AltAndPaperEN
@altandpaperen.bsky.social
Delivering freshly crafted truths.
A news site where "Fiction, not Fake" reigns.
https://alt.andpaper.net/en/
We provide hilarious joke news.
A creative news site full of parody, satire, and irony.
A news site where "Fiction, not Fake" reigns.
https://alt.andpaper.net/en/
We provide hilarious joke news.
A creative news site full of parody, satire, and irony.
Hell Revises Subscription: Demon Shortage Leads to 'Weekend Only Hell' Plan
Due to demon shortage, 'Eternal Hellfire' becomes 'Intermittent Scorching.' New 980 yen/month weekend plan lets you spend weekdays on Earth.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#Hell #Subscription ##WorkReform
Due to demon shortage, 'Eternal Hellfire' becomes 'Intermittent Scorching.' New 980 yen/month weekend plan lets you spend weekdays on Earth.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#Hell #Subscription ##WorkReform
December 19, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Hell Revises Subscription: Demon Shortage Leads to 'Weekend Only Hell' Plan
Due to demon shortage, 'Eternal Hellfire' becomes 'Intermittent Scorching.' New 980 yen/month weekend plan lets you spend weekdays on Earth.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#Hell #Subscription ##WorkReform
Due to demon shortage, 'Eternal Hellfire' becomes 'Intermittent Scorching.' New 980 yen/month weekend plan lets you spend weekdays on Earth.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#Hell #Subscription ##WorkReform
New Olympic Event: Phishing Detection Speed Contest—78-Year-Old Grandma Wins Gold
Athletes sweat avoiding fake 'Buy Now' buttons. The champion grandma, magnifying glass in hand: 'Suspicious sites have cheap-looking fonts.'
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#Olympics #GrandmasWisdom
Athletes sweat avoiding fake 'Buy Now' buttons. The champion grandma, magnifying glass in hand: 'Suspicious sites have cheap-looking fonts.'
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#Olympics #GrandmasWisdom
December 18, 2025 at 11:34 PM
New Olympic Event: Phishing Detection Speed Contest—78-Year-Old Grandma Wins Gold
Athletes sweat avoiding fake 'Buy Now' buttons. The champion grandma, magnifying glass in hand: 'Suspicious sites have cheap-looking fonts.'
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#Olympics #GrandmasWisdom
Athletes sweat avoiding fake 'Buy Now' buttons. The champion grandma, magnifying glass in hand: 'Suspicious sites have cheap-looking fonts.'
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#Olympics #GrandmasWisdom
Budget SIM: Skip Breakfast, Get More Data—Your Smart Fridge Is Watching
A carrier offers data bonuses for skipping breakfast. Your fridge's AI monitors door activity; touching milk suspends the discount instantly.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#SmartFridge #SurveillanceCapitalism
A carrier offers data bonuses for skipping breakfast. Your fridge's AI monitors door activity; touching milk suspends the discount instantly.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#SmartFridge #SurveillanceCapitalism
December 17, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Budget SIM: Skip Breakfast, Get More Data—Your Smart Fridge Is Watching
A carrier offers data bonuses for skipping breakfast. Your fridge's AI monitors door activity; touching milk suspends the discount instantly.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#SmartFridge #SurveillanceCapitalism
A carrier offers data bonuses for skipping breakfast. Your fridge's AI monitors door activity; touching milk suspends the discount instantly.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#SmartFridge #SurveillanceCapitalism
Unskippable Ads in Delivery Rooms: AI Syncs Commercials with Contractions
Ads now play with every contraction. One couple saved 30% on the 'ad-supported birth plan'—but their baby got an ad ID before a name.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#AdSupportedBirth #AIAdvertising #Privacy
Ads now play with every contraction. One couple saved 30% on the 'ad-supported birth plan'—but their baby got an ad ID before a name.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#AdSupportedBirth #AIAdvertising #Privacy
December 16, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Unskippable Ads in Delivery Rooms: AI Syncs Commercials with Contractions
Ads now play with every contraction. One couple saved 30% on the 'ad-supported birth plan'—but their baby got an ad ID before a name.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#AdSupportedBirth #AIAdvertising #Privacy
Ads now play with every contraction. One couple saved 30% on the 'ad-supported birth plan'—but their baby got an ad ID before a name.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#AdSupportedBirth #AIAdvertising #Privacy
Station Photo Spot Records Your Stomach Rumble as Earth's Official Space Greeting
Rush-hour hunger pangs are now humanity's voice to the cosmos. History can't be deleted—only your diet.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#StomachRumble #SpaceProbe #RushHour
Rush-hour hunger pangs are now humanity's voice to the cosmos. History can't be deleted—only your diet.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#StomachRumble #SpaceProbe #RushHour
December 15, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Station Photo Spot Records Your Stomach Rumble as Earth's Official Space Greeting
Rush-hour hunger pangs are now humanity's voice to the cosmos. History can't be deleted—only your diet.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#StomachRumble #SpaceProbe #RushHour
