Aristoph
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aristoph.bsky.social
Aristoph
@aristoph.bsky.social
440 followers 1K following 350 posts
I am Alaska-grown meat. (It’s almost summer. It was probably a 4.2.) Naps and grilled cheese are on my family’s coat of arms. I show my love through food and spreadsheets. She/her.
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aristoph.bsky.social
Tariffs be damned, my @taskmaster.tv Advent Calendar arrived!
Taskmaster: The Advent Calendar box. “24 days, 24 doors, 1 Taskmaster Christmas Game.” Picture includes Taskmaster Greg Davies sitting imperiously on a throne with his fingers peaked, wearing a paper crown. His assistant, Little Alex Horne, is crouched expectantly on a chair on the other side to make him look smaller, same fingers and paper crown.
December 1, 2025 at 12:39 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
You just died.

The 6th picture in your phone gallery is what killed you.
Toasted goat cheese salad. A triangle of goat cheese has been lightly toasted so that it is warm and gooey. It is lying atop a bed of arugula, diced apples, and blueberries, drizzled with balsamic glaze and pickled red onions. The fact that I took this after the first bite suggests that the cheese took me down. Worth it.
November 27, 2025 at 3:54 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
Halloween flick #9, Cocaine Bear, with @garyseven.bsky.social. Absurdity has been good self care this year, and this was a welcome inclusion.
Cocaine Bear movie poster. Mostly black and white, the bear is outlined in an action pose, covered in cocaine flying off it like a dog shaking off water after a bath. Maybe about to coke-sneeze? Tagline: Get in line February 24. It claims it was inspired by true events, but friends? Only very gently so.
November 1, 2025 at 6:34 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
Earthquake! Felt like a good jiggle but it just kept going.
#akearthquake
Earthquake report: 5.8 on the Richter scale but not too close.
October 30, 2025 at 5:38 PM
aristoph.bsky.social
Halloween flick #8, Jaws, with @garyseven.bsky.social. Seeing this 50th anniversary edition in the theatre with a crowd to cheer at lines like “You’re gonna need a bigger boat” was pretty awesome.
Jaws 50th anniversary movie poster. An enormous great white shark is framed in the ocean with many teeth, with a white woman at the top swimming. She is blissfully unaware of her peril. Tagline: “You’re gonna need a bigger screen,” a play on the big movie line to bring the kiddies in to spend 2025 dollars. My favorite still of the movie. Three middle aged white men (mayor, police chief, and shark expert) are framed in an argument with an “Amity Island Welcomes You!” billboard in the background, fueling their disagreement. It shows a woman paddling at sea with the sun and a sailboat. It has been delightfully defaced to add a shark fin by her foot and a speech bubble that says “Help!! Shark!”
October 30, 2025 at 4:44 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
Halloween flick #7, The Monkey, with @garyseven.bsky.social. What a fun gore fest with a side exploration of grief and shared custody.
“The Monkey” movie poster. Extreme closeup of a monkey with a cymbal toy (don’t call it a toy) that is darkly, spookily lit. Tagline: “Everybody dies. And that’s fucked up.” And it totally is, y’all.
October 28, 2025 at 5:35 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
Halloween flick #6, Ready or Not. Something satisfying about a woman fighting back against billionaires that consider her life an expendable game, and some excellent gore and laughs. I also enjoyed watching her wedding dress slowly evolve as the night progressed.
Ready or Not movie poster. A white woman in a wedding dress is midway through the transition from a normal wedding day to a night on the run. Part of the bottom half is torn off and she has switched to yellow chucks and gotten pretty dirty. She is holding a bouquet and strapped with ammo across her torso. The wedding dress looks totally different. The same woman in covered in blood and her hair is bedraggled and one of the arms is missing from the dress. Oh and her face and body are covered in so much blood that the white dress looks brown. There is blood in the curtains behind her too.
October 19, 2025 at 9:01 PM
aristoph.bsky.social
Halloween flick #5, Drop, this one with @garyseven.bsky.social. Toss up for the best lines: “Yahtzee.” Or “My horoscope was right.”
Drop movie poster. Tagline “Everyone’s a suspect.” Extreme closeup of a worried woman peering over the edge of a phone as she’s trying to figure out who’s sending all these damned threatening drop messages. (Change your settings to contacts only people! )
October 16, 2025 at 5:21 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
Halloween flick #4 (gonna be a low year), The Dark Crystal. I dig these retro movies on the big screen, and it was interesting to see it was adult eyes. Some really scary visuals for a kid, and some amazingly creative world building at the edges.
Dark Crystal movie poster. “Another World, Another Time...In the Age of Wonder.” There are robed vulture-like creatures, the wee humanoid main characters, a fuzzball named Fizzgig (see next), and other supporting characters. Fizzgig, best character of the movie. Kind of a more animated tribble? Incredibly furry puffball with big yellow eyes and an expressive mouth and feet but no legs. You don’t see it in this picture but I want you to know that his mouth basically flops all the way open, and he has another row of teeth at the back of his throat. He yells a lot. One of the vulture-like bad guys is all bony and pointy and teeth and frankly kind of scary to me in my mid-40s. See? Scary for a kid.
October 13, 2025 at 2:19 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
When confronted with an empty toner cartridge, I am reminded of my high school ASVAB test. Amidst overall great scores, my spatial/mechanical scores were in the ~30th percentile. I remember thinking “how would you even know that?” in that section.

