Amadei, Suburban White Woman
@amsee.bsky.social
Reader, gamer, crafter, mom to the sweetest little girl of all time. OF ALL TIME.
4yo: Sex! Sex sex sex!
Me: What?
4yo: Sex, Mommy!
Me: Sacks?
4yo: No, no! Sex like you, Mommy! *points to my feet, then to her bare feet*
Me: Ohhh…socks…
Me: What?
4yo: Sex, Mommy!
Me: Sacks?
4yo: No, no! Sex like you, Mommy! *points to my feet, then to her bare feet*
Me: Ohhh…socks…
November 13, 2025 at 12:48 AM
4yo: Sex! Sex sex sex!
Me: What?
4yo: Sex, Mommy!
Me: Sacks?
4yo: No, no! Sex like you, Mommy! *points to my feet, then to her bare feet*
Me: Ohhh…socks…
Me: What?
4yo: Sex, Mommy!
Me: Sacks?
4yo: No, no! Sex like you, Mommy! *points to my feet, then to her bare feet*
Me: Ohhh…socks…
Staff really really trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear with this one. 😅
November 12, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Staff really really trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear with this one. 😅
Ah, Skittles...the gayest of candies... 🤦♀️
November 12, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Ah, Skittles...the gayest of candies... 🤦♀️
I just sent an email to someone with an @aol.com address. What decade am I living in?
November 5, 2025 at 4:14 PM
I just sent an email to someone with an @aol.com address. What decade am I living in?
In the car, listening to @barenakedladies.com, skipping through the playlist...
4yo: Nooo, I want Uncle Hal.
Me: Uncle Hal? What?
4yo: Nooo, UNCLE HAL.
Me: Who is Uncle Hal?
4yo: Like what Daddy drinks!
Me: Daddy drinks Uncle Hal?
*brain click*
Me: You mean "Alcohol?"
4yo, exasperated: YES.
4yo: Nooo, I want Uncle Hal.
Me: Uncle Hal? What?
4yo: Nooo, UNCLE HAL.
Me: Who is Uncle Hal?
4yo: Like what Daddy drinks!
Me: Daddy drinks Uncle Hal?
*brain click*
Me: You mean "Alcohol?"
4yo, exasperated: YES.
November 5, 2025 at 3:49 PM
In the car, listening to @barenakedladies.com, skipping through the playlist...
4yo: Nooo, I want Uncle Hal.
Me: Uncle Hal? What?
4yo: Nooo, UNCLE HAL.
Me: Who is Uncle Hal?
4yo: Like what Daddy drinks!
Me: Daddy drinks Uncle Hal?
*brain click*
Me: You mean "Alcohol?"
4yo, exasperated: YES.
4yo: Nooo, I want Uncle Hal.
Me: Uncle Hal? What?
4yo: Nooo, UNCLE HAL.
Me: Who is Uncle Hal?
4yo: Like what Daddy drinks!
Me: Daddy drinks Uncle Hal?
*brain click*
Me: You mean "Alcohol?"
4yo, exasperated: YES.
4yo: *runs up* Call me a weirdo!
Me: What?
4yo: Call me a weirdo!
Me: You’re a tiny weirdo.
4yo: *giggles and runs away*
Me: Yep. Definitely a weirdo.
Me: What?
4yo: Call me a weirdo!
Me: You’re a tiny weirdo.
4yo: *giggles and runs away*
Me: Yep. Definitely a weirdo.
November 1, 2025 at 11:57 PM
4yo: *runs up* Call me a weirdo!
Me: What?
4yo: Call me a weirdo!
Me: You’re a tiny weirdo.
4yo: *giggles and runs away*
Me: Yep. Definitely a weirdo.
Me: What?
4yo: Call me a weirdo!
Me: You’re a tiny weirdo.
4yo: *giggles and runs away*
Me: Yep. Definitely a weirdo.
