Artificial Flavor
@artificialflavor.bsky.social
Follow if you don’t want crumbs in your bed forever
Cannon childhood event: having hot sweats and looking pleadingly into your parents eyes while a middle aged server who smells like cigarettes gives you the third degree about how you want your eggs.
April 11, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Cannon childhood event: having hot sweats and looking pleadingly into your parents eyes while a middle aged server who smells like cigarettes gives you the third degree about how you want your eggs.
Reporting live from Duke UNC today. Shout out to the Greeks for inventing sports, this shit is lit
February 1, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Reporting live from Duke UNC today. Shout out to the Greeks for inventing sports, this shit is lit
We hired an archivist and apparently they are already trying to rationalize their salary. Anyway, here’s another from the archive:
February 1, 2025 at 12:20 AM
We hired an archivist and apparently they are already trying to rationalize their salary. Anyway, here’s another from the archive:
Being 29 has all the downsides of being 30 without the perk of sitting w/ my balding friends at a picnic table of a brewery w/ a gear in its name/logo and saying with satisfaction between sips of our IPAs “man these guys in their twenties think they know everything”. I mean damn, I wanna commiserate
February 1, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Being 29 has all the downsides of being 30 without the perk of sitting w/ my balding friends at a picnic table of a brewery w/ a gear in its name/logo and saying with satisfaction between sips of our IPAs “man these guys in their twenties think they know everything”. I mean damn, I wanna commiserate
Somedays I feel like the small weed, forcing my way towards sunlight through the cracks of concrete in the sidewalk.
Other days I’m the sidewalk, strong, resolute, and absolutely squashing those puny weeds.
Ask yourself, which will you be today?
#motivational #artificialflavor
Other days I’m the sidewalk, strong, resolute, and absolutely squashing those puny weeds.
Ask yourself, which will you be today?
#motivational #artificialflavor
February 1, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Somedays I feel like the small weed, forcing my way towards sunlight through the cracks of concrete in the sidewalk.
Other days I’m the sidewalk, strong, resolute, and absolutely squashing those puny weeds.
Ask yourself, which will you be today?
#motivational #artificialflavor
Other days I’m the sidewalk, strong, resolute, and absolutely squashing those puny weeds.
Ask yourself, which will you be today?
#motivational #artificialflavor
Has anyone ever met a Jiminy they didn’t like?? Except for that one overbearing, self-righteous cricket of course
January 31, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Has anyone ever met a Jiminy they didn’t like?? Except for that one overbearing, self-righteous cricket of course
Leaving my 3 pound dumbbells strewn down the hall like an extremely toned Hansel who doesn’t want to get too bulky
#funny #artificialflavor
#funny #artificialflavor
January 31, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Leaving my 3 pound dumbbells strewn down the hall like an extremely toned Hansel who doesn’t want to get too bulky
#funny #artificialflavor
#funny #artificialflavor
It’s Snowing in Florida sounds like a Jimmy Buffet song..
But it’s actually the death throes of a planet
But it’s actually the death throes of a planet
January 31, 2025 at 9:59 PM
It’s Snowing in Florida sounds like a Jimmy Buffet song..
But it’s actually the death throes of a planet
But it’s actually the death throes of a planet
AI is scarier than chicken run
January 31, 2025 at 9:57 PM
AI is scarier than chicken run
Step fathers and pinky rings give the same energy
January 31, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Step fathers and pinky rings give the same energy
“..they taught was that no one was ridiculous or bad or disgusting. Shortly before my father died, he said to me, 'You know – you never wrote a story with a villain in it.' I told him that was one of the things I learned in college after the war.” -Vonnegut
Still ring true? Discuss below
Still ring true? Discuss below
January 31, 2025 at 9:55 PM
“..they taught was that no one was ridiculous or bad or disgusting. Shortly before my father died, he said to me, 'You know – you never wrote a story with a villain in it.' I told him that was one of the things I learned in college after the war.” -Vonnegut
Still ring true? Discuss below
Still ring true? Discuss below
Naming paint colors sounds like the easiest job on earth until this color comes across your desk and you’ve already used eggshell
January 31, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Naming paint colors sounds like the easiest job on earth until this color comes across your desk and you’ve already used eggshell
Crowdwork comedy always reminds me of the kid who clearly didn’t do their homework and now, in desperation, is just making a scene until the class ends
January 31, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Crowdwork comedy always reminds me of the kid who clearly didn’t do their homework and now, in desperation, is just making a scene until the class ends
Me kneeling in front my dentist in full armored plate regalia
Her: umm, it’s a crown…for your tooth
So all that pillaging, stabbing and general mucking about was for nothing?
Her: well did you make any friends along the way?
Me: *blushing* I guess
#funny #artificialflavor
Her: umm, it’s a crown…for your tooth
So all that pillaging, stabbing and general mucking about was for nothing?
Her: well did you make any friends along the way?
Me: *blushing* I guess
#funny #artificialflavor
January 31, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Me kneeling in front my dentist in full armored plate regalia
Her: umm, it’s a crown…for your tooth
So all that pillaging, stabbing and general mucking about was for nothing?
Her: well did you make any friends along the way?
