ArmchairHuman
@armchairhuman.bsky.social
Just a normal human, no chairs here!
Pinned
ArmchairHuman
@armchairhuman.bsky.social
· Mar 17
If you can’t do the bed time, don’t do the bed crime
Rhubarb is just desert celery
May 2, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Rhubarb is just desert celery
Wednesday is the armpit of the week.
April 9, 2025 at 8:11 AM
Wednesday is the armpit of the week.
“They did a study” - Common, uneducated, boorish
“If you read the literature” - makes you sound like you read, person unspecific, will 100% stop anyone talking to you
“If you read the literature” - makes you sound like you read, person unspecific, will 100% stop anyone talking to you
March 20, 2025 at 3:03 PM
“They did a study” - Common, uneducated, boorish
“If you read the literature” - makes you sound like you read, person unspecific, will 100% stop anyone talking to you
“If you read the literature” - makes you sound like you read, person unspecific, will 100% stop anyone talking to you
Can’t believe it’s 2157 and I’m STILL the only one who’s figured out time travel 🤦♀️
March 19, 2025 at 10:47 AM
Can’t believe it’s 2157 and I’m STILL the only one who’s figured out time travel 🤦♀️
Just did Manuel Handling training. I am now equipped to deal with Manuel’s challenging office persona.
March 19, 2025 at 9:21 AM
Just did Manuel Handling training. I am now equipped to deal with Manuel’s challenging office persona.
I’m a very sensitive guy but for the first hour after waking up I’m am oblivious to nearly all external stimulus that doesn’t involve mainlining caffeine.
March 18, 2025 at 10:22 PM
I’m a very sensitive guy but for the first hour after waking up I’m am oblivious to nearly all external stimulus that doesn’t involve mainlining caffeine.
If you can’t do the bed time, don’t do the bed crime
March 17, 2025 at 9:55 PM
If you can’t do the bed time, don’t do the bed crime
I’ve watched so many caving tragedy videos that I’m starting to think wedging yourself into a gap by exhaling twenty meters into a mountain and descending three meters upside down into a muddy pool in 5 degrees c without appropriate clothing or air supply is a bad idea.
March 16, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I’ve watched so many caving tragedy videos that I’m starting to think wedging yourself into a gap by exhaling twenty meters into a mountain and descending three meters upside down into a muddy pool in 5 degrees c without appropriate clothing or air supply is a bad idea.
The number of oranges you can fit in your mouth is dependent on:
a) Your level of commitment
b) Whether or not you are a hippo
a) Your level of commitment
b) Whether or not you are a hippo
March 15, 2025 at 8:52 AM
The number of oranges you can fit in your mouth is dependent on:
a) Your level of commitment
b) Whether or not you are a hippo
a) Your level of commitment
b) Whether or not you are a hippo
Egg is the superior form of chocolate.
March 14, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Egg is the superior form of chocolate.
The elders have come and destroyed the building. I fear they have found the basement door.
March 14, 2025 at 8:36 PM
The elders have come and destroyed the building. I fear they have found the basement door.
People say money can’t buy happiness but you can literally buy a fuckin’ dog
March 13, 2025 at 9:20 PM
People say money can’t buy happiness but you can literally buy a fuckin’ dog
[optimistic future] I will own a house and live comfortably.
[current future] My radioactive bones are making fissile compounds with the microplastics in my blood.
[current future] My radioactive bones are making fissile compounds with the microplastics in my blood.
March 13, 2025 at 3:49 PM
[optimistic future] I will own a house and live comfortably.
[current future] My radioactive bones are making fissile compounds with the microplastics in my blood.
[current future] My radioactive bones are making fissile compounds with the microplastics in my blood.
I regularly engage in human activities, such as consuming organic matter, perambulating, and bilabial communication.
March 11, 2025 at 10:40 AM
I regularly engage in human activities, such as consuming organic matter, perambulating, and bilabial communication.
being the best at everything is easy when you get to define the word best
March 10, 2025 at 9:37 AM
being the best at everything is easy when you get to define the word best
Reposted by ArmchairHuman
chicken: (learning that the price of it’s eggs were the downfall of humanity) bok bok bok
March 7, 2025 at 1:52 PM
chicken: (learning that the price of it’s eggs were the downfall of humanity) bok bok bok
Earth is actually just a cringe harvesting scheme by aliens
March 6, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Earth is actually just a cringe harvesting scheme by aliens
YouTubers forget the biggest advantage of a VPN is making it look like you’re globetrotting and not sitting in the same apartment for 364 days of the year.
March 6, 2025 at 11:12 AM
YouTubers forget the biggest advantage of a VPN is making it look like you’re globetrotting and not sitting in the same apartment for 364 days of the year.
How did they decide when to stop elongating the spaghetti??? There’s a universe out there where it’s just one big noodle and I cry myself to sleep every night wishing I was there
March 6, 2025 at 11:10 AM
How did they decide when to stop elongating the spaghetti??? There’s a universe out there where it’s just one big noodle and I cry myself to sleep every night wishing I was there
Reposted by ArmchairHuman
finally learned what mukbang videos are
you freaks are disgusting
they're not even fucking the muk
you freaks are disgusting
they're not even fucking the muk
March 3, 2025 at 10:07 PM
finally learned what mukbang videos are
you freaks are disgusting
they're not even fucking the muk
you freaks are disgusting
they're not even fucking the muk
Calling toilet water “piss bisque” until my wife leaves me (again)
March 3, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Calling toilet water “piss bisque” until my wife leaves me (again)
Please consider becoming a chair; it’s not so bad and let’s face it you’re mostly sitting anyway.
March 3, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Please consider becoming a chair; it’s not so bad and let’s face it you’re mostly sitting anyway.
The Chicken Finder. A reality TV show where a dude goes around locating chickens.
March 3, 2025 at 9:12 AM
The Chicken Finder. A reality TV show where a dude goes around locating chickens.
There are 482 videos in my watch later playlist that I’m definitely 100% going to watch
March 2, 2025 at 8:18 PM
There are 482 videos in my watch later playlist that I’m definitely 100% going to watch