“But this would never work…” I hear this from the clients I work with all the time. It is so counter intuitive, and quite honestly it’s hard. You have to fight your impulses and do things that feel wrong. But it’s effective. Even on a president (because he’s still a pathetic sociopath). /end

6. Suck up when needed. I hear the left screaming that people are “obeying in advance” which is hyperbole. Trump is a malignant narcissist. That isn’t going to change. And flattery works with him. Want to effect policy change? Hold your nose and butter him up. /10

5. Strategically use pressure points. For me, this ended up being protection orders & the police (who were more helpful than CPS). I think for democrats, this is using democratic friendly courts to challenge his worst impulses. Exert pressure from places other than those he is directly targeting./9

4. Play offense. When you strategically pick your battles, you have to ignore the noise. Sociopaths create so much outrage that you can never stop being mad. It keeps you on defense ALWAYS. When you learn to ignore the choreography of chaos, you choose the issues you are going to make his problem./8

3. Reverse psychology is the biggest tool in the toolbox. Stay calm on issues that matter to you because he will focus less on things that don’t cause mass outrage. And then make a big deal out of things that don’t (“how dare you sell Trump coins in office? Why are you doing this?”) /7

2. Fight over something else. Sociopaths love outrage. And it’s not always enough to ignore them. So go on offense. Bring the fight to them. Find a nonimportant issue & start making a huge thing out of it. The sociopath will start to play tug of war on that issue while leaving the other alone. /6

1. Become unpredictable- sociopaths study their victims. They probably know you better than you know yourself. So you have to pretend to shift your values. For me, this meant missing a custody exchange. It was uncharacteristic. It was the start of our path to freedom. /5

My kids disclosed some horrific things in 2020. I turned to CPS. They accused me of coaching my kids because my idiotic sociopath of an ex husband was already a few steps ahead of me. I could have gotten mad. But I already knew that didn’t work. This did: /4

He admitted on the stand to telling the kids he wanted to take them in an airplane and do a nosedive. He blamed me for his missed visits. He didn’t get more time. But I lost my case.
/3

It is the absolute worst thing you can do if you are fighting a sociopath. But there are ways to fight. I successfully fought a sociopath and won.

I went back to court to modify my sociopathic ex husband’s visitation. I brought boxes of evidence and documentation. He brought his charm and blame./2

I agree. If they have all three branches and no Dems to scapegoat, I wonder if that will help Congress re-exert its power. I also think that the more we let Trump indulge his craziest whims, the more likely it is that Congress steps in (I think we may see that w cabinet nominations).

That’s not to say that I became despondent. I just had to change my strategy. Being right wasn’t enough. Justice wasn’t going to save us.

I liken Trump to my battle in family court against a sociopath. I think you hit the nail in the meditation on the ways that we order our lives around the expectation of justice. My own awakening happened when I was let down by justice, when I saw that the promise of America was but a dream.

I went to a talk on Presidential powers during his first term focused on how the other branches checked executive, and I keep coming back to it in my mind as I think about the 2nd. At some point, the other branches are going to want to claw back their power that they have ceded.