Baldor, Regent of Skarn
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baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor, Regent of Skarn
@baldorofskarn.bsky.social
160 followers 830 following 160 posts
Baldor is from the Centaurus Constellation. Baldor has travelled through time and space to make sense of Earth. When not speaking about himself in the third person, Baldor's interests include quelling intergalactic uprisings and açai frozen yogurt.
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baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor notes Jamie Dimon has urged caution. Your Earth phrase about 'a day late and a dollar short' springs to mind.
April 7, 2025 at 2:09 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
It is true, Baldor is two martinis into it and the compost gnats have never looked so hot.
The image is a screenshot of a BBC News app headline that reads, "Alcohol makes male fruit flies more attractive". Below the headline is a picture of two fruit flies on a leaf.
April 4, 2025 at 9:17 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor actually liked Electric State - & will challenge anyone to a lazer duel that disagrees.
March 20, 2025 at 10:14 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
It's true, Baldor has invented the Large Padron Collider.
The image is a photoshoped image of the Large Hardon Collider, but there are very large padron peppers superimposed over where the cooling pipes should be.
March 16, 2025 at 4:59 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Looks like Baldor's gonna need a bigger time machine.
The image is a screengrab from the CNN news app. The headline reads, "Massive megalodon was even longer than scientists thought". The image accompanying the headline is a bright orange silhouette of an 80ft megalodon next to a (tiny) scuba diver to indicate the scale of the prehistoric fish.
March 13, 2025 at 10:16 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor thinks we've reached peak creator economy...
The image is a screengrab of a YouTube clip from the UK TV show, This Morning. The picture in the screengrab is of a young blond woman in the This Morning studio, and the headline reads, I Gave Up My Job To Become A Skipping Influencer".
March 11, 2025 at 3:57 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor knows a metaphor when he sees one.
The image is a screenshot from a CNN News app headline. The headline reads, "SpaceX's Starship spacecraft explodes mid-flight for a second time, disrupting Florida air traffic". And there is a still from a video recording of the ship bursting into flames.
March 7, 2025 at 9:00 AM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Oh Baldor knows how this goes. First job will go to AI's idiot brother-in-law, then AI's cousin will be made district manager, even though Baldor have way more experience.
The image is a screen grab from the CNN News app. The headline reads, "Robot recruiters:How AI is helping decide who gets hired". The screen grab includes a generic photo of an office work shuffling through CVs over their laptop.
March 5, 2025 at 5:52 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor cannot wait to trade his Tesla in for a mammoth-sized mouse as my daily commute.
The image is a screenshot from the BCC News site. The headline reads, "Wolly mice designed to engineer mammoth-like elephants". And a picture shows two wolly mice in the gloved hands of a lab technician.
March 4, 2025 at 2:22 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor admires Adrien Brody's attempt to make his acceptance speech almost as long as The Brutalist.
March 3, 2025 at 5:24 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
But Baldor just want to know which was smuggled first?
The image is a headline from the CNN News app. The headline reads, 'As egg prices soar, US Customs and Border Protection cracks down on egg smuggling'
March 2, 2025 at 10:50 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor just wake up from one-day hibernation. Feeling much better. What did I miss?
February 28, 2025 at 11:20 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Definition of irony. Baldor has read this headline ten times but still it make no sense.
The image is a screengrab of a CNN headline. There is a picture of a recent high school graduate, and the headline reads, "She graduated from high school with honors but can't read or write. Now she's suing.'
February 27, 2025 at 9:21 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor bet $100 the toilet has already been delivered to White House.
The image is from the CNN News website. The headline reads "Three men on trial over $6 million gold toilet stolen in 'audacious raid'". Below the headline there is a picture of a solid gold toilet.
February 25, 2025 at 3:33 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor is sad. Roberta Flack remains one of your Earth's truly great singers.
rollingstone.com Rolling Stone @rollingstone.com · Feb 24
Roberta Flack, the Grammy-winning soul and R&B vocalist and educator who penned massive hits with “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” and “Killing Me Softly with His Song,” has died at age 88.

Read the free obituary here: www.rollingstone.com/music/music-...
February 24, 2025 at 4:47 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor recognises both Beterbiev and Bivol are true boxing warriors - and not just because their names both start same as Baldor's.
February 23, 2025 at 8:26 AM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor is pretty sure you Earth people will look back on this video as marking the rise of the machines...
youtu.be/Z3yQHYNXPws?...
Introducing Helix
YouTube video by Figure
youtu.be
February 21, 2025 at 1:06 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor see CNN still speaking truth to power even as your Earth burns.
The image is a screenshot from CNN's news app. There is an image of a row of coffee creamers on a supermarket shelf. The headline with the image reads: It's Not Just You: Coffee Creamers have Gotten Weird'
February 16, 2025 at 8:33 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor has SO many to choose from. Earthworm, sea slug, vance...
February 14, 2025 at 5:34 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor pretty sure NYT's Connections setter needs a hug.
The image is a spoof mock-up of the New York Times' Connections game, where the usual words,which appear on a 4x4 grid have been changed to read: Chaos, Despair, Blind, Panic, no, plan, what, so ever, Hegseth, MTG?, are, you, fucking, kidding, me?!?, wtf?!
February 12, 2025 at 4:31 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor assumes the Earth's inner core has started taking Ozempic.
The image is a screenshot of a CNN headline. The headline reads: "'It's Almost Science Fiction': Scientists say the Shape of the Earth's inner core is changing". Below the headline is an illustration depicting a cross section of the Earth revealing its various cores.
February 11, 2025 at 5:40 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor is very sad to read this. In Baldor's galaxy, Tom Robbins is considered to be one of the few writers who understands how wonderfully strange the universe can really be.
February 10, 2025 at 7:32 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Bad for Bryan Adams, yes, but Baldor is pleased that fatberg has been cast in musical of The Substance.
The image is a screenshot of a CNN Entertainment News story. The headline reads: Sewer Fatberg of grease and rags forces Bryan Adams to cancel Australia Show. Below the picture in a picture of singer Bryan Adams performing on stage.
February 10, 2025 at 6:07 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor asked AI to write a joke about this headline, but it wasn't gouda-nuff.
The image is a still from a BBC News story. The headline reads: 'Google remakes Super Bowl ad after AI cheese gaffe'. And there is a picture of piles of Gouda cheese, and a sub-heading which reads: 'Gouda is popular, but not that popular'.
February 9, 2025 at 4:48 PM
baldorofskarn.bsky.social
Baldor gives props to Argentina for trying to out do the US in the signs-of-the-apocalypse sweepstakes.
The image is a headline from BBC News which reads Argentina Canal Turns Bright Red, Alarming Residents. And then there is a picture of the canal in question, which is bright violet colour and running into a river.
February 7, 2025 at 6:08 PM