it crosses my mind every once in a while that some ancient asshole paid a scribe to write down their ideas.

We need a biscuit connoisseur to assess and recommend the world's biscuits styles

go straight to jail

remembering my ex-colleague isn't the boss of me

If I die my family can split a broken daybed and a five-legged spider plush dog toy I found in a park amongst themselves.

I'm here to eat all the vegetables and all the cookies because I do what I want.

Submitting my first draft for him to tear apart.

A specific coffee chain cup would be heartbreaking

Witnessed a lady in a coat and scarf without pants and underroos on standing outside our central bus station this week. She wasn't distressed. Seemed to know what she was doing. Pantsless Wednesdays, I guess.

My kiddo was born in Muncie, the setting of the film 😁. I have a special fondness for the place, which is definitely weird. On our fridge:

Humanity isn't all they're faking.

This film saved me from going to a frat party (and became an instant favorite).

I dunno, seems like whoever wrote the story was real pissed at concession stand prices. Dove tendies were too damned high.

Also wouldn't be making a business of religion. Every time I drive through Jerry Falwell territory I am reminded that Jesus flipped tables when people started conducting business in and about the temple. And Christianity wasn't Jesus' idea.

Willy Wonka's wall of brie 🤮