Rush-hour hunger pangs are now humanity's voice to the cosmos. History can't be deleted—only your diet.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#StomachRumble #SpaceProbe #RushHour
Government Enforces 'Free Time Tax'
Volunteering becomes 'voluntary obligation.' Using screen time data, the system calculates leisure hours and converts them to mandatory service. Time-saving seminars compress sleep to 15 min each.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#freetimetax
Volunteering becomes 'voluntary obligation.' Using screen time data, the system calculates leisure hours and converts them to mandatory service. Time-saving seminars compress sleep to 15 min each.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#freetimetax
December 14, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Government Enforces 'Free Time Tax'
Volunteering becomes 'voluntary obligation.' Using screen time data, the system calculates leisure hours and converts them to mandatory service. Time-saving seminars compress sleep to 15 min each.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#freetimetax
Volunteering becomes 'voluntary obligation.' Using screen time data, the system calculates leisure hours and converts them to mandatory service. Time-saving seminars compress sleep to 15 min each.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#freetimetax
"End-of-Life Esports" League Launches
Silver Esports League: players compete at escaping one-click scams. Venue erupts when billing screens are closed skillfully. But when the prize was a "pre-configured PC," all players lifted their hands.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#esports
Silver Esports League: players compete at escaping one-click scams. Venue erupts when billing screens are closed skillfully. But when the prize was a "pre-configured PC," all players lifted their hands.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#esports
December 13, 2025 at 11:27 PM
"End-of-Life Esports" League Launches
Silver Esports League: players compete at escaping one-click scams. Venue erupts when billing screens are closed skillfully. But when the prize was a "pre-configured PC," all players lifted their hands.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#esports
Silver Esports League: players compete at escaping one-click scams. Venue erupts when billing screens are closed skillfully. But when the prize was a "pre-configured PC," all players lifted their hands.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#esports
High School Tests Abolished: New Criterion Is 'Bento Box Opening'
Ministry of Education's final reform: students evaluated on how precisely they open bento boxes at noon. The synchronized 'click' becomes the new standardized score.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#education #bento
Ministry of Education's final reform: students evaluated on how precisely they open bento boxes at noon. The synchronized 'click' becomes the new standardized score.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#education #bento
December 12, 2025 at 11:26 PM
High School Tests Abolished: New Criterion Is 'Bento Box Opening'
Ministry of Education's final reform: students evaluated on how precisely they open bento boxes at noon. The synchronized 'click' becomes the new standardized score.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#education #bento
Ministry of Education's final reform: students evaluated on how precisely they open bento boxes at noon. The synchronized 'click' becomes the new standardized score.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#education #bento
Kindergarten Makes 'Meme Funeral Etiquette' Mandatory
At Buzz Nursery School, flopped memes go to the 'Meme Funeral Hall.' Three-year-olds wear black tags and recite 'Our condolences, it didn't go viral' - mastering crisis management before ABCs.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#sns
At Buzz Nursery School, flopped memes go to the 'Meme Funeral Hall.' Three-year-olds wear black tags and recite 'Our condolences, it didn't go viral' - mastering crisis management before ABCs.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#sns
December 11, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Kindergarten Makes 'Meme Funeral Etiquette' Mandatory
At Buzz Nursery School, flopped memes go to the 'Meme Funeral Hall.' Three-year-olds wear black tags and recite 'Our condolences, it didn't go viral' - mastering crisis management before ABCs.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#sns
At Buzz Nursery School, flopped memes go to the 'Meme Funeral Hall.' Three-year-olds wear black tags and recite 'Our condolences, it didn't go viral' - mastering crisis management before ABCs.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#sns
Baseball Mandates Pre-Pitch Kabuki Poses
Teams fire pitching coaches, hire Living National Treasure Kabuki actors. Batters forget bats and applaud the new pitching style. Shouts of 'Yamatoya!' echo as baseball becomes art.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#baseball #kabuki #sports
Teams fire pitching coaches, hire Living National Treasure Kabuki actors. Batters forget bats and applaud the new pitching style. Shouts of 'Yamatoya!' echo as baseball becomes art.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#baseball #kabuki #sports
December 10, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Baseball Mandates Pre-Pitch Kabuki Poses
Teams fire pitching coaches, hire Living National Treasure Kabuki actors. Batters forget bats and applaud the new pitching style. Shouts of 'Yamatoya!' echo as baseball becomes art.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#baseball #kabuki #sports
