Prof. Saab Story
@angryprof.bsky.social
Tenured in rage, adjunct in joy. Driver of a dying Saab. Publisher of papers I had to pay for. Normally surrounded by incompetence and incontinence. Failed gardener. Satire.
Pinned
And I don’t blame this choice.
Open Access isn’t Open Your Wallets please, libraries and academics.
#academicsky
Open Access isn’t Open Your Wallets please, libraries and academics.
#academicsky
Manuscript sent back with “clarifications”
Translation: please wait patiently while the gears of academia grind to a halt.
Not saying anyone’s trying to scoop me, but the system smells like a damp conference poster.
In this research environment, my Saab’s oil leaks feel more honest.
#AcademicSky
Translation: please wait patiently while the gears of academia grind to a halt.
Not saying anyone’s trying to scoop me, but the system smells like a damp conference poster.
In this research environment, my Saab’s oil leaks feel more honest.
#AcademicSky
November 13, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Manuscript sent back with “clarifications”
Translation: please wait patiently while the gears of academia grind to a halt.
Not saying anyone’s trying to scoop me, but the system smells like a damp conference poster.
In this research environment, my Saab’s oil leaks feel more honest.
#AcademicSky
Translation: please wait patiently while the gears of academia grind to a halt.
Not saying anyone’s trying to scoop me, but the system smells like a damp conference poster.
In this research environment, my Saab’s oil leaks feel more honest.
#AcademicSky
Oh the joy.
I spend half my research time clicking to complete a Doodle poll than actually writing collaborative grants.
Its a wondrous life in our AI utopia.
Slamming my head on my Saabs windshield is less painful.
#AcademicSky
I spend half my research time clicking to complete a Doodle poll than actually writing collaborative grants.
Its a wondrous life in our AI utopia.
Slamming my head on my Saabs windshield is less painful.
#AcademicSky
November 4, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Oh the joy.
I spend half my research time clicking to complete a Doodle poll than actually writing collaborative grants.
Its a wondrous life in our AI utopia.
Slamming my head on my Saabs windshield is less painful.
#AcademicSky
I spend half my research time clicking to complete a Doodle poll than actually writing collaborative grants.
Its a wondrous life in our AI utopia.
Slamming my head on my Saabs windshield is less painful.
#AcademicSky
November 4, 2025 at 12:54 PM
And I don’t blame this choice.
Open Access isn’t Open Your Wallets please, libraries and academics.
#academicsky
Open Access isn’t Open Your Wallets please, libraries and academics.
#academicsky
November 3, 2025 at 10:12 PM
And I don’t blame this choice.
Open Access isn’t Open Your Wallets please, libraries and academics.
#academicsky
Open Access isn’t Open Your Wallets please, libraries and academics.
#academicsky
October 31, 2025 at 11:55 PM
The tenured Prof before me took 15 minutes instead of 10. Now I’m the villain if I cut into lunch. Dudes so full of self importance that I loose my appetite. Nothing like being punished for punctuality in the name of ‘collegiality.’
#academicsky
#academicsky
October 30, 2025 at 1:21 AM
The tenured Prof before me took 15 minutes instead of 10. Now I’m the villain if I cut into lunch. Dudes so full of self importance that I loose my appetite. Nothing like being punished for punctuality in the name of ‘collegiality.’
#academicsky
#academicsky
October 29, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Still did not complete the faculty annual report. It’s late, padded with superlatives , and no one’s going to read it anyway. Might as well submit an oil-stained maintenance log from my Saab—same level of institutional impact.
#academicsky
#academicsky
October 29, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Still did not complete the faculty annual report. It’s late, padded with superlatives , and no one’s going to read it anyway. Might as well submit an oil-stained maintenance log from my Saab—same level of institutional impact.
#academicsky
#academicsky
If a student walks into my class with meta glasses, I plan to test its efficacy through a strategic projectile vomit.
#academicsky
#academicsky
October 28, 2025 at 2:12 AM
If a student walks into my class with meta glasses, I plan to test its efficacy through a strategic projectile vomit.
#academicsky
#academicsky
People can’t walk and text without eating pavement, but sure… let’s strap on some dumbass glasses as well.
Meta glasses: because clearly what humanity needs is to bring another distraction 3 inches closer to the optic chiasm.
#academicsky
Meta glasses: because clearly what humanity needs is to bring another distraction 3 inches closer to the optic chiasm.
