Prof. Saab Story
@angryprof.bsky.social
Tenured in rage, adjunct in joy. Driver of a dying Saab. Publisher of papers I had to pay for. Normally surrounded by incompetence and incontinence. Failed gardener. Satire.
Pinned
Expressing disappointment in a student’s for poor data management execution is performative art.
#AcademicSky
#AcademicSky
February 12, 2026 at 1:55 PM
That feeling when you have a “review revised article request” email, and the responses to your critique are all addressed, and you don’t want to actually read the paper and just hit “accept”
#academicsky
#academicsky
February 10, 2026 at 8:21 PM
That feeling when you have a “review revised article request” email, and the responses to your critique are all addressed, and you don’t want to actually read the paper and just hit “accept”
#academicsky
#academicsky
Expressing disappointment in a student’s for poor data management execution is performative art.
#AcademicSky
#AcademicSky
January 22, 2026 at 2:06 PM
Expressing disappointment in a student’s for poor data management execution is performative art.
#AcademicSky
#AcademicSky
Somewhere between updating a spreadsheet and rebooting a frozen computer, I realized the real skill in academia is pretending this is all normal.
#academicsky
#academicsky
January 22, 2026 at 2:05 PM
Somewhere between updating a spreadsheet and rebooting a frozen computer, I realized the real skill in academia is pretending this is all normal.
#academicsky
#academicsky
Cheering in the New Year
With frothy libations,
Another year …
of chasing citations
And high impact factor publications
Or maybe you say “screw it …
Dump it all in Arxiv” this year
I have no fear!
Publishing cretins,
and techbro whores
2026
what a fix
Tenure denied
from a KPI
#AcademicSky
With frothy libations,
Another year …
of chasing citations
And high impact factor publications
Or maybe you say “screw it …
Dump it all in Arxiv” this year
I have no fear!
Publishing cretins,
and techbro whores
2026
what a fix
Tenure denied
from a KPI
#AcademicSky
January 3, 2026 at 3:42 PM
Cheering in the New Year
With frothy libations,
Another year …
of chasing citations
And high impact factor publications
Or maybe you say “screw it …
Dump it all in Arxiv” this year
I have no fear!
Publishing cretins,
and techbro whores
2026
what a fix
Tenure denied
from a KPI
#AcademicSky
With frothy libations,
Another year …
of chasing citations
And high impact factor publications
Or maybe you say “screw it …
Dump it all in Arxiv” this year
I have no fear!
Publishing cretins,
and techbro whores
2026
what a fix
Tenure denied
from a KPI
#AcademicSky
“Thank you for your email. I will be away from the office for a few weeks. If this is a review request, the answer is. Baaeee.”
#AcademicSky
#AcademicSky
December 24, 2025 at 4:53 PM
“Thank you for your email. I will be away from the office for a few weeks. If this is a review request, the answer is. Baaeee.”
#AcademicSky
#AcademicSky
December 23, 2025 at 6:03 PM
How about YOU READ THE DAMN THING?
“Suffocate your neurons, for the low price of $20/month!”
#AcademicSky
“Suffocate your neurons, for the low price of $20/month!”
#AcademicSky
December 22, 2025 at 5:07 PM
How about YOU READ THE DAMN THING?
“Suffocate your neurons, for the low price of $20/month!”
#AcademicSky
“Suffocate your neurons, for the low price of $20/month!”
#AcademicSky
Yeah… I am a grump… and yes.. this so this is so academically cringe… but … I am not comfortable with the academic doxing either.
Just call it out as bad behaviour…destroying peoples lives is mean.
Am I just out of touch?
#AcademicSky
retractionwatch.com/2025/12/08/h...
Just call it out as bad behaviour…destroying peoples lives is mean.
Am I just out of touch?
#AcademicSky
retractionwatch.com/2025/12/08/h...
How to juice your Google Scholar h-index, preprint by preprint
A screenshot of Yousaf’s Google Scholar profile before it was removed. Muhammad Zain Yousaf, a postdoc at Zhejiang University in Hangzhou, China, became a scholar of note overnight. Or so it …
retractionwatch.com
December 17, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Yeah… I am a grump… and yes.. this so this is so academically cringe… but … I am not comfortable with the academic doxing either.
Just call it out as bad behaviour…destroying peoples lives is mean.
Am I just out of touch?
#AcademicSky
retractionwatch.com/2025/12/08/h...
Just call it out as bad behaviour…destroying peoples lives is mean.
Am I just out of touch?
#AcademicSky
retractionwatch.com/2025/12/08/h...
Winter settles in, term finally ends. Snow falls quietly, covering the mess of the academic year. Publishers post record windfall profits, like never-ending snow storms. My soul gets buried in malaise.
#academicsky
#academicsky
December 16, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Winter settles in, term finally ends. Snow falls quietly, covering the mess of the academic year. Publishers post record windfall profits, like never-ending snow storms. My soul gets buried in malaise.
#academicsky
#academicsky
December 11, 2025 at 2:20 AM
As the world burns, science dies, and the techbros sell their AI like crack, the most critical issue of the day is font selection.
