Balzac Asimov, Irritant Ordinaire👨‍🦯
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balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Balzac Asimov, Irritant Ordinaire👨‍🦯
@balzac-asimov.bsky.social
830 followers 710 following 5.3K posts
Cranky, visually impaired civil servant. Pseudonymous coward. Former call-center crisis tank, current DEI hire and Monday-morning lunatic. Comics, games, antifascism, etc (he/him)
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balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Everyone always responds to Andreesen pictures with Vincent Price as Batman villain Egghead, but I think he looks much more like the Ant-Man villain of the same name at Marvel.
60s Marvel villain Elihas "Evghead" Starr, a broadly-built white man with a near-conical bald head. Here, he wears glasses with heavy black frames, and a white lab coat draped over a white dress shirt with black-and-red-striped tie, blue slacks and brown dress shoes. He grimaces as he reaches toward the camera.
October 28, 2025 at 2:44 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Post a fictional comedian who definitely would accept an invitation to the Riyadh Comedy Festival.
Eugene Levy as Bobby Bittman on SCTV: a man in his early 30s wearing his hair in a giant helmet thing, like a pompadour that extends in every direction, his wide-lapel leisure suit shirt open to show off far too many gold chains. He holds a cigarette with one hand and is gesturing for emphasis on the set of THE SAMMY MAUDLIN SHOW.
September 30, 2025 at 4:27 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
A "boss fightincoming" screen from one of the Darius video games (which all use giant robotic sea creatures as bosses)
September 19, 2025 at 2:17 AM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Doctor I trust more than RFK Jr
Dr. Cube from monster wrestling comedy thing Kaiju Big Battel: a man with a tofu cube for a head dressed in blue surgical scrubs with black gloves.
September 7, 2025 at 4:48 AM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Oh god, discourse incoming. And as always, nobody truly gets canceled for abusing women if there's money to be made off their name.
An image of a humblebundle.com page advertising a bundle of Warren Ellis's Image graphic novels.
May 22, 2025 at 4:58 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Everyone always compares him to Vincent Price as Egghead in the 60s Batman comic, but i think the Marvel character (who came first, and was created for comics rather than TV) is a better fit.
Marvel villain Egghead, a thick bespectacled man in a white lab coat, blue slacks, brown dress shoes and white dress shirt with a Dilbert-ass red-and-black-striped necktie. His bald head is pointy like Dan Aykroyd as Beldar Conehead.
April 30, 2025 at 6:49 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
🎶With my rice, I like to have some COW COW COW🎶
A beef donburi with ajitama egg on top, sitting on a TV tray with an Arizona hard green tea tallboy partially visible.
February 1, 2025 at 1:19 AM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Those are the wrong tables this is going to suck for everyone #wrestlekingdom
A scene from a pro wrestling show. A man is setting up a folding table, which is much narrower than the ones seen at most shows, and looks much sturdier.
January 4, 2025 at 1:58 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
In my coat closet. It's not full size, it's like this
A four-wheeled cart with a wide wire frame, the type one might line with a bag to transport laundry
January 1, 2025 at 4:51 AM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
So cool. Not fun.
Atari's 1970s HERCULES pinball, a game that uses a pool ball and has giant flippers and targets
December 1, 2024 at 10:38 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Oh God. This one's gonna hurt.
A screenshot from Google Mail: the new ep of the Leaving Eden Podcast is entitled "Raising Them Chaste" and Balzac is still angry at his 17 year old self for believing that Jesus cared about his virginity
November 16, 2024 at 5:12 AM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
This is the only thing Dougherty has ever said that should be put in the paper
Screencaps of 3 tweets from Labor Day weekend 2021. MBD: "Whereas I think that their commitment to legal abortion as a moral and constitutional right significantly drives their perception of the bad faith and culture warring of pro-lifers." User Sam Sawyer, SJ ("SJ" means "Society of Jesus," indicating that Sawyer is a Jesuit) responds: "I'm willing to accept that you hold this view, even though I think you're badly wrong about it, without assuming bad faith on your part. You willing to return the favor?" MBD replies: "I'm sure you hold that view in good faith. But that's why I also have the good faith view that I'd rather my children be raped by Jesuits than educated by them. Less damage I think."
November 1, 2024 at 5:06 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Re-sharing the only MBD quote anyone should ever cite.
