism / disillusionment with the hardwork pays off concept) Both fall into exceptionalism concepts w/ the later giving Hardwork is Rewarded if you're special :) & The later giving Suffering is Rewarded if yr special :) The later does have the pitfalls of like value suffering / self pitying / victim complex issues but thats preferable to the Otome trope of nice hardworking girl who does everything right within the system and gets rewarded for it which is utterly toothless and reinforcing VS Villainess isekai trope issue of humanizing ppl afflicted by MC exceptionalism but also doing like a grifting the system thing which is still :/ while also the tendency for the villainess having social capital that they only use for their personal benefit rather than challenging (often gets rid of the badly done classism rags to riches for uhh rich girl vs vague misogyny/the world out to get her or smth. Which is also really toothless) SV does do good of like...the setup is the later but execution the former bc in trying to grift the system using his awareness of it being actively detrimental to him bc its built on a false premise. And this false premise is challenged but none of the ACTUAL systemic scaffolding that created it (neither real world issues nor those within the magic circle world that derived from the real) Now that I think otome heroine plot armor of being Nice & conformity winning bc he has the existing social capital of the Villainess role. So like. worst of both 🙄
August 16, 2025 at 5:05 PM
barbler.bsky.social
I do keep circling in my mind on why I think LBH is mid bc he DOES have the type of wasted potential I tend to enjoy but this post brain blasted me 👍 It is bc I think he's annoying. Willingness to be cringe for love/to be known but that he then about-face goes manipulative 2-faced abt it😑👎 not a fan
August 14, 2025 at 12:26 AM
barbler.bsky.social
I go into the SJ tag to trawl for My Girl posts & there's been like a billion of some youtube song link bc I guess it just released so I listened to it & ngl. Kind of an SJ song.
First 4 stanzas to the song "As Alive As You Need Me To Be" by Nine Inch Nails: "The way it makes me feel, infection It's almost like a tongue on the back of my neck I never had a choice, connection I never had a chance to catch my breath It's eating up the space between us It's eating up all the remaining doubt It's filling up the hole inside you It's trying to find a way to let itself out Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Give me something to believe in All these hands have got a hold of me Give me something to believe in As alive as you need me to be Always going to go this way, there's no turning back Never any other way, there's no turning back Everything for a reason, everything for a reason Everything for a reason, everything for a reason"
July 22, 2025 at 5:39 AM
barbler.bsky.social
[continues to not draw or write abt them and just show screenshot of beasts] the dynamic is literally like this
July 12, 2025 at 5:13 AM
barbler.bsky.social
LBH exists to answer the question 'what if you gave a hydrogen bomb ptsd' & my OC asks the question 'what if you gave a rubber bouncy ball sentience and it chose to become a nuke'. Neither the ESA pet trope nor the child acquisition trope but the '??? has (forcibly) joined your party' trope lol.
July 9, 2025 at 11:57 PM
barbler.bsky.social
I have an oc au in the mind that's basically this post (SJ frees a LOZ-style fairy* from a pot & it imprints on him)

*it's a dijiang that got sealed bc it's potentially dangerous fully grown bc I think it's funny to keep giving SJ custody of potentially world-ending beasties & being clueless abt it
July 9, 2025 at 11:51 PM
barbler.bsky.social
😏 I can feel bad about shen jiu about anything 😎(🕶🤏🥺)
July 6, 2025 at 2:43 AM
barbler.bsky.social
Every single fucking day i see the absolutely worst sj takes full unironically tagged like man what even is this. 'haha isn't it so funny the unintentionally v transfem subtext character would be a terf lol' & why would the wrp people HATE her even in canon it's implied they were neutral at worst 😭
July 1, 2025 at 4:20 PM
barbler.bsky.social
Ngl if shen yuan did this I would have 0 complaints with SV even the ones completely unrelated to him would be gone. Alas.
