I'm such a good witch even my thinking is magical.

Ugh, sometimes being pan is such a burden. I wish I could appreciate someone's brain without wanting to bang them 🙄😏

Okay but why, when I typed "thank you for the" did autocomplete suggest "mammogram"?

Quote of the Day (not mine): you visit the butthole you don't live in the butthole.

I've reached the stage of my life where there's nobody left in my circle but top notch weirdos and honestly the company is so so good

The smolder looked a little different in the 90s.

Holy shit you always wonder how you're going to react in an emergency despite having taken Emergency First Aid like 17 times. The good news is that I, and everyone else in my office of first responders, went running to help. The guy's ok, too.

Of course I'm awake 1.5h before my alarm with only 3% battery left to get me there. But the kittens are purring so there's that 😻

I blame and credit both my father and my husband for my sense of humour. I'm sorry and you're welcome.