Andy Rimmer
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andy200.bsky.social
Andy Rimmer
@andy200.bsky.social
910 followers 720 following 480 posts
Breeder of Unicorns (when in season),
Curator of misattributed ephemera.
Writer of gags (this isn't one!).
It's gonna be too late to grow up.
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andy200.bsky.social
Andy Rimmer @andy200.bsky.social · Feb 26
There's a German themed party
and the missus says I have to wear
lederhosen, which have just arrived
from Amazon, but the wurst is yet to come!

#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
andy200.bsky.social
Preserve : the viewing menu/prices and
selection stage.
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 21, 2025 at 9:22 AM
andy200.bsky.social
My mate's new double glazing business
concept has err... gone out of the window.
#LunchPun #humour #joke #jokes #funny
November 21, 2025 at 9:19 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Cherish : passing resemblance to the American
chanteuse and actor.
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 20, 2025 at 9:10 AM
andy200.bsky.social
'...And the chef has his own personal herb garden.
He is meticulous, even fertilising it himself!'
'Hope he washes his hands after!'
#LunchPun #humour #joke #jokes #funny
November 20, 2025 at 8:58 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Approach : preventative beetle app
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 19, 2025 at 9:13 AM
andy200.bsky.social
My mate said his girlfriend was a model,
and someone had asked her if he could put
her 'arty' pictures on jigsaws.
She wasn't cut out for it.
#LunchPun #joke #humour #jokes #funny
November 19, 2025 at 9:11 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Remember : prosthetic phallus operation
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 18, 2025 at 9:14 AM
andy200.bsky.social
My mate won the card school championship.
'Well... you have the bragging rights!'
'Prefer the studding rights!'
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
November 18, 2025 at 9:06 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Concern : fake Large Hadron Collider
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 17, 2025 at 9:15 AM
andy200.bsky.social
The estate agent said, '...And this is
powder room!'
My mate replied, 'They must've had one
hell of a coke habit!'
#LunchPun #joke #humour #funny #jokes
November 17, 2025 at 9:09 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Question : long investigation into Particle Physics
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 16, 2025 at 9:47 AM
andy200.bsky.social
The missus isn't speaking to me at
the moment! All I did was shout across to
her in the pharmacy that Vagisil was on offer!
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
November 16, 2025 at 9:44 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Personages : slang for a single toilet queue
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 14, 2025 at 9:20 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Went for a roast at the Comedy Club on a Sunday.
The only beef was with the Yorkshire Pudding
who ran the joint.
#LunchPun #joke #humour #jokes #funny
November 14, 2025 at 9:14 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Promiser : professional skinflint.
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 13, 2025 at 12:09 PM
andy200.bsky.social
My mate met an old girlfriend in Tesco.
'Still a vegan I see ... soya sausage?'
'Yeah... many after you, and not chipolatas!'
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
November 13, 2025 at 9:21 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Method : excess crystal pharmaceuticals
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 12, 2025 at 9:38 AM
andy200.bsky.social
My mate attended his first board meeting.
The chair said, 'Are there any pressing matters?'
My nervous mate farted loudly, 'Sorry, not any more!'
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
November 12, 2025 at 9:10 AM
andy200.bsky.social
About : a pugilists dream
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 11, 2025 at 9:08 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Saw two idiots shoplifting in sync like
on Strictly Come Dancing.
Gave em a 10 for a pincher movement.

#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
November 11, 2025 at 9:03 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Allowed : counterview of crowdfunding
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 10, 2025 at 9:13 AM
andy200.bsky.social
My mate wants to extend his jet wash
business to offer colonic irrigation!
'Only need a two-way nozzle.'
'Won't your regulars get a bit arsey about it?'
#LunchPun #joke #humour #jokes #funny
November 10, 2025 at 9:11 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Inspire : progress on ecclesiastical tour.
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 9, 2025 at 8:52 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Went to the 'Most Haunted' show at the
Blackpool Grand. The most surprising
thing was that the Ghost Train at the
Pleasure Beach has err... a real ghost.
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
November 9, 2025 at 8:47 AM
andy200.bsky.social
Kitchen : a self-assembly Asian puppet
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 8, 2025 at 9:59 AM