June 23, 2025 at 1:53 AM
barbler.bsky.social
The yqy pt here pisses me off... like you think SJ who can barely stand to be in the same room as YQY is actively intentionally exploiting YQY's guilt thing? He hates it!!! He thinks it's 1/2 bribery out of guilt & not care 1/2 another thing used against him to frame him --
June 19, 2025 at 12:00 AM
barbler.bsky.social
Anyway everyone listen to Who By Fire live tribute to Leonard Cohen
June 18, 2025 at 12:23 AM
barbler.bsky.social
[guy with shen jiu brainworm 24/7 & everything reminds me of his suffering] oh imposter by oingo boingo we're rly in it now
June 18, 2025 at 12:18 AM
barbler.bsky.social
Also just look at the vulpix descriptions 😭

I also considered hisuian typholsian as alt but vulpix just fits so good & I mean. Ninetales. Also ninetales descriptions are sooo psychic type coded i fully forgot it's a pure fire type. TBH SJ could be alolan form too esp shiny. My trans palette agenda
May 21, 2025 at 2:21 AM
barbler.bsky.social
Was anybody gonna tell me plants can thermoregulate or was I just supposed to find that out on Wikipedia myself
May 14, 2025 at 11:19 PM
barbler.bsky.social
💀 ☠️ 💀 illiterate fucking statements every dumbass idiot who's like oh shen jiu deserved unending torture like ok u would've been part of the redditor ass lynch mob that made airplane make him 2D as fuck 🙄 like i get it's just that I think gratuitous torture and retribution is both boring & also--
May 14, 2025 at 9:14 PM
barbler.bsky.social
2nd bed shen jiu rant from last night lol. Now I get this is hc territory but as an SJ transfem truther the misogyny allegations hurt they're almost never nuanced... or like ignore the world state of the author being mad misogynist lmao. Why only SJ getting the problematic allegations.
People acting like NYY-LBH's relationship is while yes parallel directly equivalent to the SJ-QHT thing is laughable. Like for one SJ was the literal property of QHT's older brother who was his abuser that was grooming him into being the purse dog husband shackle to keep QHT home. So sj's thing w women is his usual personal issue of feeling he taints the good things around him but also the broader fear of men always destroy and take advantage (like sj 'taking advantage' of qht's kindness to hide from qjl that he was so ungrateful for that he ended up killing her family and ruining her life) But seeing posts like oh lbh learnt his misogyny from sj....no if anything lbh as a character is defined by his entitlement. Like sj has his issues but they kind of boil down to sj's rationalization of the abuse he's faced as 'no one deserves good things especially me' but lbh's is ofc the airplane dudebro self insert denial of blaming himself for the abuse he faced by going full 180 into 'I'm gods specialist boy and deserve everything' So yeah sj pushing lbh away from nyy bc of the usual projection/'never trust a man nyy they will use you' but unintentionally making lbh fucked up and lbh becoming exactly the kind of person who feels entitled to women. And like sorry but even SV lbh is like super entitled lol* Also SJ's thing w the WRP women being specifically him seeking out people w A. Similar life experiences that feel more equal (even w his new fun power over them he feels guilty for) and nonthreatening B. Have clear boundaries bc he doesn't trust himself not to overstep otherwise so it's him intentionally holding himself back and placing limits to try and not be A Man. Also the general selfimage/trust/etc issues that cake all of his reasons and actions etc. Vs LBH's 'kindness' toward women doing emotional labor by marrying them when its kind of fr just a possessive entitlement toward them (along w his insecurity/selfimage issues/etc that cake all of his reasons actions etc) *WHICH IS FUN!! Me pointing out other characters character flaws is not just me like trying to make sj more palatable but to show that everyone who can't fucking talk abt him with 70 'oh but don't forget his every single flaw' addendums are fucking unreasonable.
May 8, 2025 at 6:42 PM
barbler.bsky.social
Giving up doing long ass threads bc I'm a yapper so instead just screenshotting my before bed shen jiu phone notes thoughts. #qijiu does any1 actually remember if yqy's reaction to lqg's PIDW death is to ask why sj killed him or am I misremembering and making thematic parallels out of nothing.
When SJ gets blamed for LQG's death does YQY ask him if he's guilty or does he ask him "why did you kill him" bc if it's the later what a fucked up reversal of qijiu reunion. SJ asking the question why didn't you come back, which is reasonable but the basis is wrong. And yqy not defending himself bc he believes his failure isn't worth defending bc of learnt helplessness from futile begging alone in a cave and believing he has no value if not in service. Yqy asking SJ why did you kill him, which is reasonable but the basis is wrong. And sj doesn't defend himself bc his failure to save him is basically the same in his own mind. And also years of learnt helplessness from abuse and everyone assuming the absolute worst of him and believing no one would or should ever defend him and that he has no value if not in service. Lol. Anyway tldr when people take SJ's post-LQG's death actions as his normal regular state of being shitty as if it's not fr said to be when he's gave up all possible hope on his life ever having value or being anything but a curse to everyone around him. Like hello. Yeah average bade lvl mental state of the guy who willingly consigned himself to the eternal torture cave.
