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Astrology Media
@astrohoelic.bsky.social
Astrology is the language of time, energy, and consciousness—mapping cycles of growth, fate, and self-awareness. To know the stars is to know the self.
“An Aries won’t read the instructions, they’ll just break something and blame the manufacturer.”

“Aries will ruin their own life and still have the audacity to act shocked when the consequences hit.”

*“The reason Aries is always moving so fast is because their self-awareness hasn’t caught up yet.”
February 21, 2025 at 10:52 AM
♈ Aries

“Aries doesn’t ‘take a break,’ they just crash, burn, and act surprised when they wake up in a pile of rubble.”
February 21, 2025 at 10:47 AM
You ever just sit back and think, ‘Wow, I’m someone’s villain origin story?
February 21, 2025 at 10:42 AM
Reposted by Astrology Media
On the days I am about to give up, this Gwendolyn Brooks poem gives me an anchor.
February 9, 2025 at 11:13 PM
If a Scorpio ever whispers ‘don’t worry about it,’ you are currently a loose end.
February 6, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Libras will be fighting for their life in a toxic relationship but still be like ‘but the vibe is so good.’
February 6, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Taurus placements don’t ‘like’ food, they form emotional attachments to it.
February 6, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Aquarius energy is explaining the entire universe in response to ‘how’s your day?’
February 6, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Pisces placements don’t ‘daydream,’ they enter a spiritual realm.
February 6, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Capricorn placements don’t ‘take breaks,’ they just power down temporarily.
February 6, 2025 at 12:49 PM
If an Aries ever says ‘watch this,’ DO NOT WATCH.
February 6, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Geminis aren’t ‘indecisive,’ they just have too many parallel timelines to choose from.
February 6, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Leo moons don’t ‘apologize,’ they just do something cool and hope you forget.
February 6, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Scorpio risings aren’t ‘mysterious,’ they are just running on classified information.
February 6, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Libras don’t ‘fall in love,’ they get assigned a soulmate by the algorithm.
February 6, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Leo placements don’t have ‘exes,’ they have former peasants.
February 6, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Taurus placements are just NPCs programmed to find the best snacks.
February 6, 2025 at 12:48 PM
If you walk into a room and there’s only Pisces placements, you have entered a government experiment.
February 6, 2025 at 12:48 PM
You’ve never met a fully domesticated Gemini. They are all feral.
February 6, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Capricorns were not ‘born,’ they were constructed in a corporate lab.
February 6, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Why do Virgo risings always know exactly where the hidden cameras are?
February 6, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Every Sagittarius has a secret double life they aren’t telling you about.
February 6, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Aquarius placements are not real. They were planted here by the CIA to study human behavior.
February 6, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Capricorn placements don’t ‘quit,’ they just rebrand their suffering.
February 6, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Gemini risings look like they’re actively shape-shifting into a different timeline.
February 6, 2025 at 12:46 PM