He only turns up now when they are giving him a medal.

I know it's only one of his minorest lies in that ludicrous press conference but...Bernard Manning never appeared on prime time BBC. Ever. In fact the only appearance I can recall was when he was exposed as a pitiful racist, (and admitted it) by the brilliant Caroline Ahern on the Mrs. Merton Show.

Ah...the mythical two weeks.

Well....duh...

I'm in the audience for five of the shows in that documentary, including Hammersmith 1975...you must have spotted me surely.

You'll love it. As I have every time beginning with Hammersmith 1975...seen 100s of live acts. No one else come even close.

He isn't. Unless he's doing it in the South of France.

God no. I'm cured from watching that shower.

Barry Fry once pissed in all four corners of the pitch to remove a gypsy's curse on Birmingham.

You could try that. It can't be a worse idea than paying 80 million for Antony.

To be fair, that's like criticising me for not having any plans on where to take Sandra Bullock on our honeymoon.

I can only assume that he's drunk. There is no other logical explanation.

That's harsh. He might not smell. I mean,he probably does but so would you in three diapers a day.

I'm making IPhones in my spare room. As soon as I can find the glue. They are only small. How hard can it be ?

Disappointing as he looks like quite a reliable chap. In an axe murdery sort of way.