4yo: I just peed and I put my sticker in the toilet and I flushed it.
Me: You flushed your sticker?
4yo: I put it in the toilet and I flushed it.
Me: Why did you flush it?
4yo: Because I didn’t want to get my hands wet.
Well, okay then.
Me: You flushed your sticker?
4yo: I put it in the toilet and I flushed it.
Me: Why did you flush it?
4yo: Because I didn’t want to get my hands wet.
Well, okay then.
October 29, 2025 at 10:02 PM
4yo: I just peed and I put my sticker in the toilet and I flushed it.
Me: You flushed your sticker?
4yo: I put it in the toilet and I flushed it.
Me: Why did you flush it?
4yo: Because I didn’t want to get my hands wet.
Well, okay then.
Me: You flushed your sticker?
4yo: I put it in the toilet and I flushed it.
Me: Why did you flush it?
4yo: Because I didn’t want to get my hands wet.
Well, okay then.
Client: Did you watch the baseball game last night?
Me: Oh? No, I didn't.
Client: You look tired so I thought maybe you stayed up too late watching.
Me: Heh, no. I have a four-year-old.
Client: Oh...that'll do it.
Me: Oh? No, I didn't.
Client: You look tired so I thought maybe you stayed up too late watching.
Me: Heh, no. I have a four-year-old.
Client: Oh...that'll do it.
October 29, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Client: Did you watch the baseball game last night?
Me: Oh? No, I didn't.
Client: You look tired so I thought maybe you stayed up too late watching.
Me: Heh, no. I have a four-year-old.
Client: Oh...that'll do it.
Me: Oh? No, I didn't.
Client: You look tired so I thought maybe you stayed up too late watching.
Me: Heh, no. I have a four-year-old.
Client: Oh...that'll do it.
Them: Thank you for getting to that so promptly! You're so efficient!
Me: It's either I do it immediately or I forget about it until the heat death of the universe, so...you're welcome, I guess.
Me: It's either I do it immediately or I forget about it until the heat death of the universe, so...you're welcome, I guess.
October 24, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Them: Thank you for getting to that so promptly! You're so efficient!
Me: It's either I do it immediately or I forget about it until the heat death of the universe, so...you're welcome, I guess.
Me: It's either I do it immediately or I forget about it until the heat death of the universe, so...you're welcome, I guess.
4yo: What's this song?
Me: "Love, Maybe"
4yo, confident: No, it's "Love."
Me: "Love, Maybe"
4yo, confident: No, it's "Love."
October 16, 2025 at 1:30 PM
4yo: What's this song?
Me: "Love, Maybe"
4yo, confident: No, it's "Love."
Me: "Love, Maybe"
4yo, confident: No, it's "Love."
Trying to pick out one of those window cat beds and came across this review.
Ma'am, this is not the bed's fault.
Ma'am, this is not the bed's fault.
October 1, 2025 at 12:43 PM
Trying to pick out one of those window cat beds and came across this review.
Ma'am, this is not the bed's fault.
Ma'am, this is not the bed's fault.
The Venn diagram of "men who are 'big into crypto'" and "men who don't understand why women chose the bear" is an almost perfect circle.
September 19, 2025 at 5:44 PM
The Venn diagram of "men who are 'big into crypto'" and "men who don't understand why women chose the bear" is an almost perfect circle.
How's today going?
Well, I walked into work convinced that it was Thursday and was very confused about how I missed an email sent at 8:23am on Wednesday.
That's how today is going.
Well, I walked into work convinced that it was Thursday and was very confused about how I missed an email sent at 8:23am on Wednesday.
That's how today is going.
September 17, 2025 at 12:44 PM
How's today going?
Well, I walked into work convinced that it was Thursday and was very confused about how I missed an email sent at 8:23am on Wednesday.
That's how today is going.
Well, I walked into work convinced that it was Thursday and was very confused about how I missed an email sent at 8:23am on Wednesday.
