Mom … can we have a sleepover?

#HeatedRivalry #Hollanov

Heated Rivalry, Season 2’s (hopefully) new teammate

Sometimes it’s nice being sick on the longest night of the year. It’s like it didn’t even happen

If I could time-travel I would not go back in time to see dinosaurs or kill Hitler, I would go back in time to watch Heated Rivalry episode 5 at this bar

Today was the first day someone honked at me. But come on dude, there is not much I can do I’m driving a Zamboni through a public park. Cut me some slack

Something g that makes me feel old and out of touch is the iphone charger constantly changing

The desperate wondering has been replaced with the heaviness of knowing?

There is no product that can change my genetic make up

It’s my personal opinion that commercials and advertisements that say, “no you don’t have straight hair, you have waive hair you’re just using the wrong products” are just trying to get people like me with limp lifeless hair that is rigid like a bread stick an brittle like November Leaf, to buy shit

I needed a platform that wasn’t so meta to share my funny thoughts:
Snake walks into a bar;
Bartender: how’d you do that.