But today, today? I defeated that effing copier.
Step 2 of 7 in the process of replacing the cyan cartridge. This interface has a step-by-step process with pictures and text, so I can read words and also flip the cartridge back and forth as I compare it to the picture to try and decide if I have done it right.
October 7, 2025 at 2:53 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
Halloween flick #3, Brick (2025). I’ve been meaning to watch this one. I realized early on that it was basically Cube with less gore and math.
Brick (2025) movie poster. The German one on Netflix. A couple is standing by a wall of black bricks looking worried. There is a gap knocked out at head/torso height to reveal another concerned looking couple. They should work together to solve this problem!
October 5, 2025 at 6:36 PM
aristoph.bsky.social
Halloween flick #2, Host (2020). I love a tight 90, and this was an economical 56 using a seance the length of a free Zoom call. Shot on Zoom with iPhones in mid-2020, it used the context and era without being *about* COVID or loss directly. Satisfyingly creepy.
Host poster. Tagline “Someone has joined the meeting.” A crying woman with bright eyes is staring at a screen in the dark at the top, and a different woman is crying and hiding under white covering on the bottom. The movie takes place during a Zoom call, and the design features visual cues like this “this free meeting has ended.” This shot also reveals the movie took place in July 2020, and the credits looked like a participant list. (I don’t feel this pic is a spoiler because it doesn’t tell you how the plot worked or anyone’s fate.)
September 28, 2025 at 5:53 PM
aristoph.bsky.social
Kicking off the Halloween flicks early with a 28 Days Later rewatch with @garyseven.bsky.social.

(#1, let’s see how it goes this year.)
28 Days Later poster with biohazard symbol. “DAY 1: EXPOSURE DAY 3 :INFECTION DAY 8: EPIDEMIC DAY 15: EVACUATION DAY 20: DEVASTATION Favorite moment of the movie, graffiti that says “REPENT. THE END IS EXTREMELY FUCKING NIGH.”
September 28, 2025 at 5:52 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
Wrapping up the long weekend decluttering with @garyseven.bsky.social. Found this box of shameful evidence of how I expressed myself in middle school, wearing these pieces of flare on an embarrassingly regular basis.
A jumbled box of brightly colored buttons with cutesy text. Samples: “Imagine how much we could get accomplished if the president was a homeless black woman with AIDS.” “We the unwilling, lead by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.” (Weird gripe from a tween.) “Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.” And a frog in a stereotypical witch’s hat that says “Practice safe hex.”
May 27, 2025 at 2:03 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
Reading in bed: “Was that you or an earthquake?”
@garyseven.bsky.social: “If that wasn’t *you*, it was an earthquake.”
Screenshot of an earthquake alert with epicenter in Susitna, Alaska (Southcentral).“4.20 Richter Scale - Noticeable shaking of indoor objects.”
February 5, 2025 at 8:18 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
My first two books this year were Dead Moon by @peterclines.bsky.social and Orbital by Samantha Harvey. Both space novels but tonal opposites.