Screencaps of 3 tweets from Labor Day weekend 2021. MBD: "Whereas I think that their commitment to legal abortion as a moral and constitutional right significantly drives their perception of the bad faith and culture warring of pro-lifers." User Sam Sawyer, SJ ("SJ" means "Society of Jesus," indicating that Sawyer is a Jesuit) responds: "I'm willing to accept that you hold this view, even though I think you're badly wrong about it, without assuming bad faith on your part. You willing to return the favor?" MBD replies: "I'm sure you hold that view in good faith. But that's why I also have the good faith view that I'd rather my children be raped by Jesuits than educated by them. Less damage I think."
November 1, 2024 at 5:05 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
I feel like this item says everything we need to know about the proprietor of this fine shop.
A sticker for sale that says "DANGER STAY BACK 100 METERS OR YOU WILL BE SHOT" in English in white text on red background, and what appears to be an Arabic translation in black text on white background.
October 23, 2024 at 10:04 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Cool.
Nothing to see here Here either
October 5, 2024 at 8:05 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
And now, all the other star-bellied Sneeches start searching "laser birthmark removal."
I am bsky user #92,307
September 17, 2024 at 12:31 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
For whatever reason, a Bloody Mary at the airport has marked the start and end of every vacation I've been on for 25 years.
A photo of a tall Bloody Mary sitting atop a granite (?) bar at an airport, a straw and the edge of a menu off to the side. Underneath, my cargo-shorted legs and part of my satchel are visible.
September 2, 2024 at 10:45 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Wat.
Screenshot of the description of today's Knowledge Fight podcast ep: "In this installment, Dan and Jordan check in on a special report Alex put out where he had the best idea of his recent csreer: do a confrontational interview with ChatGPT."
September 2, 2024 at 1:38 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
I know they're nerds but I did not expect to see Guy Gardner homage gear on TV in 2024. 🤼‍♀️
Pro wrestlers Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods, AKA the New Day, wearing plastic-ish single-breasted vests which evoke Green Lantern Guy Gardner's 80s costume, with unicorns in the circle where the GL logo would go. Xavier's is mostly black with gray sides and silver collar and trim. Kofi's is mostly green, with black side stripes and yellow (or maybe a yellowish green like chartreuse, I'm bad at colors) collar and trim.
August 27, 2024 at 2:12 AM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
I see that the new X-Factor series is going to be extremely subtle in its satire.
A comic panel from X-Factor (2024 series) #1. Rodger Broderick, a man with a carefully trimmed gray beard and mostly-gray hair with a tuft of black right over his nose, points at the camera and says: "I'm a visionary, General. War will come, and when it does...it will be the first one in history where we control the IP rights!"
August 14, 2024 at 11:53 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
I have been very, very good on not buying toys this year. But THIS I could not possibly pass on.
The joint 40th anniversary TMNT/Transformers crossover figure Party Wallop, who transforms from the 80s cartoon Turtles' iconic van into a robot who resembles a Ninja Turtle. He's still mint in box (for another hour or so), so you can't see the four removable masks and four sets of weapons. Soon, he will be in Donatello's gear.
July 23, 2024 at 1:24 AM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Obligatory repost of this @waitingforthetrade.bsky.social classic.
A one-panel cartoon. Several X-Men flee in terror, including a young man covered in eyes. Rogue, wearing a one piece green and white swimsuit and also covered in extra eyes, yells "Everybody take cover, I just touched Cyclops and Eye Boy at the same time!"
July 11, 2024 at 8:59 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
This page has been deleted.
A 404 page from the Clackamas County Republican Party webpage
June 22, 2024 at 4:34 PM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Saw this elsewhere and I howled with laughter, though I'm not sure anyone whose brain hasn't been turned to soup by internet wrestling fandom will get it
A photo of a tweet by Twitter user BossMoz, who has quote tweeted Discussing Film's "Young Sheldon ends tonight." and responded with a famous (to wrestling nerds, at least) picture of John Cena announcing to a WWE audience that Osama Bin Ladin has been "compromised to a permanent end."
May 17, 2024 at 12:13 AM
balzac-asimov.bsky.social
Slightly bigger moustache and it's Von Kaiser from Punch-Out!!
Video game character Von Kaiser, whose long pants tucked into his boots, suspenders, curly-tipped mustache and center-parted hair make him look like a caricature of a prize fighter from the turn of the 20th century.
May 2, 2024 at 10:47 PM