Maybe they're going with the "sidequest fiend" cannon and the courier exists but has spent the past 16 years collecting vault suits and snow globes

Lil sis swooped in with the rescue cheddar, all is right with the world.

I wish I could like this 12 times

Hey now, some of us are real, we just don't get replies or likes on anything but our selfies so we put the goods in the shop window. 😮‍💨

He claims he's betting with genuine breast milk but its actually tainted formula that he picked up in bulk at a product recall center.

If thats a concern maybe Thick Ass Logan instead, thats a bit easier to say

Petition to change your name to Big Ass Logan Theeck Sorcerer 👀