Awkward Tofana
@awkwardtofana.bsky.social
Looking for an in with the baba yaga. Let me know if you hear of anything.
More and more, present-day Elon Musk reminds me of 2011 Charlie Sheen.
January 24, 2025 at 12:30 AM
More and more, present-day Elon Musk reminds me of 2011 Charlie Sheen.
I work at a bank and the other day a man came in and said that Fox News is selling 2-dollar bills with Trump's face on them for $19.95, and do we have any, and if he buys them can he spend them.
Like, my guy, my patience was exhausted a third of the way through that whole thing. No.
Like, my guy, my patience was exhausted a third of the way through that whole thing. No.
December 24, 2024 at 2:04 PM
I work at a bank and the other day a man came in and said that Fox News is selling 2-dollar bills with Trump's face on them for $19.95, and do we have any, and if he buys them can he spend them.
Like, my guy, my patience was exhausted a third of the way through that whole thing. No.
Like, my guy, my patience was exhausted a third of the way through that whole thing. No.
Reposted by Awkward Tofana
Being a maximally mean and off-putting feminist … this is my goal for 2025.
December 19, 2024 at 6:39 PM
Being a maximally mean and off-putting feminist … this is my goal for 2025.
If cancer didn't already exist, capitalists would have invented it.
Goldman Sachs asks in biotech research report: 'Is curing patients a sustainable business model?'
Goldman Sachs warns sales from the most successful disease treatments are difficult to maintain.
www.cnbc.com
December 18, 2024 at 3:24 PM
If cancer didn't already exist, capitalists would have invented it.
I need someone to grab me by the ankles and shake me out like a beach towel so that every bone in my skeleton snaps into alignment. If it kills me, so be it.
December 18, 2024 at 3:00 PM
I need someone to grab me by the ankles and shake me out like a beach towel so that every bone in my skeleton snaps into alignment. If it kills me, so be it.
Thought this was a parody account but I guess it's real? Anyway congrats on your new bird law, I'm sure it will do a lot of good.
My bipartisan legislation to recognize the Bald Eagle as our national bird just passed Congress and is now headed to the President’s desk to be signed into law! 🦅
December 17, 2024 at 2:45 AM
Thought this was a parody account but I guess it's real? Anyway congrats on your new bird law, I'm sure it will do a lot of good.
I made a joke the other day that I live my life hopping from fear to whim to fear to whim, and I'm only just now realizing it wasn't a joke.
December 16, 2024 at 3:14 PM
I made a joke the other day that I live my life hopping from fear to whim to fear to whim, and I'm only just now realizing it wasn't a joke.
It only counts as a Christmas movie if it feels Inappropriate and Wrong to watch it at any other time of year.
December 16, 2024 at 5:25 AM
It only counts as a Christmas movie if it feels Inappropriate and Wrong to watch it at any other time of year.
I just want all the non-Texans to know that Texans fucking hate this guy too.
Breaking News: The Texas attorney general Ken Paxton sued a New York doctor for sending abortion pills into Texas. It appeared to be among the first attempts to stop doctors from mailing the medications to states that ban abortions.
Texas Sues New York Doctor for Mailing Abortion Pills
The lawsuit, filed on Thursday, appeared to be among the first attempts to stop doctors from mailing the medication to states that ban abortions.
www.nytimes.com
December 14, 2024 at 2:21 AM
I just want all the non-Texans to know that Texans fucking hate this guy too.
If I someday get arrested and happen to have my journal on me, I hope police refer to it as my manifesto.
"Suspect wrote extensively about kissing and holding hands with women, giving clear insight into her motive."
"Suspect wrote extensively about kissing and holding hands with women, giving clear insight into her motive."
December 10, 2024 at 7:52 PM
If I someday get arrested and happen to have my journal on me, I hope police refer to it as my manifesto.
"Suspect wrote extensively about kissing and holding hands with women, giving clear insight into her motive."
"Suspect wrote extensively about kissing and holding hands with women, giving clear insight into her motive."
In most cases, the word "billionaire" is a lie.
It's usually a propaganda word for sociopathic narcissists with severe erectile dysfunction.
It's usually a propaganda word for sociopathic narcissists with severe erectile dysfunction.
December 10, 2024 at 7:28 PM
In most cases, the word "billionaire" is a lie.
It's usually a propaganda word for sociopathic narcissists with severe erectile dysfunction.
It's usually a propaganda word for sociopathic narcissists with severe erectile dysfunction.
I was not built for elegance. I am made to be rumpled.
December 10, 2024 at 2:52 PM
I was not built for elegance. I am made to be rumpled.
Reposted by Awkward Tofana
What's your late Autumn look?