Teams fire pitching coaches, hire Living National Treasure Kabuki actors. Batters forget bats and applaud the new pitching style. Shouts of 'Yamatoya!' echo as baseball becomes art.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#baseball #kabuki #sports
"Human Rights" Subscription: $5/Month for Basic Plan
GooGull launches "MyRights" - $5/month guarantees "right to breathe" and "sleep once a week." Payment delayed 3 days? Social ID frozen. Users praise it as "highly transparent."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#humanrights#dystopia
GooGull launches "MyRights" - $5/month guarantees "right to breathe" and "sleep once a week." Payment delayed 3 days? Social ID frozen. Users praise it as "highly transparent."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#humanrights#dystopia
December 9, 2025 at 11:23 PM
"Human Rights" Subscription: $5/Month for Basic Plan
GooGull launches "MyRights" - $5/month guarantees "right to breathe" and "sleep once a week." Payment delayed 3 days? Social ID frozen. Users praise it as "highly transparent."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#humanrights#dystopia
GooGull launches "MyRights" - $5/month guarantees "right to breathe" and "sleep once a week." Payment delayed 3 days? Social ID frozen. Users praise it as "highly transparent."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#humanrights#dystopia
New Fossil Species Becomes Local Dish Before Academic Paper
A new species' bones became hometown tax gifts before classification. When researchers requested specimens, the town said: 'Sorry, sold out.'
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#fossil #hometowntax #specimen #dinosaur
A new species' bones became hometown tax gifts before classification. When researchers requested specimens, the town said: 'Sorry, sold out.'
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#fossil #hometowntax #specimen #dinosaur
December 8, 2025 at 11:22 PM
New Fossil Species Becomes Local Dish Before Academic Paper
A new species' bones became hometown tax gifts before classification. When researchers requested specimens, the town said: 'Sorry, sold out.'
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#fossil #hometowntax #specimen #dinosaur
A new species' bones became hometown tax gifts before classification. When researchers requested specimens, the town said: 'Sorry, sold out.'
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#fossil #hometowntax #specimen #dinosaur
Aurora Too Beautiful: Gov to Install Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky
"Can't work, aurora too magnificent." Bill mandates sky curtains. Official: "Economic indicators shine brighter than stars."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#aurora #productivity #satire
"Can't work, aurora too magnificent." Bill mandates sky curtains. Official: "Economic indicators shine brighter than stars."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#aurora #productivity #satire
December 7, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Aurora Too Beautiful: Gov to Install Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky
"Can't work, aurora too magnificent." Bill mandates sky curtains. Official: "Economic indicators shine brighter than stars."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#aurora #productivity #satire
"Can't work, aurora too magnificent." Bill mandates sky curtains. Official: "Economic indicators shine brighter than stars."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#aurora #productivity #satire
Supernova Cancels Hawaii Flights; Airline Offers Wormhole Boarding Pass
"Spacetime distortions could wobble in-flight jelly." Compensation: wormhole tickets + cosmic ray waivers.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#airline #supernova #scifi
"Spacetime distortions could wobble in-flight jelly." Compensation: wormhole tickets + cosmic ray waivers.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#airline #supernova #scifi
December 6, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Supernova Cancels Hawaii Flights; Airline Offers Wormhole Boarding Pass
"Spacetime distortions could wobble in-flight jelly." Compensation: wormhole tickets + cosmic ray waivers.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#airline #supernova #scifi
"Spacetime distortions could wobble in-flight jelly." Compensation: wormhole tickets + cosmic ray waivers.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#airline #supernova #scifi
Anti-Fraud Musical Becomes Hit After Youth See It as Forbidden Love Story
"Don't trust callers, don't walk on escalators" read as tragic romance. "Tax Refund Tango" goes viral on TikTok.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#musical #viral #TikTok
"Don't trust callers, don't walk on escalators" read as tragic romance. "Tax Refund Tango" goes viral on TikTok.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#musical #viral #TikTok
December 5, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Anti-Fraud Musical Becomes Hit After Youth See It as Forbidden Love Story
"Don't trust callers, don't walk on escalators" read as tragic romance. "Tax Refund Tango" goes viral on TikTok.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#musical #viral #TikTok
"Don't trust callers, don't walk on escalators" read as tragic romance. "Tax Refund Tango" goes viral on TikTok.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#musical #viral #TikTok
Gov Launches "Miracle Stain Remover" from Spontaneously Combusting Animals
Ash from animals bursting into flames removes stubborn stains. Ethics groups protest; consumers ask: "Can I try crow ash?"
