Balsam B'Grant Heat
@balsam.bsky.social
Out of order outhouse
Alright mea culpa time: the harvests were just okay
Probably nothing bad will happen next year. We're due for a golden year: big harvests, lots of wildflowers, happy bees, sunsets with colors you've never seen
December 17, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Alright mea culpa time: the harvests were just okay
I've been going nuts making biscuits and blini the last few days
December 17, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I've been going nuts making biscuits and blini the last few days
One time on the school bus I heard two girls talking about a "period" and I asked what that was and one of them told me it's when blood comes out of the vagina and I was like yeah sure but what is it really? Stop foolin'
December 16, 2025 at 7:00 PM
One time on the school bus I heard two girls talking about a "period" and I asked what that was and one of them told me it's when blood comes out of the vagina and I was like yeah sure but what is it really? Stop foolin'
My sexual rival is singing some very nasty things about me in a song he dedicated to my lover
December 16, 2025 at 3:42 AM
My sexual rival is singing some very nasty things about me in a song he dedicated to my lover
Oops I just "Minority Report"'d myself
December 15, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Oops I just "Minority Report"'d myself
Ahmed al Ahmed hospital photos have a Tony Soprano vibe or is it just me
December 15, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Ahmed al Ahmed hospital photos have a Tony Soprano vibe or is it just me
My son Djinnsin is asking to "seal a shadow pact" for his eighth birthday, how do I deescalate this situation?
December 13, 2025 at 7:27 PM
My son Djinnsin is asking to "seal a shadow pact" for his eighth birthday, how do I deescalate this situation?
Got laughed out of the New York City mayoral race after I said I love to buy the diced cheese at the Bodego
December 12, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Got laughed out of the New York City mayoral race after I said I love to buy the diced cheese at the Bodego
Taking one of the nanobots out of my child's brain and putting it in my brain to learn everything they learned in school
December 12, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Taking one of the nanobots out of my child's brain and putting it in my brain to learn everything they learned in school
Don't talk to me until I've had my cognitive test and MRI
December 10, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Don't talk to me until I've had my cognitive test and MRI
Good luck kid, I hope you don't turn into Doctor Doom
December 10, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Good luck kid, I hope you don't turn into Doctor Doom
Kyle Rittenhouse killed by wife in "justified homicide"
December 10, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Kyle Rittenhouse killed by wife in "justified homicide"
Did you hear? They're making a TV show based on Dog the Bounty Hunter's dog named Hunter. It's going to be called Hunter the Bounty Dog. Hey, it's better than the show Dog's son Bounty pitched
December 10, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Did you hear? They're making a TV show based on Dog the Bounty Hunter's dog named Hunter. It's going to be called Hunter the Bounty Dog. Hey, it's better than the show Dog's son Bounty pitched
Reposted by Balsam B'Grant Heat
Sam Altman: I didn't even know how to make babby without ChatGPT. I said ChatGPT when is the right time to release my spores for my wife to absorb?
Jimmy Fallon: "And do you use ChatGPT when raising your baby?"
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
December 9, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Sam Altman: I didn't even know how to make babby without ChatGPT. I said ChatGPT when is the right time to release my spores for my wife to absorb?
Honking a clown off is not sexual
December 9, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Honking a clown off is not sexual
Reposted by Balsam B'Grant Heat
I'm definitely at the "try pieing" part of that old saying "get rich or try pieing"
December 7, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I'm definitely at the "try pieing" part of that old saying "get rich or try pieing"
I bet fish are really into current events
December 6, 2025 at 5:11 PM
I bet fish are really into current events
I've got a craving for King's Hand
December 6, 2025 at 8:02 AM
I've got a craving for King's Hand
Donald J Trump four time consecutive winner of the FIFA World Peace Prize Cup
December 6, 2025 at 4:57 AM
Donald J Trump four time consecutive winner of the FIFA World Peace Prize Cup
I related to Frankenstein in the new Frankenstein movie because I also didn't ask to be born and I also wanted my parents to assign me a girlfriend (and I also killed some men in the Arctic 🥶)
December 6, 2025 at 1:15 AM
I related to Frankenstein in the new Frankenstein movie because I also didn't ask to be born and I also wanted my parents to assign me a girlfriend (and I also killed some men in the Arctic 🥶)
Spoiler alert: Frankenstein (2025)
Trigger warning: abuse
I didn't like the part in the new Frankenstein movie where the doctor was being mean to Frankenstein
Trigger warning: abuse
I didn't like the part in the new Frankenstein movie where the doctor was being mean to Frankenstein
December 6, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Spoiler alert: Frankenstein (2025)
Trigger warning: abuse
I didn't like the part in the new Frankenstein movie where the doctor was being mean to Frankenstein
Trigger warning: abuse
I didn't like the part in the new Frankenstein movie where the doctor was being mean to Frankenstein
Hot breakfasts in your area want to be eaten
December 5, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Hot breakfasts in your area want to be eaten
If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.
December 5, 2025 at 7:53 PM
If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.