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aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
École des Bro-Arts
@aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
580 followers 62 following 1.1K posts
Switchy leatherman into bad puns, thick boys, and distributed systems. Purveyor of fine jockstrap selfies. Woof.group admin.

Jim Starkey: "Of interest only to third-rate […]

🌉 bridged from ⁂ https://woof.group/@aphyr, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact
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aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
be trans, do governance
A Mamdani poster saying they raised $1M for the mayor-elect's transition fund
November 16, 2025 at 3:11 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
I've been hacking on a new visualization for database operations in Jepsen tests this week: https://aphyr.com/posts/399-op-color-plots
A timeseries plot showing writes to a queue based on whether they were read OK, lost, or unknown.
November 14, 2025 at 9:23 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Joining the Indivisible Spotify boycott today, to try and convince them to drop ads for ICE. This one is painful--I use Spotify constantly, and have been a subscriber for a decade. I've got a huge investment in playlists there, and they're one of the few services […]

[Original post on woof.group]
My cancellation message to Spotify, citing ICE and CBP brutality in my city.
October 29, 2025 at 4:08 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Oh man, this was probably my earliest full-length talk. My 2009 undergrad thesis, on the Casimir effect. If you ever wanted to learn about zero-point energy and how to subtract infinity from infinity, the slides might be a fun read: https://aphyr.com/media/comps-presentation.pdf
Some photons on a soccer field--the "electromagnetic field" The photons are sucked up by a vacuum cleaner A green light photon can lift a packing peanut about 10^-17 meters Even if you could build the half-life "gravity" gun using Casimir forces, it'd most likely only be useful for launching small molecules at viruses
October 27, 2025 at 4:44 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Pat Helland as Varys and Peter Bailis as Petyr Baelish
October 27, 2025 at 4:21 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
babe wake up. it's 2002 and I just put fluxbox on your thinkpad. we're gonna play jedi knight 2 tonight but first I need to borrow your external CD-RW to burn copies for everyone
A screenshot of a Linux desktop running Fluxbox, gkrellm2, and xmms with the 'ldc' theme. Matrix characters are sliding down the background. The CPU is maxed out and the user is playing a modified version of "dope wars", trading in laptops and trenchcoats.
October 27, 2025 at 3:58 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
tell me your bank's marketing dept is run by cishets without telling me etc etc
First Tech Credit Union informing me that "The FTMs are coming": their new "Freeasy Teller Machines".
October 26, 2025 at 10:20 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Re-upping this from 2022: I double-dog-dare someone to give a talk at a queer conference where every time you advance slides, you do it by hitting refresh on this web page:

https://aphyr.com/media/queer-theory/talk.html
Instability is the practitioner through which the constructivist futurity becomes phylogeny Biomedical theory arrives indirectly as freudian narrative Both violence and universal autonomy are also a interrogation There is something in the discrete residue which points outside the economy
October 26, 2025 at 8:51 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
2013, one of my early talks. Slides all drawn with a technical pen on graph paper, photographed with a DSLR, and cleaned up in Gimp.

https://aphyr.com/media/talks/2013/riemann-0.2.0.pdf
A slide showing lisp code for sending streamed events that match a certain tag to the graphite service, via an async queue A harrowed figure with "PAGERDUTY ALERT" blaring in the background A happy little event identified by spatial and temporal coordinates A waterwheel-driven mill which computes a rate of events flowing through it
October 26, 2025 at 8:15 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Throwback to 2011, before I started doing hand-drawn slides
A diagram of the Showyou HTTP stack: a pair of Nginx/Haproxy instances backed by a series of HTTP workers
October 26, 2025 at 1:36 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
So uhhhhh I've been through a lot of padlocks and it is *surprisingly* hard to find a well-proportioned, attractive, and properly weighted lock for a typical chain collar. Many locks are slightly too big or too small, or (as in the Titalium series or the […]

[Original post on woof.group]
Me with a typical chain collar and a nickel plated Abus lock Lock detail. It is finely cut, slightly convex, with horizontal brushing.
October 25, 2025 at 4:55 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Begging Apple to use a small part of their $400 billion/year in revenue to hire one (1) UX designer for the Apple TV app
October 22, 2025 at 2:46 AM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Sup bros
Me at the gym again, big surprise
October 20, 2025 at 4:14 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
New program has a pump day and I'm kind of loving doing lighter weights at high volume
Me flexing at the gym, surprise!
October 13, 2025 at 3:43 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Cleaning up old photo storage and oh my god remember before the pandemic when I had HAIR???
October 12, 2025 at 12:41 AM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
sorry, sorry, I'm trying to delete it
October 12, 2025 at 12:37 AM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Lats are coming in nicely right now, but I feel a little... deflated, if that makes sense. Been fighting recurring injuries and taking a lot of time off, or working with light weight, the last four months. Hoping that when I get my serratus anterior strengthened […]

[Original post on woof.group]
My back in a blue tank, at the gym.
September 27, 2025 at 12:53 AM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Dumb jock day at the gym
Me giving double bis in a locker room
September 26, 2025 at 9:07 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
If the Gay Agenda were real and we actually HAD infiltrated the highest echelons of US corporate power, Under Armour would stop making bland polos, re-release these tights, bring back jockstraps, and also their white shoulder-patch compression tees.
September 22, 2025 at 1:42 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Like Inigo Montoya, I have been hunting for a specific man for the last decade. Unlike Inigo Montoya, I mainly want to find him so I can steal these specific tights.
September 22, 2025 at 1:41 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
me: please cut this line and paste it above
vscode: gotcha boss
me: what is this
vscode: the line above the line you cut, boss
me: did I highlight wrong?
vscode: no boss
me: did I not press ^X?
vscode: no you did boss
me: did you not specifically cut the text I […]

[Original post on woof.group]
September 19, 2025 at 10:07 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
me, preparing to teach a class in java
September 19, 2025 at 8:13 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Thanks Scruff, I hate it.
Scruff notifying me that "Jockslut shared a moment with you", which my watch is helpfully displaying while I'm trying to work.
September 16, 2025 at 10:19 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
The complaint form Ofcom says you should use to report websites for violations of the #onlinesafetyact does not allow you to enter URLs, because it might be illegal for Ofcom to look at them.

What is going ON over there.
Ofcom telling me that if I want to report my web page on AWS for noncompliance with the OSA, I have to use an online form. That online form saying that it's impossible to report URLs because of "the risk of being sent content we are not legally allowed to access".
September 13, 2025 at 3:06 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
What's up, legs?
My legs, on a gym machine
August 27, 2025 at 3:33 PM