Me: *blushing* I guess
#funny #artificialflavor
Her: umm, it’s a crown…for your tooth
So all that pillaging, stabbing and general mucking about was for nothing?
Her: well did you make any friends along the way?
Me: *blushing* I guess
#funny #artificialflavor
Remember when that old ugly guy told us his clothes weren’t for young ugly people, well now those clothes are for white zillenials and boy do we like them
#abercrombieandfitch
#abercrombieandfilth
#abercrombieandfitch
#abercrombieandfilth
January 31, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Remember when that old ugly guy told us his clothes weren’t for young ugly people, well now those clothes are for white zillenials and boy do we like them
#abercrombieandfitch
#abercrombieandfilth
#abercrombieandfitch
#abercrombieandfilth
*glass smash*
Fellow with a mask starts rooting thru my glovebox
Me sleeping in the trunk: if you find anything good in there let me know
*I look directly at the camera as the Seinfeld theme plays*
Fellow with a mask starts rooting thru my glovebox
Me sleeping in the trunk: if you find anything good in there let me know
*I look directly at the camera as the Seinfeld theme plays*
January 31, 2025 at 9:27 PM
*glass smash*
Fellow with a mask starts rooting thru my glovebox
Me sleeping in the trunk: if you find anything good in there let me know
*I look directly at the camera as the Seinfeld theme plays*
Fellow with a mask starts rooting thru my glovebox
Me sleeping in the trunk: if you find anything good in there let me know
*I look directly at the camera as the Seinfeld theme plays*
It’s 2025 and we’re still drinking out of mold incubators, what happened to us
January 31, 2025 at 9:22 PM
It’s 2025 and we’re still drinking out of mold incubators, what happened to us
Me in a wizards hat, casting mending: I got a 14, what does that get me.
(I look up at the divorce attorney with tears in my eyes, pleading)
Him: *shrugs, exasperated* you fix the gnome’s shield, I guess
*I play it cool with a fist pump outside the view of the zoom camera*
(I look up at the divorce attorney with tears in my eyes, pleading)
Him: *shrugs, exasperated* you fix the gnome’s shield, I guess
*I play it cool with a fist pump outside the view of the zoom camera*
January 31, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Me in a wizards hat, casting mending: I got a 14, what does that get me.
(I look up at the divorce attorney with tears in my eyes, pleading)
Him: *shrugs, exasperated* you fix the gnome’s shield, I guess
*I play it cool with a fist pump outside the view of the zoom camera*
(I look up at the divorce attorney with tears in my eyes, pleading)
Him: *shrugs, exasperated* you fix the gnome’s shield, I guess
*I play it cool with a fist pump outside the view of the zoom camera*
Alright so it’s settled, everyone happy with their surfer club names?
Hang ten: totally rad dude
Hang loose: unreal
Hang nail: I told you, my podiatrist told me to let it breathe, the salt water’s good for it
Hang ten: totally rad dude
Hang loose: unreal
Hang nail: I told you, my podiatrist told me to let it breathe, the salt water’s good for it
January 31, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Alright so it’s settled, everyone happy with their surfer club names?
Hang ten: totally rad dude
Hang loose: unreal
Hang nail: I told you, my podiatrist told me to let it breathe, the salt water’s good for it
Hang ten: totally rad dude
Hang loose: unreal
Hang nail: I told you, my podiatrist told me to let it breathe, the salt water’s good for it
Chicken run was scary
January 31, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Chicken run was scary
Shit I thought you said “hop in, we’re going to GET GOONED”
Buzz Aldrin
Buzz Aldrin
January 31, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Shit I thought you said “hop in, we’re going to GET GOONED”
Buzz Aldrin
Buzz Aldrin
Our guest: “Man it’s crazy, house cats are really like little lions in your house”
Me, looking right at my cat, knowing I have semantics on my side “Idk, they’re kinda pussies”
Me, looking right at my cat, knowing I have semantics on my side “Idk, they’re kinda pussies”
January 31, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Our guest: “Man it’s crazy, house cats are really like little lions in your house”
Me, looking right at my cat, knowing I have semantics on my side “Idk, they’re kinda pussies”
Me, looking right at my cat, knowing I have semantics on my side “Idk, they’re kinda pussies”
“Aaaaand…is this your card?!”
- me, sweating, really f**king up my first day as a bartender
- me, sweating, really f**king up my first day as a bartender
January 31, 2025 at 8:45 PM
“Aaaaand…is this your card?!”
- me, sweating, really f**king up my first day as a bartender
- me, sweating, really f**king up my first day as a bartender
Remember this one guys:
January 31, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Remember this one guys:
Dam, Gitmo is really going from a weird little insert about Habeas Corpus to a whole weird half page discussion of the perpetuation of internment camps into modernity in future textbooks. Gotta feel a little bad for those students.
Think of the kids Trumpy!
Think of the kids Trumpy!
January 31, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Dam, Gitmo is really going from a weird little insert about Habeas Corpus to a whole weird half page discussion of the perpetuation of internment camps into modernity in future textbooks. Gotta feel a little bad for those students.
Think of the kids Trumpy!
Think of the kids Trumpy!