Averagematsby
@averagematsby.bsky.social
He/Him. Shitposter. Musician. Streamer. I'm in your walls.
Twitch.tv/averagematsby
Twitch.tv/averagematsby
My gf short circuits my brain.
Like I simultaneously want to squish her cheeks and call her super cute pet names. But also I want to die between her thighs.
Also she doesn't have this app so I can get away with saying this here.
Suck it nerd...jk...I wub you boo...
Like I simultaneously want to squish her cheeks and call her super cute pet names. But also I want to die between her thighs.
Also she doesn't have this app so I can get away with saying this here.
Suck it nerd...jk...I wub you boo...
December 21, 2025 at 6:40 PM
My gf short circuits my brain.
Like I simultaneously want to squish her cheeks and call her super cute pet names. But also I want to die between her thighs.
Also she doesn't have this app so I can get away with saying this here.
Suck it nerd...jk...I wub you boo...
Like I simultaneously want to squish her cheeks and call her super cute pet names. But also I want to die between her thighs.
Also she doesn't have this app so I can get away with saying this here.
Suck it nerd...jk...I wub you boo...
The "She's not gonna fuck you bro" crowd are fucking weird.
Not every interaction is transactional. In fact if you treat life that way you're a fucking creep.
Not every interaction is transactional. In fact if you treat life that way you're a fucking creep.
November 23, 2025 at 10:08 PM
The "She's not gonna fuck you bro" crowd are fucking weird.
Not every interaction is transactional. In fact if you treat life that way you're a fucking creep.
Not every interaction is transactional. In fact if you treat life that way you're a fucking creep.
Reposted by Averagematsby
Was going to use the bathroom and my butt fell off and then I flushed it
November 6, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Was going to use the bathroom and my butt fell off and then I flushed it
Sometimes I forget this exists. Sometimes I sit on my balls. The world is strange.
August 9, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Sometimes I forget this exists. Sometimes I sit on my balls. The world is strange.
"SiNcE wHeN iS sUpErMaN aN iMmIgRaNt?!"
"HeS wOkE nOw!"
The motherfucker always has been. He fought the fucking Klan dude. He is justice and hope made flesh. His little curly hair bit is probably fucking condensed empathy. The man super-pisses truth. You just have no media literacy.
"HeS wOkE nOw!"
The motherfucker always has been. He fought the fucking Klan dude. He is justice and hope made flesh. His little curly hair bit is probably fucking condensed empathy. The man super-pisses truth. You just have no media literacy.
July 8, 2025 at 1:43 AM
"SiNcE wHeN iS sUpErMaN aN iMmIgRaNt?!"
"HeS wOkE nOw!"
The motherfucker always has been. He fought the fucking Klan dude. He is justice and hope made flesh. His little curly hair bit is probably fucking condensed empathy. The man super-pisses truth. You just have no media literacy.
"HeS wOkE nOw!"
The motherfucker always has been. He fought the fucking Klan dude. He is justice and hope made flesh. His little curly hair bit is probably fucking condensed empathy. The man super-pisses truth. You just have no media literacy.
As American as Herpes and Hotdogs.
April 2, 2025 at 7:58 AM
As American as Herpes and Hotdogs.
Jackie Chan not wanting trouble in a broken ladder factory with a mop and bucket could kill God.
February 22, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Jackie Chan not wanting trouble in a broken ladder factory with a mop and bucket could kill God.
"I always dodge these bullets. Like a reverse JFK."
January 28, 2025 at 8:12 AM
"I always dodge these bullets. Like a reverse JFK."
This woman is my everything.
January 23, 2025 at 10:03 PM
This woman is my everything.
Posts that make you say "Me for real"
January 22, 2025 at 5:27 AM
Posts that make you say "Me for real"
True love is when she chokes you back.
January 12, 2025 at 9:33 AM
True love is when she chokes you back.
Home is where the hostage is.
December 15, 2024 at 1:05 AM
Home is where the hostage is.
All I do is sit around and play with useless apps. Life is a bummer sometimes.
*Hits sad trombone app*
*Hits sad trombone app*
December 12, 2024 at 8:11 AM
All I do is sit around and play with useless apps. Life is a bummer sometimes.
*Hits sad trombone app*
*Hits sad trombone app*
A ton of elephants is only 16% on an elephant.
December 4, 2024 at 10:58 AM
A ton of elephants is only 16% on an elephant.
A rolling stone gathers no moss but a spinning ceiling fan gathers dust like a motherfucker.
December 4, 2024 at 10:58 AM
A rolling stone gathers no moss but a spinning ceiling fan gathers dust like a motherfucker.
I am Jack's urge to giggle when the guy hits the propeller in Titanic.
December 3, 2024 at 12:14 AM
I am Jack's urge to giggle when the guy hits the propeller in Titanic.
I got the sick. If I die all of you better ugly cry.
December 1, 2024 at 6:07 PM
I got the sick. If I die all of you better ugly cry.
if you see this post, do it!
pronouns: He/Him
height: 6' 1" (Those are two separate measurements)
shoe size: 13
smoke: No cigs ever and no weed in over a decade
tattoos: Red Lantern symbol on my arm
piercings: 0
fav drink: Cold Brew Coffee
pronouns: He/Him
height: 6' 1" (Those are two separate measurements)
shoe size: 13
smoke: No cigs ever and no weed in over a decade
tattoos: Red Lantern symbol on my arm
piercings: 0
fav drink: Cold Brew Coffee
November 27, 2024 at 5:29 PM
if you see this post, do it!
pronouns: He/Him
height: 6' 1" (Those are two separate measurements)
shoe size: 13
smoke: No cigs ever and no weed in over a decade
tattoos: Red Lantern symbol on my arm
piercings: 0
fav drink: Cold Brew Coffee
pronouns: He/Him
height: 6' 1" (Those are two separate measurements)
shoe size: 13
smoke: No cigs ever and no weed in over a decade
tattoos: Red Lantern symbol on my arm
piercings: 0
fav drink: Cold Brew Coffee
Reposted by Averagematsby
November 23, 2024 at 4:07 AM
I wonder how often my gf thinks about baja blasting my b-hole.
November 22, 2024 at 5:14 AM
I wonder how often my gf thinks about baja blasting my b-hole.
Arbys we have your family.
November 21, 2024 at 11:14 AM
Arbys we have your family.
Reposted by Averagematsby
Name a better qualified doctor than Dr. Oz, we’ll go first:
November 19, 2024 at 10:06 PM
Name a better qualified doctor than Dr. Oz, we’ll go first: