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ang3licx.bsky.social
ang3licx
@ang3licx.bsky.social
10 followers 17 following 0 posts
she/her | 18 | artist
banner/pfp not by me!!
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icamyth.bsky.social
🚨 emergency post 🚨
plz repost if u ses it

hi. full explanation in replies. its heavy and covers abuse.

I am opening $5 pwyw comms. ill do anything. im very desperate. examples attached below

tdlr: my homelife sucks!!

#commsopen #emergencypost #signalboost
text states: hello everyone, my name is icarus and things have gotten. worse! if youve been here for a time, you know i frequently make emergency slots. i am once again having to open these but they will be so discounted. i quite literally have considered making them 1 dollar just to sell. id like to start off with the fact i am both mentally and physically disabled. i am paranoid schizophrenic + autistic/adhd + bpd + major depressive + more. i have been off medication for almost 2 years now, starting original in july-august 2023. since being off medication i was raped at my university. i had no way to cope. college was my escape and it was ruined before i even started my classes thanks to some guy. i made a report, but it didn't particularly go anywhere due to uni police handling it nor did I want to face him again. i did not return to college, due to me losing my financial aid due to my grade status. my family bregrudingly let me come home due to the incident. if it wasn't for this i would have likely been homeless. i still face threats of being homeless due to agruments with my family, more specifically mother. quite literally since early childhood, i've dealt with various types of repeated abuse from various different family members. sexual, emotional, and physical threats to me being. i was isolated from majority of my life and told not to talk to people. my first guardians kicked me out at 15/16 for simply wanting to wear a tux to my mothers wedding. my mother is not the best either, and i am still dealing with verbal and emotional abuse from her. text states i have been paying for my own things since 16. i did not start getting medical help until 16, because my mother wanted to show up my other family members. i was hospitalized in highschool and was gone so often due to episodes they tried to prevent me from graduating, despite my grades looking good. my household is not wealthy, we are on stamps. i sleep in a garage they use to store things that occasionally floods. my mother goes through cold phases with me. she does house me and help me somewhat, but most times shes cold towards me and urging me to leave or enter school full time (which would lead to me leaving). i live with 3 other siblings and all expect the youngest (13) mostly maintain the house. cooking / cleaning while they are in school. if not we are woken up to maintain the house. if we do not cook we do not eat. we do not talk to outside family really. i often skip dinner due to being exhausted from doing art work / helping with animals, simply not being told about food, dinner being consumed without me/eaten before I can even make a plate, texture reasons [not often though], or it just being. inedible. there are more various issues, but often i take the brunt of verbal abuse when something goes wrong. i am constantly criticized for struggling with issues, and when i do succeed, i am still criticized and shamed. this leads to constant suicidal episodes. recently i broke down due to my mother demanding i get a job or ill never fix myself and be normal, her telling me it isnt her fault that she backed out the day of an job interview despite me asking and confirming in advance, and nobody being able to drive me (i am unable to drive due to extreme naseous + anxiety/paranoia.) i broke down and confessed i have an active plan for suicide and left to wander outside for an hour in the cold. when i returned, she simply stated annoyed next time I threatened myself she- text states she simply stated annoyed next time I threatened myself she would call the police on my and have me hospitalized indefinitely. I live in America and have no insurance. I would be in even more debt. id like to state i am currently seeking a irl job despite all of this still + health issues. I have been searching since august. i have been doing this while dealing with constant abuse. now for as of now. ill put it bluntly. my queue is... insane. i have long wait times..i am often working well into the morning. my money often goes directly to paying of my credit card (maxed by my mother when she asked for it to pay for groceries for the house), the few additional subscriptions I have, and my esa, lucky's food. lucky i have found out has developed a extreme stomach sensitivity to i believe grains after an emergency vet visit. she also has back issues. i had to switch her diet which costs more. i have to keep taking on more work to feed myself. i cannot get proper groceries for myself due to my family eating them and i have no other places to store them. i have to order myself meals or when i go shopping, get snack foods i can hide in my room / store in my room. such as chips, spaghetti pans, and bad tv dinners that i can store in the fridge. my money often goes to family, mainly the ones in my household. they never pay me back. they guilt me that they supported me through my childhood/gave birth to me (i was no contact through majority of my childhood for abuse then.) and that since i live here rent free (until i get a job), they dont need to pay me back. i am struggling more and more as sales dwindle. i have commissions from a person i ordered roughly a year+ now, but they have a no refund policy despite most of them being unstarted. so i cannot get funds from that. text states i am struggling more and more as sales dwindle. i have commissions from a person i ordered roughly a year+ now, but they have a no refund policy despite most of them being unstarted. so i cannot get funds from that. i don't want to sell all of my characters quite frankly. they are the only good thing besides my dog that I have to myself. i am in need of help. i cannot leave this house and go to another abusive household in my family. i can only survive until i get a job. once i get a job my goal is to save and move in with a friend in a year or so. then go no contact. i hope to hear from 2 locations i applied to start work, pay for my own insurance, get medicated, and get the hell out of dodge. if you would like to help, i am so desperate i'm doing $5 pay what you want commissions to get myself by for now. if you want to pay full price, my carrd will be attached here. it will take me time, my queue is big. my wrist + grip has degraded so much due to drawing. i am in and out of episodes. but ill try to get funds. final thing. when i get a steady job, i plan to start refunds for art finally. my passion has been gone for some time. i need a break. i also want to free people of waiting for a comm. thank you if you read. thank you if you skimmed over it. i appreciate you dearly for atleast listening to my story.
December 4, 2024 at 8:41 PM