Dakota|atokaD
@atokad72.bsky.social
Midwest nice. Blue voter in a red state. Photographer. Chicago Cubs, Green Bay Packers, Notre Dame and Tottenham Hotspur fan.
Posting humorous stuff.
Vinyl record and antique camera collector and enthusiast. Love classic rock and enjoy a good whiskey.
Posting humorous stuff.
Vinyl record and antique camera collector and enthusiast. Love classic rock and enjoy a good whiskey.
Why don’t blind people skydive?
Their dogs hate it.
Their dogs hate it.
February 12, 2026 at 2:49 PM
Why don’t blind people skydive?
Their dogs hate it.
Their dogs hate it.
Do you know why boxers don’t have sex the week before a big fight?
It’s probably because they don’t like each other that much.
It’s probably because they don’t like each other that much.
January 28, 2026 at 3:13 PM
Do you know why boxers don’t have sex the week before a big fight?
It’s probably because they don’t like each other that much.
It’s probably because they don’t like each other that much.
-18 degrees Fahrenheit this morning when I walked out the door. That means if it warms up 50 degrees it will be at the freezing mark.
January 23, 2026 at 3:58 PM
-18 degrees Fahrenheit this morning when I walked out the door. That means if it warms up 50 degrees it will be at the freezing mark.
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
January 14, 2026 at 5:31 PM
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
Denmark renames Greenland ‘Epstein Island’ so that Trump will never talk about it again
January 13, 2026 at 5:09 AM
Denmark renames Greenland ‘Epstein Island’ so that Trump will never talk about it again
At my funeral I want a group of Italian guys to walk up to my coffin in all black suits and say, “rest easy Boss, we got this”.
I want my family to think I had something big going on.
I want my family to think I had something big going on.
January 8, 2026 at 1:27 AM
At my funeral I want a group of Italian guys to walk up to my coffin in all black suits and say, “rest easy Boss, we got this”.
I want my family to think I had something big going on.
I want my family to think I had something big going on.
The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm”
I whispered in the Devil’s ear “I love your eggs”
I whispered in the Devil’s ear “I love your eggs”
December 29, 2025 at 2:57 AM
The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm”
I whispered in the Devil’s ear “I love your eggs”
I whispered in the Devil’s ear “I love your eggs”
My wife called me to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work.
I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.
I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.
December 28, 2025 at 4:51 AM
My wife called me to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work.
I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.
I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.
If your pets are in the room when you are wrapping presents for them do you make them leave so you don’t ruin the surprise?
December 21, 2025 at 10:52 PM
If your pets are in the room when you are wrapping presents for them do you make them leave so you don’t ruin the surprise?
My son has horrible luck on dating sites like Tinder.
I keep encouraging him to go to something more appropriate like Match, EHarmony, Christian Mingle… hell at this point ZipRecruiter .com would be a better fit.
I keep encouraging him to go to something more appropriate like Match, EHarmony, Christian Mingle… hell at this point ZipRecruiter .com would be a better fit.
December 12, 2025 at 8:23 PM
My son has horrible luck on dating sites like Tinder.
I keep encouraging him to go to something more appropriate like Match, EHarmony, Christian Mingle… hell at this point ZipRecruiter .com would be a better fit.
I keep encouraging him to go to something more appropriate like Match, EHarmony, Christian Mingle… hell at this point ZipRecruiter .com would be a better fit.
Pro life tip:
Never walk up to a coworker, look at their outfit and ask “is today the day we are doing the ugly sweater contest ?”.
Never walk up to a coworker, look at their outfit and ask “is today the day we are doing the ugly sweater contest ?”.
December 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Pro life tip:
Never walk up to a coworker, look at their outfit and ask “is today the day we are doing the ugly sweater contest ?”.
Never walk up to a coworker, look at their outfit and ask “is today the day we are doing the ugly sweater contest ?”.
Two nuns are riding their bicycles down a cobblestone road. One looks around and says to the other, “I don't think I've ever come this way before.” The other replies, “Must be the cobblestones.”
December 10, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Two nuns are riding their bicycles down a cobblestone road. One looks around and says to the other, “I don't think I've ever come this way before.” The other replies, “Must be the cobblestones.”
My Roku is still trying to suggest “Two Broke Girls” to me at the top of the homepage. It’s been a year Roku, it’s just not going to happen. I appreciate the persistence but it’s time to move on.