Dead Moon scratched my adventure itch with moon zombies; Orbital was a gorgeous love letter to Earth on the ISS where (comparatively) nothing happened.
Book cover for Dead Moon by Peter Clines. There is a moon base in the foreground with shimmering light and weapons. Earth lingers in the back among the stars. Quotation: "AN ADRENALINE RUSH OF CLAUSTROPHOBIC TERROR AND BLINDSIDING TWISTS." #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR WESLEY CHU Cover for Orbital by Samantha Harvey. Sticker noting it won the Booker Prize in 2024. Review quotations: "Ravishingly beautiful. - NEW YORK TIMES *Harvey makes an ecstatic voyage... and looks back to Earth with a lover's eye." - THE GUARDIAN
January 21, 2025 at 8:15 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
For a little bit of self care, I took a drive at lunch to a lake near campus and finished the “Crash Course: The Universe” podcast. You’d think “How It All Ends” would be bleak, but it was just what I needed. Thanks, John Green and @astrokatie.com.
Crash Course The Universe podcast episode 11: How It All Ends Spoilers. The bit near the end that really got me today: “We can see tiny particles that make us up, and we can see ourselves as tiny particles in a vast universe. What a gift to be here for and with each other. What a gift to begin to fathom the universe in which we find ourselves. Maybe there won't be a memory of us in the long, long run. Maybe there won't be a memory of our universe at all. But to me, there's something wildly beautiful about the fact that while we cannot live forever, and while our universe probably won't be forever, we can still engage with and imagine the infinite. It's easy to grieve for the loss of us, the loss of our planet, our solar system, our galaxy. And I don't blame myself for feeling that grief. It's hard not to feel sad knowing all of this will end. But not yet, not yet. Thanks for coming on this journey with us. Thanks for being a co-discoverer of the universe.”
November 8, 2024 at 10:32 PM
aristoph.bsky.social
Look I’m already really stressed about Election Day, winter, can you just take a ticket and come back another day? Now I’m worried people won’t be able to get out to vote. Thank goodness for early voting.
National Weather Service weather warning for Southcetral Alaska. High wind warning Tuesday morning Anchorage, Portage, and Turnagain; Blizzard warning Thompson Pass Tuesday most of the day; winter storm warning Turnagain Pass and Summit Lake
November 4, 2024 at 8:42 PM
aristoph.bsky.social
“Young Frankenstein,” the source of so many of @garyseven.bsky.social’s movie references and a great showcase for Teri Garr. #Halloween
Young Frankenstein movie poster. A castle at the top of a hill being stuck by lightning. Before it, the faces of a screaming, disheveled mad scientist and a dapper Frankenstein’s monster with bow tie and top hat. What’s that henchman doing at the bottom? Tucking an arm back into a wagon in the night? Seems suspicious.
November 1, 2024 at 5:34 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
“Cube 2,” and this series is strangely a comfort watch to return to. Less creatively gory than the first one, but the additional dimension allows for some different story beats. (No spoilers, but another flick upthread had an unexpected Cube link.) #Halloween
Movie poster for “Cube 2: Hypercube,” tagline “There is more to fear than you can see.” Blue tinged close-up of an eye with a bunch of squares with faces looking alarmed or scared.
October 27, 2024 at 10:56 PM
aristoph.bsky.social
“It’s What’s Inside” with @garyseven.bsky.social. I wanted a chart to track all the swaps, but I enjoyed it! Much less death than I expected. #Halloween
“It’s What’s Inside” movie poster. A glowing suitcase is opening to reveal 8 attractive young adults who look curious and/or unnerved. Forbes has wires and is controlling things.
October 27, 2024 at 5:52 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
Woo! I voted, so I can share my traditional “I voted” moose gif again, designed by Alaska’s own Pat Race.

We have awesome “I voted” stickers this year. I got this kickass Alaska Native version. @garyseven.bsky.social says there’s several languages and designs.

Wake me when it’s done.
Cartoon moose in a flannel and ballcap proudly holding up and “I voted” sign that’s as big as its head. Designed by Pat Race, website is just the name dot com. Alaska voter sticker with “I voted!” in English and translated into Yup’ik and Taglog featuring Alaska Native art at the center. The design makes me think of Southeast Alaska art with a squatting creature with open arms and legs.
October 26, 2024 at 10:29 PM
aristoph.bsky.social
“Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” with @garyseven.bsky.social, building on a nostalgic classic. Fun, not too challenging, plenty of costume ideas. #Halloween
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice movie poster. The mother and daughter are on top of the house with Beetlejuice, along with Lydia’s teen daughter. Cool creatures are back like Bob with a yellow suit and shrunken head, and an enormous striped snake with a second head and teeth inside the first.
October 21, 2024 at 5:29 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
“Skinamarink,” which in spite of its runtime was nowhere near a tight 90. Not the best for my headspace. #Halloween
“Skinamarink” movie poster. A scratchy photo of a dark room with a door. A small boy is sitting on the ceiling, facing away and toward the door. Pretty creepy.
October 18, 2024 at 5:27 AM
aristoph.bsky.social
“Murdered by Death” with @garyseven.bsky.social, an older #Halloween flick I learned of with Maggie Smith’s death. Another tight 90 with a Clue vibe.

(The Sellars character/casting was weird today, but seemed tongue-in-cheek?)
Murder by Death movie poster. Tagline: “By the time the world’s greatest detectives figure out whodunnit… you could die laughing!”
October 13, 2024 at 5:25 AM