Dakota|atokaD
@atokad72.bsky.social
Midwest nice. Blue voter in a red state. Photographer. Chicago Cubs, Green Bay Packers, Notre Dame and Tottenham Hotspur fan.
Posting humorous stuff.
Vinyl record and antique camera collector and enthusiast. Love classic rock and enjoy a good whiskey.
Posting humorous stuff.
Vinyl record and antique camera collector and enthusiast. Love classic rock and enjoy a good whiskey.
Hypothetical beer challenge.
I pay you $100 for every beer you drink between 8am and midnight.
Must be alcoholic beer of your choice and you can do all the normal activities of the day.
Caveat-if you throw up during that time you owe me $100 for every beer consumed.
How many beers can you drink?
I pay you $100 for every beer you drink between 8am and midnight.
Must be alcoholic beer of your choice and you can do all the normal activities of the day.
Caveat-if you throw up during that time you owe me $100 for every beer consumed.
How many beers can you drink?
November 26, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Hypothetical beer challenge.
I pay you $100 for every beer you drink between 8am and midnight.
Must be alcoholic beer of your choice and you can do all the normal activities of the day.
Caveat-if you throw up during that time you owe me $100 for every beer consumed.
How many beers can you drink?
I pay you $100 for every beer you drink between 8am and midnight.
Must be alcoholic beer of your choice and you can do all the normal activities of the day.
Caveat-if you throw up during that time you owe me $100 for every beer consumed.
How many beers can you drink?
A woman was looking for a turkey for thanksgiving but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No” he replied “ they’re dead”.
“No” he replied “ they’re dead”.
November 17, 2025 at 4:25 PM
A woman was looking for a turkey for thanksgiving but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No” he replied “ they’re dead”.
“No” he replied “ they’re dead”.
You've heard of Murphy's Law. It says anything that can go wrong will
But have you heard of Cole's Law?
It's thinly sliced cabbage.
But have you heard of Cole's Law?
It's thinly sliced cabbage.
October 28, 2025 at 2:18 PM
You've heard of Murphy's Law. It says anything that can go wrong will
But have you heard of Cole's Law?
It's thinly sliced cabbage.
But have you heard of Cole's Law?
It's thinly sliced cabbage.
On my last day on my job I'm going to crack open the thermostat on the wall and prove to everyone that it's not hooked up to anything. Just a box with a digital display to make us think we are controlling the temp in the office.
October 20, 2025 at 7:32 PM
On my last day on my job I'm going to crack open the thermostat on the wall and prove to everyone that it's not hooked up to anything. Just a box with a digital display to make us think we are controlling the temp in the office.
I stand with everyone that has taken the whole month off to celebrate Rocktober.
October 19, 2025 at 5:29 PM
I stand with everyone that has taken the whole month off to celebrate Rocktober.
I told my boss I needed a raise. I told him there are three companies after me.
"Which three companies?" He asked.
"Gas, water and electric" I told him.
"Which three companies?" He asked.
"Gas, water and electric" I told him.
October 17, 2025 at 9:25 PM
I told my boss I needed a raise. I told him there are three companies after me.
"Which three companies?" He asked.
"Gas, water and electric" I told him.
"Which three companies?" He asked.
"Gas, water and electric" I told him.
me: The earth isn’t flat
fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it’s shaped like an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it’s shaped like an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
October 8, 2025 at 12:59 AM
me: The earth isn’t flat
fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it’s shaped like an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it’s shaped like an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
Can you explain the gap in your resume?
Yes, that time I was in Yale.
Wow! You’re hired!
Thanks for the yob.
Yes, that time I was in Yale.
Wow! You’re hired!
Thanks for the yob.
September 17, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Can you explain the gap in your resume?
Yes, that time I was in Yale.
Wow! You’re hired!
Thanks for the yob.
Yes, that time I was in Yale.
Wow! You’re hired!
Thanks for the yob.
Anytime I see the same random stranger more than once a day in different places and just assume God is running out of extras in the story of my life.
September 11, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Anytime I see the same random stranger more than once a day in different places and just assume God is running out of extras in the story of my life.
What do you get if a prostitute dies on you?
The second hour for free
The second hour for free
September 1, 2025 at 4:33 PM
What do you get if a prostitute dies on you?
The second hour for free
The second hour for free
My friend isn’t a vegetarian because he loves animals.
He’s a vegetarian because he hates plants.
He’s a vegetarian because he hates plants.
September 1, 2025 at 4:28 AM
My friend isn’t a vegetarian because he loves animals.
He’s a vegetarian because he hates plants.
He’s a vegetarian because he hates plants.
What do dentists call x-rays?
Tooth pics
Tooth pics
August 25, 2025 at 9:24 PM
What do dentists call x-rays?
Tooth pics
Tooth pics
Accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it also cost me a fortune in stamps.
August 22, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it also cost me a fortune in stamps.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough
August 15, 2025 at 3:40 AM
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough
I was the best man at my brother’s wedding in Paris.
At the reception I raised a glass of Champagne and said “Eggs, cinnamon, bread and maple syrup”
It was a French Toast.
At the reception I raised a glass of Champagne and said “Eggs, cinnamon, bread and maple syrup”
It was a French Toast.
August 6, 2025 at 1:41 AM
I was the best man at my brother’s wedding in Paris.
At the reception I raised a glass of Champagne and said “Eggs, cinnamon, bread and maple syrup”
It was a French Toast.
At the reception I raised a glass of Champagne and said “Eggs, cinnamon, bread and maple syrup”
It was a French Toast.
I told the nurse I was bitten by a wolf.
“Where?”, she asked
“No. Regular”
“Where?”, she asked
“No. Regular”
August 4, 2025 at 2:00 AM
I told the nurse I was bitten by a wolf.
“Where?”, she asked
“No. Regular”
“Where?”, she asked
“No. Regular”
If you rearrange all the letters of MAILMEN.
They get really upset.
They get really upset.
August 1, 2025 at 1:39 PM
If you rearrange all the letters of MAILMEN.
They get really upset.
They get really upset.
I love airports because the rules of society don't apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.
July 28, 2025 at 3:09 AM
I love airports because the rules of society don't apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.
The one thing in life I won’t skimp on is good toilet paper.
I would wipe my butt with baby rabbits if it was socially acceptable
I would wipe my butt with baby rabbits if it was socially acceptable
July 20, 2025 at 4:26 PM
The one thing in life I won’t skimp on is good toilet paper.
I would wipe my butt with baby rabbits if it was socially acceptable
I would wipe my butt with baby rabbits if it was socially acceptable
Sometimes people come into your life, and they need to stop doing that.
July 9, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Sometimes people come into your life, and they need to stop doing that.
Why doesn’t the tooth fairy just dig up dead people to get the teeth?
July 4, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Why doesn’t the tooth fairy just dig up dead people to get the teeth?
When I have to fill out a form asking who to call in case of an emergency I always write in ‘an ambulance’ because none of my family and friends are going to answer a call from an unknown number.
June 21, 2025 at 10:00 PM
When I have to fill out a form asking who to call in case of an emergency I always write in ‘an ambulance’ because none of my family and friends are going to answer a call from an unknown number.
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
June 20, 2025 at 4:32 AM
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
I didn’t even realize how broke I was until last year someone stole my identity and it ruined their life.
June 18, 2025 at 10:49 PM
I didn’t even realize how broke I was until last year someone stole my identity and it ruined their life.