#academicsky
October 28, 2025 at 2:09 AM
People can’t walk and text without eating pavement, but sure… let’s strap on some dumbass glasses as well.
Meta glasses: because clearly what humanity needs is to bring another distraction 3 inches closer to the optic chiasm.
#academicsky
Meta glasses: because clearly what humanity needs is to bring another distraction 3 inches closer to the optic chiasm.
#academicsky
The AWS outage stories keep getting better… garage won’t open, fridge orders 60 gallons of oat milk, house locks them out till they say ‘please’ to Alexa, and overheating beds. Meanwhile, my Saab just needs oil and an apology. The Internet of Things is the dumbest thing ever invented.
#academicsky
#academicsky
October 22, 2025 at 11:02 PM
The AWS outage stories keep getting better… garage won’t open, fridge orders 60 gallons of oat milk, house locks them out till they say ‘please’ to Alexa, and overheating beds. Meanwhile, my Saab just needs oil and an apology. The Internet of Things is the dumbest thing ever invented.
#academicsky
#academicsky
Plenty of things piss me off, but nothing quite like being asked by a big publisher to review a book proposal for free. Not a cent, not even a coffee voucher. Apparently my expertise is worth exposure and a thank-you PDF… but not the book itself.
Asshats.
#academicsky
Asshats.
#academicsky
October 21, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Plenty of things piss me off, but nothing quite like being asked by a big publisher to review a book proposal for free. Not a cent, not even a coffee voucher. Apparently my expertise is worth exposure and a thank-you PDF… but not the book itself.
Asshats.
#academicsky
Asshats.
#academicsky
The college report remains idling, spewing noxious fumes like my Saab.
I feel like I’m dressing up an open jar of Ebola or cesium-137 with christmas wrap: looks pretty on the outside, but its toxic sludge thats induces double strand breaks.
#academicsky
I feel like I’m dressing up an open jar of Ebola or cesium-137 with christmas wrap: looks pretty on the outside, but its toxic sludge thats induces double strand breaks.
#academicsky
October 20, 2025 at 11:33 PM
The college report remains idling, spewing noxious fumes like my Saab.
I feel like I’m dressing up an open jar of Ebola or cesium-137 with christmas wrap: looks pretty on the outside, but its toxic sludge thats induces double strand breaks.
#academicsky
I feel like I’m dressing up an open jar of Ebola or cesium-137 with christmas wrap: looks pretty on the outside, but its toxic sludge thats induces double strand breaks.
#academicsky
The AWS outage is hilarious. It’s like a digital COVID when suddenly the world stands still and the beauty of silence reveals itself…
… and a nightmare for the LinkedIn boneheads whose contributions to science is the variance of unknown icons barfed out from an LLM onto a post.
#AcademicSky
… and a nightmare for the LinkedIn boneheads whose contributions to science is the variance of unknown icons barfed out from an LLM onto a post.
#AcademicSky
October 20, 2025 at 1:34 PM
The AWS outage is hilarious. It’s like a digital COVID when suddenly the world stands still and the beauty of silence reveals itself…
… and a nightmare for the LinkedIn boneheads whose contributions to science is the variance of unknown icons barfed out from an LLM onto a post.
#AcademicSky
… and a nightmare for the LinkedIn boneheads whose contributions to science is the variance of unknown icons barfed out from an LLM onto a post.
#AcademicSky
Still haven’t finished that college report and admin keeps hounding me. At this point, it’s less a document and more a perfect example of procrastination.
Here is lies the true value AI sludge and micro-babble: nobody’s going to read the damn 30 page report anyway.
#academicsky
Here is lies the true value AI sludge and micro-babble: nobody’s going to read the damn 30 page report anyway.
#academicsky
October 20, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Still haven’t finished that college report and admin keeps hounding me. At this point, it’s less a document and more a perfect example of procrastination.
Here is lies the true value AI sludge and micro-babble: nobody’s going to read the damn 30 page report anyway.
#academicsky
Here is lies the true value AI sludge and micro-babble: nobody’s going to read the damn 30 page report anyway.
#academicsky
Just shed a tear of joy over a student’s README.txt file It was clear, organized, human-readable, even indicating subfolders. In this wasteland of AI sludge and broken syntax, it was a thing of beauty… unlike my Saab’s muffler
#academicsky
#academicsky
October 18, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Just shed a tear of joy over a student’s README.txt file It was clear, organized, human-readable, even indicating subfolders. In this wasteland of AI sludge and broken syntax, it was a thing of beauty… unlike my Saab’s muffler
#academicsky
#academicsky
Just had a paper bounce back at “QA” because of a new/different line-numbering requirement. What, the science is fine, just not the margins?