It won’t be long before my Saab is mistaken as a DEI purchase.
#AcademicSky
It won’t be long before my Saab is mistaken as a DEI purchase.
#AcademicSky
December 10, 2025 at 1:51 AM
As the world burns, science dies, and the techbros sell their AI like crack, the most critical issue of the day is font selection.
It won’t be long before my Saab is mistaken as a DEI purchase.
#AcademicSky
It won’t be long before my Saab is mistaken as a DEI purchase.
#AcademicSky
December 8, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Publishers are suddenly ‘excited about AI’ … as if they didn’t spend decades profiting off unpaid human labor. Same extraction, new buzzwords, no attribution.
Different tool, identical invoice.
#academicsky
Different tool, identical invoice.
#academicsky
December 8, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Publishers are suddenly ‘excited about AI’ … as if they didn’t spend decades profiting off unpaid human labor. Same extraction, new buzzwords, no attribution.
Different tool, identical invoice.
#academicsky
Different tool, identical invoice.
#academicsky
Me after a AI-generated Linked In post full of psycho-babble and inane icons.
Felt the same way learning how to put in washer fluid into my Saab.
#academicsky
Felt the same way learning how to put in washer fluid into my Saab.
#academicsky
December 8, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Me after a AI-generated Linked In post full of psycho-babble and inane icons.
Felt the same way learning how to put in washer fluid into my Saab.
#academicsky
Felt the same way learning how to put in washer fluid into my Saab.
#academicsky
Crap like this pissed me off.
Lets replace a false notion of “productivity”with deep and critical thinking. Heaven forbid students actually *speaking* to an assorted collection of experts and real knowledge and wisdom generators.
Stop feeding AI-head addicts.
#AcademicSky
x.com/faheem_uh/st...
Lets replace a false notion of “productivity”with deep and critical thinking. Heaven forbid students actually *speaking* to an assorted collection of experts and real knowledge and wisdom generators.
Stop feeding AI-head addicts.
#AcademicSky
x.com/faheem_uh/st...
x.com
December 7, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Crap like this pissed me off.
Lets replace a false notion of “productivity”with deep and critical thinking. Heaven forbid students actually *speaking* to an assorted collection of experts and real knowledge and wisdom generators.
Stop feeding AI-head addicts.
#AcademicSky
x.com/faheem_uh/st...
Lets replace a false notion of “productivity”with deep and critical thinking. Heaven forbid students actually *speaking* to an assorted collection of experts and real knowledge and wisdom generators.
Stop feeding AI-head addicts.
#AcademicSky
x.com/faheem_uh/st...
December 6, 2025 at 8:23 PM
December 6, 2025 at 6:03 PM
What the hell with all these review papers? Seems like a cheap way for AI-heads to try to crank up their h-index without doing something meaningful.
Grad students, yes… for sure… but some are just so suss.
#AcademicSky
Grad students, yes… for sure… but some are just so suss.
#AcademicSky
December 6, 2025 at 5:59 PM
What the hell with all these review papers? Seems like a cheap way for AI-heads to try to crank up their h-index without doing something meaningful.
Grad students, yes… for sure… but some are just so suss.
#AcademicSky
Grad students, yes… for sure… but some are just so suss.
#AcademicSky
Just don’t… just …. don’t
- ask me to fill outa Doodle Poll, especially when you can *see* my calendar
- ask me to access data on Dropbox: homey don’t pay that
- charge me 500$ for the page of citations in my peer reviewed paper
Thank you for your attention to these matters
#AcademicSky
- ask me to fill outa Doodle Poll, especially when you can *see* my calendar
- ask me to access data on Dropbox: homey don’t pay that
- charge me 500$ for the page of citations in my peer reviewed paper
Thank you for your attention to these matters
#AcademicSky
December 3, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Just don’t… just …. don’t
- ask me to fill outa Doodle Poll, especially when you can *see* my calendar
- ask me to access data on Dropbox: homey don’t pay that
- charge me 500$ for the page of citations in my peer reviewed paper
Thank you for your attention to these matters
#AcademicSky
- ask me to fill outa Doodle Poll, especially when you can *see* my calendar
- ask me to access data on Dropbox: homey don’t pay that
- charge me 500$ for the page of citations in my peer reviewed paper
Thank you for your attention to these matters
#AcademicSky
There should be faculty drinking game where “AI” and “leveraging” are both used in the title of an advertised colloquia, seminars, or rounds.
#AcademicSky
#AcademicSky
December 1, 2025 at 5:55 PM
There should be faculty drinking game where “AI” and “leveraging” are both used in the title of an advertised colloquia, seminars, or rounds.
#AcademicSky
#AcademicSky
November 29, 2025 at 11:26 PM
November 29, 2025 at 6:57 PM
This is giving me fits. “Because its my academic duty … “
(Excuse me while i attend to a screaming break light on my Saab)
(Excuse me while i attend to a screaming break light on my Saab)
November 29, 2025 at 6:56 PM
This is giving me fits. “Because its my academic duty … “
(Excuse me while i attend to a screaming break light on my Saab)
(Excuse me while i attend to a screaming break light on my Saab)