1. rumpled sweater witch
2. exhausted blurry shape
3. shambling mossy horror
4. weird forgotten Muppet
1. rumpled sweater witch
2. exhausted blurry shape
3. shambling mossy horror
4. weird forgotten Muppet
December 10, 2024 at 3:30 AM
What's your late Autumn look?
1. rumpled sweater witch
2. exhausted blurry shape
3. shambling mossy horror
4. weird forgotten Muppet
1. rumpled sweater witch
2. exhausted blurry shape
3. shambling mossy horror
4. weird forgotten Muppet
As a lifelong lover of naps, I have to admit that the best part of every nap is the time between deciding to take a nap and actually falling asleep.
December 7, 2024 at 9:08 PM
As a lifelong lover of naps, I have to admit that the best part of every nap is the time between deciding to take a nap and actually falling asleep.
19 of 20
My mom would read one chapter to me before bed, but because every chapter was a cliffhanger, and because I'm impatient on a genetic level, I had to know what was gonna happen next. So Nancy Drew is the reason I started reading on my own as a kid.
#20daybookchallenge
#booksky
#books
My mom would read one chapter to me before bed, but because every chapter was a cliffhanger, and because I'm impatient on a genetic level, I had to know what was gonna happen next. So Nancy Drew is the reason I started reading on my own as a kid.
#20daybookchallenge
#booksky
#books
December 7, 2024 at 6:30 PM
19 of 20
My mom would read one chapter to me before bed, but because every chapter was a cliffhanger, and because I'm impatient on a genetic level, I had to know what was gonna happen next. So Nancy Drew is the reason I started reading on my own as a kid.
#20daybookchallenge
#booksky
#books
My mom would read one chapter to me before bed, but because every chapter was a cliffhanger, and because I'm impatient on a genetic level, I had to know what was gonna happen next. So Nancy Drew is the reason I started reading on my own as a kid.
#20daybookchallenge
#booksky
#books
December 6, 2024 at 2:27 PM
Currently, in order to read a book by a male author, I need at least 2 unsolicited recommendations from women whose taste I admire.
December 6, 2024 at 2:28 AM
Currently, in order to read a book by a male author, I need at least 2 unsolicited recommendations from women whose taste I admire.
I liked it last year when Spotify just told all the lesbians to move to Vermont.
December 5, 2024 at 3:35 PM
I liked it last year when Spotify just told all the lesbians to move to Vermont.
I really want to make an alt account that highlights the most load-bearing words in posts from news orgs.
"if confirmed"
"if confirmed"
Donald Trump’s secretary of defense pick has made a solemn promise to quit drinking if confirmed to the position.
Hegseth Vows to Get Sober if Confirmed
The embattled Fox News host-turned-secretary of defense nominee denied ever having a drinking problem.
www.thedailybeast.com
December 5, 2024 at 3:57 AM
I really want to make an alt account that highlights the most load-bearing words in posts from news orgs.
"if confirmed"
"if confirmed"
I don't think I've posted this one yet. I remember reading this after over a decade of unmedicated depression and thinking, I don't get why people say this is such a downer.
(16/20 I think)
#20daybookchallenge
#booksky
(16/20 I think)
#20daybookchallenge
#booksky
December 4, 2024 at 7:24 PM
I don't think I've posted this one yet. I remember reading this after over a decade of unmedicated depression and thinking, I don't get why people say this is such a downer.
(16/20 I think)
#20daybookchallenge
#booksky
(16/20 I think)
#20daybookchallenge
#booksky
Is there a book where the protagonist sets out to kill God? Looking for some inspiration today.
#serious
#bookrecommendations
#booksky
#books
#serious
#bookrecommendations
#booksky
#books
December 3, 2024 at 7:33 PM
Is there a book where the protagonist sets out to kill God? Looking for some inspiration today.
#serious
#bookrecommendations
#booksky
#books
#serious
#bookrecommendations
#booksky
#books
Needed more lesbians and less eugenics. But the best thing about this manifesto-disguised-as-a-novella (originally published in 1915) is how many times it mentions pockets. Good to know we've made absolutely no progress on that.
#20daybookchallenge
#noreviews
#noexplanations
#20daybookchallenge
#noreviews
#noexplanations
December 3, 2024 at 3:36 PM
Needed more lesbians and less eugenics. But the best thing about this manifesto-disguised-as-a-novella (originally published in 1915) is how many times it mentions pockets. Good to know we've made absolutely no progress on that.
#20daybookchallenge
#noreviews
#noexplanations
#20daybookchallenge
#noreviews
#noexplanations
Love this because I too would like a bookshelf so precarious and overstuffed that I know it will ultimately cause my death.
Is marvelling at excessive personal libraries a thing on BS?
December 3, 2024 at 3:29 PM
Love this because I too would like a bookshelf so precarious and overstuffed that I know it will ultimately cause my death.
Reposted by Awkward Tofana
