I'm only surprised he's not wearing the Club World Cup winner's medal he won with Chelsea last year.

How the fuck can 14% of people be 'neutral' about Marmite?

Forget all the political divisions that have haunted this country over the past 9 years - these are the bastards we need to be hunting down.

Always feel KSR books need a damn good edit. He does so much research and can't bear to leave any of it out. One minute you're reading a cracking skiffy story, the next you're an observer at an economics conference. Still read the whole trilogy several times though...

For me it's not just that it's artless, but that it's joyless. Always feels like she resented every keystroke.

At least Adrian Chiles is shagging the editor so we know why he's still got a job, but the continued presence of Woe Zilliams is one of the great WTFs of the Grauniad.

<makes a note>

Now, now. He might not have actually been looking at gay pron. It might have just been a load of Andrew Tate videos where he explains why handjobs off your male mates are uber-straight.

He's packed a lot of thickness into a very small frame.

That is fucking hilarious.

Fuck me. Was he cosplaying as a 12 year old?

We had those in Brum University library back in the late 80s/early 90s. They were great, and not simply because an assiduously placed fart could hit four floors at once. Allegedly.

There are manufacturer's instructions?

Where the fuck is your militia? Cos this looks like your 'free state' is insecure as fucking hell.