American Loser
@americanlosers.bsky.social
a bald eagle on a pile of cocaine.
middle management.
middle management.
The truth no one is talking about is Elon hired a bunch of children because no adults wanna hang out with him.
February 6, 2025 at 2:22 PM
The truth no one is talking about is Elon hired a bunch of children because no adults wanna hang out with him.
Anyway here’s this again for no reason
"Let’s be real, who among us hasn’t been right on edge of tipsy and decided “fuck it, if I just roll down the windows and blast some Judas Priest, stick to the back roads, and only oversee a few covert amphibious operations, I’ll be just fine.”"
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
Tips for How to Drink and Run the DoD Responsibly
Drink water between nuclear strikes.
open.substack.com
January 26, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Anyway here’s this again for no reason
Reposted by American Loser
In today’s Flash Fiction the News, a dad measures his son’s erections and convinces himself he’ll never die
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
Flash Fiction the News: Death Defying Erection Dad
On mortality and the penis.
open.substack.com
January 25, 2025 at 9:07 PM
In today’s Flash Fiction the News, a dad measures his son’s erections and convinces himself he’ll never die
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
Reposted by American Loser
Seems like a good day to talk about how much money it would take to literally crush your skull, for some reason.
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
How Much Money Does it Take to Kill You?
A short mathematical exercise.
open.substack.com
January 21, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Seems like a good day to talk about how much money it would take to literally crush your skull, for some reason.
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
"Goodwill will be distributed on an individual customer basis as it becomes available. The average wait time is currently 12.5 years."
December 20, 2024 at 6:47 PM
"Goodwill will be distributed on an individual customer basis as it becomes available. The average wait time is currently 12.5 years."
Joe Rogan used to be the left's Joe Rogan
December 16, 2024 at 7:02 PM
Joe Rogan used to be the left's Joe Rogan
I think it looks pretty good , bro.
December 10, 2024 at 11:35 PM
I think it looks pretty good , bro.
Reposted by American Loser
"Let’s be real, who among us hasn’t been right on edge of tipsy and decided “fuck it, if I just roll down the windows and blast some Judas Priest, stick to the back roads, and only oversee a few covert amphibious operations, I’ll be just fine.”"
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
Tips for How to Drink and Run the DoD Responsibly
Drink water between nuclear strikes.
open.substack.com
December 10, 2024 at 4:51 PM
"Let’s be real, who among us hasn’t been right on edge of tipsy and decided “fuck it, if I just roll down the windows and blast some Judas Priest, stick to the back roads, and only oversee a few covert amphibious operations, I’ll be just fine.”"
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
Reposted by American Loser
I think it's actually okay to be in charge of the military drunk as long as you roll down all the windows and blast some Judas Priest.
December 9, 2024 at 6:47 PM
I think it's actually okay to be in charge of the military drunk as long as you roll down all the windows and blast some Judas Priest.
It takes $23,296,000 in hundreds to crush someone's head. There are over 150 CEOs who made that much or more last year.
Feels like there's some kind of lesson or morale here.
medium.com/@andrewsingl...
Feels like there's some kind of lesson or morale here.
medium.com/@andrewsingl...
The Weight of Money
How Much Money Does it Take to Crush a Human Being?
medium.com
December 9, 2024 at 6:40 PM
It takes $23,296,000 in hundreds to crush someone's head. There are over 150 CEOs who made that much or more last year.
Feels like there's some kind of lesson or morale here.
medium.com/@andrewsingl...
Feels like there's some kind of lesson or morale here.
medium.com/@andrewsingl...
Reposted by American Loser
" Who felt the weight of his strength? What sounds of suffering did he call “noise?” Who received and did not receive his love? Stop asking questions. Lester is your totem. He is your myth to make real. You are him and he is you."
monkeybullets.substack.com/p/the-battle...
monkeybullets.substack.com/p/the-battle...
The Battle of Maddox Bridge
Reflections on a war we never should have fought.
monkeybullets.substack.com
December 5, 2024 at 4:42 PM
" Who felt the weight of his strength? What sounds of suffering did he call “noise?” Who received and did not receive his love? Stop asking questions. Lester is your totem. He is your myth to make real. You are him and he is you."
monkeybullets.substack.com/p/the-battle...
monkeybullets.substack.com/p/the-battle...
Reposted by American Loser
Isn't the con just so fucking obvious?
1.) Republicans run up the debt $8.4 tril (tax cuts for billionaires, baby)
2.) Let (yes, LET) democrats take over so it seems like they own the debt.
3.) Get back into power.
4.) Clutch pearls, fan face.
5.) Cut our most vital social programs.
1.) Republicans run up the debt $8.4 tril (tax cuts for billionaires, baby)
2.) Let (yes, LET) democrats take over so it seems like they own the debt.
3.) Get back into power.
4.) Clutch pearls, fan face.
5.) Cut our most vital social programs.
December 3, 2024 at 4:14 PM
Isn't the con just so fucking obvious?
1.) Republicans run up the debt $8.4 tril (tax cuts for billionaires, baby)
2.) Let (yes, LET) democrats take over so it seems like they own the debt.
3.) Get back into power.
4.) Clutch pearls, fan face.
5.) Cut our most vital social programs.
1.) Republicans run up the debt $8.4 tril (tax cuts for billionaires, baby)
2.) Let (yes, LET) democrats take over so it seems like they own the debt.
3.) Get back into power.
4.) Clutch pearls, fan face.
5.) Cut our most vital social programs.
Reposted by American Loser
“Whatchu think?” He broke the long silence.
“I think we create chaos just so we can find the meaning in it.”
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
“I think we create chaos just so we can find the meaning in it.”
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
The Last Town in the Wild West.
An end of the world love story.
open.substack.com
December 2, 2024 at 9:29 PM
“Whatchu think?” He broke the long silence.
“I think we create chaos just so we can find the meaning in it.”
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
“I think we create chaos just so we can find the meaning in it.”
open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
"we all still knew then and know now that there’s no difference between the first flying bullet and the last one, or any in between. When one kills you, the number is just trivia."
medium.com/american-los...
medium.com/american-los...
The Battle of Maddox Bridge
A short story about a war 30 years in the making
medium.com
November 27, 2024 at 4:55 PM
"we all still knew then and know now that there’s no difference between the first flying bullet and the last one, or any in between. When one kills you, the number is just trivia."
medium.com/american-los...
medium.com/american-los...
Create Exuberant. Eat Word Salad.
Why worse marketing means worse everything.
medium.com
November 27, 2024 at 12:08 AM
Stop Saying “It’s Over.”
The best and only defense against tyranny is hope.
medium.com
November 26, 2024 at 9:32 PM