December 4, 2025 at 8:57 PM
My Roku is still trying to suggest “Two Broke Girls” to me at the top of the homepage. It’s been a year Roku, it’s just not going to happen. I appreciate the persistence but it’s time to move on.
I’m less scared of heights than I am of widths.
December 2, 2025 at 11:48 PM
I’m less scared of heights than I am of widths.
I went to the zoo the other day and the only animal there was a dog…
It was a shih tzu.
It was a shih tzu.
December 2, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I went to the zoo the other day and the only animal there was a dog…
It was a shih tzu.
It was a shih tzu.
Hypothetical beer challenge.
I pay you $100 for every beer you drink between 8am and midnight.
Must be alcoholic beer of your choice and you can do all the normal activities of the day.
Caveat-if you throw up during that time you owe me $100 for every beer consumed.
How many beers can you drink?
I pay you $100 for every beer you drink between 8am and midnight.
Must be alcoholic beer of your choice and you can do all the normal activities of the day.
Caveat-if you throw up during that time you owe me $100 for every beer consumed.
How many beers can you drink?
November 26, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Hypothetical beer challenge.
I pay you $100 for every beer you drink between 8am and midnight.
Must be alcoholic beer of your choice and you can do all the normal activities of the day.
Caveat-if you throw up during that time you owe me $100 for every beer consumed.
How many beers can you drink?
I pay you $100 for every beer you drink between 8am and midnight.
Must be alcoholic beer of your choice and you can do all the normal activities of the day.
Caveat-if you throw up during that time you owe me $100 for every beer consumed.
How many beers can you drink?
A woman was looking for a turkey for thanksgiving but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No” he replied “ they’re dead”.
“No” he replied “ they’re dead”.
November 17, 2025 at 4:25 PM
A woman was looking for a turkey for thanksgiving but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No” he replied “ they’re dead”.
“No” he replied “ they’re dead”.
You've heard of Murphy's Law. It says anything that can go wrong will
But have you heard of Cole's Law?
It's thinly sliced cabbage.
But have you heard of Cole's Law?
It's thinly sliced cabbage.
October 28, 2025 at 2:18 PM
You've heard of Murphy's Law. It says anything that can go wrong will
But have you heard of Cole's Law?
It's thinly sliced cabbage.
But have you heard of Cole's Law?
It's thinly sliced cabbage.
On my last day on my job I'm going to crack open the thermostat on the wall and prove to everyone that it's not hooked up to anything. Just a box with a digital display to make us think we are controlling the temp in the office.
October 20, 2025 at 7:32 PM
On my last day on my job I'm going to crack open the thermostat on the wall and prove to everyone that it's not hooked up to anything. Just a box with a digital display to make us think we are controlling the temp in the office.
I stand with everyone that has taken the whole month off to celebrate Rocktober.
October 19, 2025 at 5:29 PM
I stand with everyone that has taken the whole month off to celebrate Rocktober.
I told my boss I needed a raise. I told him there are three companies after me.
"Which three companies?" He asked.
"Gas, water and electric" I told him.
"Which three companies?" He asked.
"Gas, water and electric" I told him.
October 17, 2025 at 9:25 PM
I told my boss I needed a raise. I told him there are three companies after me.
"Which three companies?" He asked.
"Gas, water and electric" I told him.
"Which three companies?" He asked.
"Gas, water and electric" I told him.
me: The earth isn’t flat
fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it’s shaped like an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it’s shaped like an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
October 8, 2025 at 12:59 AM
me: The earth isn’t flat
fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it’s shaped like an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it’s shaped like an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
Can you explain the gap in your resume?
Yes, that time I was in Yale.
Wow! You’re hired!
Thanks for the yob.
Yes, that time I was in Yale.
Wow! You’re hired!
Thanks for the yob.
September 17, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Can you explain the gap in your resume?
Yes, that time I was in Yale.
Wow! You’re hired!
Thanks for the yob.
Yes, that time I was in Yale.
Wow! You’re hired!
Thanks for the yob.
Anytime I see the same random stranger more than once a day in different places and just assume God is running out of extras in the story of my life.
September 11, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Anytime I see the same random stranger more than once a day in different places and just assume God is running out of extras in the story of my life.