May 8, 2025 at 6:38 PM
barbler.bsky.social
Crying at other SJ fans writing 99% mid bottom omega shit like SJ IS THE FEMME DOM!! 😭 TO ME!!!
April 13, 2025 at 5:50 AM
barbler.bsky.social
Wow glad they finally added Scottish representation in marvel rivals #emmafrost @xmenallofem.bsky.social
Screenshot from the Marvel Rivals season 2 trailer of the character Emma Frost, a character that is notably not Scottish, but is holding a blue wine glass that has a white X shape on it that looks similar to the Scottish flag.
April 11, 2025 at 8:04 PM
barbler.bsky.social
I admit I'm so in the trenches of transfemSJ realness I do have to remind myself to not put it into my more general/fr criticism and theory but don't worry I prommy I only care abt women
I do focus all my discontent via SJ stanning and advocation but don't worry I'm ALSO pissed abt how women are treated. But harder to put into words bc isn't the author a woman? So like. Whyd she do that. Like I get playing w the men focusedness in both male audience and female audience works and specifically in danmei but like the execution is so... like what? Like the pervasive but only in thr subtext classism of the work is easy. That there's only high birth girlies with voice (tho still barely) is embedded within that sure alright. But then it's like hmmm. Part of it is def as a male-focused work men are centered and SJ's subtextual integrity and importance is easier to analyze and clearly where he fits within it. But like idk for ex LMY and how she goes from PIDW world of being like QHT shut out of the privilege of knowing and action without a man to advocate but still works within their privilege to mete out justice and righteousness but only to a man after he has been degraded to be below them and unable to do so otherwise and still kept within the claws of men under male motivated driving forces. To SV world where she becomes an audience-lens of becoming an in-world force of doing to SY what he does to others (turns him into a porn book character) which is still smth that speaks to her privilege and SY-like narrowmindedness lmao. Doyalist vs watsonian interpretation etc idk. QHT like....man what to say abt her. Like slave owner family myopic worldview. Sheltered and ignorant but taken as naivety and innocence. As much a privilege as it was a misogynistic role she was consigned to by others without ever knowing. NYY similar like that she's barely in the scope of acknowledgement of SY by the end of it basically like do we ever even hear abt her and what's she's doing. Like good riddance the less one is a character the more they get to be a person outside of the voracious and dissecting eyes of viewers but mannnnn
April 11, 2025 at 3:52 PM
barbler.bsky.social
Had more thoughts after the prev tangent and it got too long again and making threads is a pain so lol notes app screenshot.
See the thing I like abt the isekai genre is that it's baked in the unacknowledged bones of horror. Modern 21st century escapism bc of the utter bleakness of late capitalism. Body horror transmigration of someone's life being naught but story/spectacle that becomes stolen upturned & a 'person' forced into a world that becomes them as 'character' & navigating that & the potential for it as like a metaphor for overcoming indivdualism & alienation & some other stuff. Except it never does that but the POTENTIAL is THERE. And SVSSS does well in like playing on the lighthearted comedy tone of an Unreliable narrator in a world distinctly horrifying from the lack of care put into it. Both in setting & cast how callously & for granted things are taken. And SJ specifically is a great vehicle to explore the unacknowledged bones all of the above is built upon. And LBH too re my prev long tangent re twitch plays patriarchal violence. And there's like a good set up for a slow deconstruction. And then it does nothing to acknowledge them and wraps everything up as simply and banally as all other mid ass isekai. And myopic worldview of the split betw various interpreations of the work ranging from well parts of it are horrific but at heart it's a cocomeuppance. Abt breaking the cycle of violence uwu to its a torture nexus where a redditor gets punished and emasculated commuppance. Both of which I'm like woah. Like if anything it has the barbie movie issue of having a few ideas and pts it meant and then getting lost in the sauce of it and had too many setting pts it took for granted without meaningfully analyzing their implications and thus ended up being directionally thematically unsound and contradictory.
April 11, 2025 at 3:30 PM