The QA efficiency we all dreamed of!
Journals move goalposts like toddlers. My Saab’s maintenance schedule is more consistent.
#academicsky
The QA efficiency we all dreamed of!
Journals move goalposts like toddlers. My Saab’s maintenance schedule is more consistent.
#academicsky
October 17, 2025 at 11:56 AM
Just had a paper bounce back at “QA” because of a new/different line-numbering requirement. What, the science is fine, just not the margins?
The QA efficiency we all dreamed of!
Journals move goalposts like toddlers. My Saab’s maintenance schedule is more consistent.
#academicsky
The QA efficiency we all dreamed of!
Journals move goalposts like toddlers. My Saab’s maintenance schedule is more consistent.
#academicsky
Every conference starts the same: blowhard presidents of this and that yammering like bad warmup acts at a concert. Imagine how many Kreb cycles could be saved or diverted to actual science.
#academicsky
#academicsky
October 17, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Every conference starts the same: blowhard presidents of this and that yammering like bad warmup acts at a concert. Imagine how many Kreb cycles could be saved or diverted to actual science.
#academicsky
#academicsky
Dear undergrads,
Asking to join my lab when you’ve clearly used an LLM to write your email is an astonishingly bad idea. Your letters are impersonal, stale, and not inquisitive.
And that paper of mine you thought was “very interesting?”… well … it wasn’t.
#AcademicSky
Asking to join my lab when you’ve clearly used an LLM to write your email is an astonishingly bad idea. Your letters are impersonal, stale, and not inquisitive.
And that paper of mine you thought was “very interesting?”… well … it wasn’t.
#AcademicSky
October 15, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Dear undergrads,
Asking to join my lab when you’ve clearly used an LLM to write your email is an astonishingly bad idea. Your letters are impersonal, stale, and not inquisitive.
And that paper of mine you thought was “very interesting?”… well … it wasn’t.
#AcademicSky
Asking to join my lab when you’ve clearly used an LLM to write your email is an astonishingly bad idea. Your letters are impersonal, stale, and not inquisitive.
And that paper of mine you thought was “very interesting?”… well … it wasn’t.
#AcademicSky
Indigenous Peoples’ Day: a reminder that this continent’s foundation isn’t brilliance or progress, but built on theft, silence, and loss.
#academicsky
#academicsky
October 13, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Indigenous Peoples’ Day: a reminder that this continent’s foundation isn’t brilliance or progress, but built on theft, silence, and loss.
#academicsky
#academicsky
The AI crowd calls itself revolutionary, but it feeds on data scraped from the exhausted humans it ignores. Real science happens in wet labs, basements and barns, not PowerPoint keynotes and LinkedIn posts.
Ma’at, Egyptian goddess of truth and morality, silently cries.
#academicsky
Ma’at, Egyptian goddess of truth and morality, silently cries.
#academicsky
October 12, 2025 at 5:16 PM
The AI crowd calls itself revolutionary, but it feeds on data scraped from the exhausted humans it ignores. Real science happens in wet labs, basements and barns, not PowerPoint keynotes and LinkedIn posts.
Ma’at, Egyptian goddess of truth and morality, silently cries.
#academicsky
Ma’at, Egyptian goddess of truth and morality, silently cries.
#academicsky
October 12, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Whiteboards: every marker’s dead except the yellow one nobody can read. My Saab’s jealous—those markers get replaced more often than its timing belt.
#academicsky
#academicsky
October 12, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Whiteboards: every marker’s dead except the yellow one nobody can read. My Saab’s jealous—those markers get replaced more often than its timing belt.
#academicsky
#academicsky
Latest update from Secretary Robot Frog: grand theory linking Tylenol and circumcision to the phases of the moon. Somewhere, real scientists quietly close their laptops.
Step aside for the academic flex, squirminator X
#academicsky
Step aside for the academic flex, squirminator X
#academicsky
October 10, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Latest update from Secretary Robot Frog: grand theory linking Tylenol and circumcision to the phases of the moon. Somewhere, real scientists quietly close their laptops.
Step aside for the academic flex, squirminator X
#academicsky
Step aside for the academic flex, squirminator X
#academicsky
October 9, 2025 at 12:57 PM