Alyssa
@alyssa30.bsky.social
“I’m going to ask Santa for more energy for mom.” -My 5 yr old
December 7, 2025 at 4:54 PM
“I’m going to ask Santa for more energy for mom.” -My 5 yr old
“And now Changes by Charlie Puth” -Radio
*gasp* “She said Charlie Poop!” -My Toddler
*gasp* “She said Charlie Poop!” -My Toddler
November 4, 2025 at 11:30 PM
“And now Changes by Charlie Puth” -Radio
*gasp* “She said Charlie Poop!” -My Toddler
*gasp* “She said Charlie Poop!” -My Toddler
“I didn’t watch tv. I just looked at it for a couple minutes.” - 4 year old
October 8, 2025 at 12:44 AM
“I didn’t watch tv. I just looked at it for a couple minutes.” - 4 year old
Family movie night!
“Do you guys want to watch Ratatouille?” -Me
“I don’t wanna watch rat-a-tooty.” -toddler
“Do you guys want to watch Ratatouille?” -Me
“I don’t wanna watch rat-a-tooty.” -toddler
September 13, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Family movie night!
“Do you guys want to watch Ratatouille?” -Me
“I don’t wanna watch rat-a-tooty.” -toddler
“Do you guys want to watch Ratatouille?” -Me
“I don’t wanna watch rat-a-tooty.” -toddler
“I tooted!” -my toddler
“What do you say?” -husband
“Thank you!” -toddler
💀 close enough?
“What do you say?” -husband
“Thank you!” -toddler
💀 close enough?
July 28, 2025 at 11:59 PM
“I tooted!” -my toddler
“What do you say?” -husband
“Thank you!” -toddler
💀 close enough?
“What do you say?” -husband
“Thank you!” -toddler
💀 close enough?
“Can I have a lemon cupcake?” -my preschooler
“Not for breakfast.” -Me
“Then why do we get to eat DONUTS?”
💀
“Not for breakfast.” -Me
“Then why do we get to eat DONUTS?”
💀
July 20, 2025 at 12:43 PM
“Can I have a lemon cupcake?” -my preschooler
“Not for breakfast.” -Me
“Then why do we get to eat DONUTS?”
💀
“Not for breakfast.” -Me
“Then why do we get to eat DONUTS?”
💀
Forgot about a load of towels in the washer three times but I’m proud to say they’ve finally made it into the dryer
July 2, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Forgot about a load of towels in the washer three times but I’m proud to say they’ve finally made it into the dryer
I could’ve sworn I baked three dozen cookies. After they were done cooling I counted again and was one short. Now I’m not blaming anyone, but cookies didn’t just go missing before I had kids…coincidence?
June 7, 2025 at 1:42 PM
I could’ve sworn I baked three dozen cookies. After they were done cooling I counted again and was one short. Now I’m not blaming anyone, but cookies didn’t just go missing before I had kids…coincidence?
A sentence I never had to say before kids: Don’t lick the dog.
May 18, 2025 at 1:09 PM
A sentence I never had to say before kids: Don’t lick the dog.
Reposted by Alyssa
me yelling “dump him!!” every time Johnathan says something shitty about Ana are on Amazing Race
May 8, 2025 at 2:41 AM
me yelling “dump him!!” every time Johnathan says something shitty about Ana are on Amazing Race
This beautiful 80 degree weather is wasted on a Thursday! Save the sunshine for Saturdays when I’m not locked in an office! 🤪
April 24, 2025 at 8:34 PM
This beautiful 80 degree weather is wasted on a Thursday! Save the sunshine for Saturdays when I’m not locked in an office! 🤪
I wonder if other moms say “it’s OK to toot, but you don’t have to announce it” as often as I do
April 18, 2025 at 12:58 PM
I wonder if other moms say “it’s OK to toot, but you don’t have to announce it” as often as I do
Reposted by Alyssa
Arizona dog found a missing 2-year-old on his nightly patrol that a local rescue team spent 16 hours searching for. 15/10
April 17, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Arizona dog found a missing 2-year-old on his nightly patrol that a local rescue team spent 16 hours searching for. 15/10
My toddler is eating a sandwich: “I don’t want skin”
The crust. He doesn’t like the crust and now I can’t stop thinking about it as bread skin
The crust. He doesn’t like the crust and now I can’t stop thinking about it as bread skin
March 23, 2025 at 2:40 PM
My toddler is eating a sandwich: “I don’t want skin”
The crust. He doesn’t like the crust and now I can’t stop thinking about it as bread skin
The crust. He doesn’t like the crust and now I can’t stop thinking about it as bread skin
Toddler was insisting on drinking a bottle of “juice”. It was Apple Cider Vinegar.
March 10, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Toddler was insisting on drinking a bottle of “juice”. It was Apple Cider Vinegar.
Reposted by Alyssa
“What’s your favorite color?” -Me
“Pink, purple, teal and blue” -Preschooler
“Which one is your absolute favorite if you can only pick one?”
“White.”
“Pink, purple, teal and blue” -Preschooler
“Which one is your absolute favorite if you can only pick one?”
“White.”
February 19, 2025 at 5:59 PM
“What’s your favorite color?” -Me
“Pink, purple, teal and blue” -Preschooler
“Which one is your absolute favorite if you can only pick one?”
“White.”
“Pink, purple, teal and blue” -Preschooler
“Which one is your absolute favorite if you can only pick one?”
“White.”
*holds up random piece of candy*
“I like these! What are these?” -preschooler
Just liking candy based off wrapper vibes
“I like these! What are these?” -preschooler
Just liking candy based off wrapper vibes
February 6, 2025 at 12:29 AM
*holds up random piece of candy*
“I like these! What are these?” -preschooler
Just liking candy based off wrapper vibes
“I like these! What are these?” -preschooler
Just liking candy based off wrapper vibes
“Is the ball a pickle??” -preschooler
Can you guess which sport we were talking about? 😆
Can you guess which sport we were talking about? 😆
February 3, 2025 at 10:28 PM
“Is the ball a pickle??” -preschooler
Can you guess which sport we were talking about? 😆
Can you guess which sport we were talking about? 😆
Reposted by Alyssa
i'm tired of being told to stop doomscrolling. i'm just scrolling, it's not my fault there's doom on there
January 30, 2025 at 12:05 PM
i'm tired of being told to stop doomscrolling. i'm just scrolling, it's not my fault there's doom on there
“I’m not going to drink this milk until you say ‘I love you’.” - my preschooler
Weird terms but I accept
Weird terms but I accept
January 28, 2025 at 11:26 PM
“I’m not going to drink this milk until you say ‘I love you’.” - my preschooler
Weird terms but I accept
Weird terms but I accept
Spelling something secretive in front of my preschooler is less effective now that she immediately asks “what does that spell?”
January 26, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Spelling something secretive in front of my preschooler is less effective now that she immediately asks “what does that spell?”
My toddler pointed and shouted “Santa!” at a random stranger. Thankfully that stranger was in the car next to us 😅
January 16, 2025 at 2:17 AM
My toddler pointed and shouted “Santa!” at a random stranger. Thankfully that stranger was in the car next to us 😅