I always think I haven’t cooked enough pasta.

Until the pasta finishes cooking…

And then I realize I cooked too much pasta. 🫠

If you mess up prettily enough, folks may think you're a trend setter, rather than a noob.

Sure, I *could* make a beautiful Denver omelette. But -- hear me out -- why would I do that, when I could, at no extra cost to me, make a damn mess instead?

There is an age at which "sleeping funny" at night becomes no laughing matter the next morning, and I have reached it.