That's how today is going.
Starbucks Guy: Can I get a name?
Me: Amy.
SG: That’s a popular one today.
Me: It’s not, really, but I try to make it easier for you guys.
SG: [scans my phone & sees my name] Oh, God, you’re not kidding. That’s not even close to Amy.
Me: Amy.
SG: That’s a popular one today.
Me: It’s not, really, but I try to make it easier for you guys.
SG: [scans my phone & sees my name] Oh, God, you’re not kidding. That’s not even close to Amy.
September 6, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Starbucks Guy: Can I get a name?
Me: Amy.
SG: That’s a popular one today.
Me: It’s not, really, but I try to make it easier for you guys.
SG: [scans my phone & sees my name] Oh, God, you’re not kidding. That’s not even close to Amy.
Me: Amy.
SG: That’s a popular one today.
Me: It’s not, really, but I try to make it easier for you guys.
SG: [scans my phone & sees my name] Oh, God, you’re not kidding. That’s not even close to Amy.
I bought this one so we wouldn’t forget when it expires.
September 4, 2025 at 10:41 PM
I bought this one so we wouldn’t forget when it expires.
I’m not obsessively checking my email to see if my book order has come into the bookstore; you’re obsessively checking your email to see if your book order has come into the bookstore. ><
September 3, 2025 at 6:36 PM
I’m not obsessively checking my email to see if my book order has come into the bookstore; you’re obsessively checking your email to see if your book order has come into the bookstore. ><
Girl, you say you're bi (in the comments), but I think you might like just women.
August 6, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Girl, you say you're bi (in the comments), but I think you might like just women.
It's very much "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." 😂
August 1, 2025 at 3:26 PM
It's very much "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." 😂
Bananas, chocolate chip cookies, and iced chai lattes. Sounds pretty good to me.
July 29, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Bananas, chocolate chip cookies, and iced chai lattes. Sounds pretty good to me.
I just realized I can customize the passcode when I create a Zoom meeting and it is taking all of my willpower to not make it 8008135.
July 22, 2025 at 8:10 PM
I just realized I can customize the passcode when I create a Zoom meeting and it is taking all of my willpower to not make it 8008135.
[several files have gone missing]
Me: I feel like I'm going crazy. Or like some mouse has come and just stolen the files.
Boss: That would be one bored mouse.
Me: I feel like I'm going crazy. Or like some mouse has come and just stolen the files.
Boss: That would be one bored mouse.
June 24, 2025 at 4:55 PM
[several files have gone missing]
Me: I feel like I'm going crazy. Or like some mouse has come and just stolen the files.
Boss: That would be one bored mouse.
Me: I feel like I'm going crazy. Or like some mouse has come and just stolen the files.
Boss: That would be one bored mouse.
A gun hobbler, if you will.
June 24, 2025 at 2:54 PM
A gun hobbler, if you will.
Me: *getting out of the shower*
3yo in another room: *screams*
Me: You okay, babygirl?
3yo: I’m fine!
Me: Then why are you yelling?
3yo, in a thoughtful voice: I like yelling.
Okay. Fair enough.
3yo in another room: *screams*
Me: You okay, babygirl?
3yo: I’m fine!
Me: Then why are you yelling?
3yo, in a thoughtful voice: I like yelling.
Okay. Fair enough.
June 15, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Me: *getting out of the shower*
3yo in another room: *screams*
Me: You okay, babygirl?
3yo: I’m fine!
Me: Then why are you yelling?
3yo, in a thoughtful voice: I like yelling.
Okay. Fair enough.
3yo in another room: *screams*
Me: You okay, babygirl?
3yo: I’m fine!
Me: Then why are you yelling?
3yo, in a thoughtful voice: I like yelling.
Okay. Fair enough.
I feel like I am the only person who actually *likes* Baltimore.
June 11, 2025 at 3:09 PM
I feel like I am the only person who actually *likes* Baltimore.