God I am so Waterboy. What’s the girlfailure/boyfailure equivalent for an enby bc I don’t like calling myself a failure.

I’m so good at just being in the present I don’t even feel any accomplishment for what I do. I miss friends and feeling like I would put emphasis on my future aside just to spend time with them.

Break today because brain creating mental blocks. All I know how to do is perform and now idk how to perform for myself. The curse of being a ppl pleasing neurodivergent.

Also noticed new lurker who likes my stuff who is not following me. Hello little lurker!

I have made recent new friends but even then I feel like splits in my identity exist. I don’t even know if I am performing. Wearing different masks and wearing so many hats it’s hard to know my head just hurts.

there’s some truth to me not having any experience with people and not having much confidence in myself and what I love.

I want my friends to also be as constantly driven and inspired as me but it’s probably because I’m unemployed or conserve most of my mental energy for hobbies that I am able to push myself to pursue things.

the environments with these people. Mostly young guys looking to make a buck off a dumb idea or dumb investments or people well beyond what the degree asks of. Meeting friends off an app is nice but I’m getting into the habit of describing a life partner that is just myself well put together.

I probably would have pursued voice acting, film, or animation if I had focused my degree on my career. Does it matter now? I mean I got “skills and knowledge” but in my field of I don’t use it in 1 year the degree is useless (and it kinda alr is now). Idk I learned some skills but hate being in the

- P3R is will probably only get an hour in tonight I have to finish because gifted from sister but ITS SO FUCKING LONG I CANT STAND WHITE WOMAN TELLING ME TO SAVE HUMAN FROM TOWER HOW THE FUCK DID THEY STUMBLE INTO THE 200th FLOOR?!?

-Forgot to count but applied to a fair amount✅
-Stitch small scar on Jevil’s leg ✅
(Now have two chaos jesters but Marx is still the bigger asshole even tho he’s from Kirby)
-Sourced references and set up the framing 🟨
-Miku left my muscles with fatigue so realistically Miku wins but I bike 🟨

Down for it though. My ability to visualize has never been worse but I’m being encouraged to do and try the random artsy shit I’ve always wanted to.

Miku is making me stronger and giving me the motivation to visualize in my mind through the mental torment. Also new friend that was acquainted with old weird friend is really chill and fun company. This feels like a weird plot line.

Also feel claustrophobic and deoxygenated? Is that normal?

Should prolly remove the bottom part so I can stand and have room for my mic stand and laptop

In the closet where I was meant to bee~

Made use of a lot of clips, hooks, and double sided adhesive to not damage things.