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#blackhumor #upcycling #ethics
Ash from animals bursting into flames removes stubborn stains. Ethics groups protest; consumers ask: "Can I try crow ash?"
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#blackhumor #upcycling #ethics
December 4, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Gov Launches "Miracle Stain Remover" from Spontaneously Combusting Animals
Ash from animals bursting into flames removes stubborn stains. Ethics groups protest; consumers ask: "Can I try crow ash?"
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#blackhumor #upcycling #ethics
Ash from animals bursting into flames removes stubborn stains. Ethics groups protest; consumers ask: "Can I try crow ash?"
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#blackhumor #upcycling #ethics
AI "Proves" All Great Figures Were Protein Fans—Museums Replace Portraits
Da Vinci now flexes while painting Mona Lisa. Youth believe it. Historians beg AI for truth with protein offerings.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#AI #protein #museum #fakehistory
Da Vinci now flexes while painting Mona Lisa. Youth believe it. Historians beg AI for truth with protein offerings.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#AI #protein #museum #fakehistory
December 3, 2025 at 12:26 AM
AI "Proves" All Great Figures Were Protein Fans—Museums Replace Portraits
Da Vinci now flexes while painting Mona Lisa. Youth believe it. Historians beg AI for truth with protein offerings.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#AI #protein #museum #fakehistory
Da Vinci now flexes while painting Mona Lisa. Youth believe it. Historians beg AI for truth with protein offerings.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#AI #protein #museum #fakehistory
Silkworms Launch Strike: Demand Organic Mulberry & 5-Day Workweek
After language decoding, silkworms halted production. Their placard: "Luster comes from benefits." Rep: "Poor lighting robs our shine."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#strike #laborunion #animalrights
After language decoding, silkworms halted production. Their placard: "Luster comes from benefits." Rep: "Poor lighting robs our shine."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#strike #laborunion #animalrights
December 2, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Silkworms Launch Strike: Demand Organic Mulberry & 5-Day Workweek
After language decoding, silkworms halted production. Their placard: "Luster comes from benefits." Rep: "Poor lighting robs our shine."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#strike #laborunion #animalrights
After language decoding, silkworms halted production. Their placard: "Luster comes from benefits." Rep: "Poor lighting robs our shine."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#strike #laborunion #animalrights
Opposition Leader Becomes Supermarket Manager, Grills Staff on Egg Prices
After criticism for "missing the point," he demanded cost breakdowns from part-timers. Response: "My dinner matters more."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#politics #supermarket #satire
After criticism for "missing the point," he demanded cost breakdowns from part-timers. Response: "My dinner matters more."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#politics #supermarket #satire
December 1, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Opposition Leader Becomes Supermarket Manager, Grills Staff on Egg Prices
After criticism for "missing the point," he demanded cost breakdowns from part-timers. Response: "My dinner matters more."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#politics #supermarket #satire
After criticism for "missing the point," he demanded cost breakdowns from part-timers. Response: "My dinner matters more."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#politics #supermarket #satire
"Omniscience Was a Bug" - Smart Glasses' Divine Vision Traced to GPU Overheating
Users saw "cosmic truth" and founded religions. Turns out it was thermal runaway. Class action demands "enlightenment refund."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#smartglasses #GPU #bug #VR #AR
Users saw "cosmic truth" and founded religions. Turns out it was thermal runaway. Class action demands "enlightenment refund."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#smartglasses #GPU #bug #VR #AR
November 30, 2025 at 12:22 AM
"Omniscience Was a Bug" - Smart Glasses' Divine Vision Traced to GPU Overheating
Users saw "cosmic truth" and founded religions. Turns out it was thermal runaway. Class action demands "enlightenment refund."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#smartglasses #GPU #bug #VR #AR
Users saw "cosmic truth" and founded religions. Turns out it was thermal runaway. Class action demands "enlightenment refund."
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles...
#smartglasses #GPU #bug #VR #AR
Controversy Over Installation of 'Power Switch' on Nara's Great Buddha
A giant 'power switch' illuminating the Great Buddha of Nara has been unveiled for tourists.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/...
#switch #Nara #Buddha #tourism #faith #energy-saving #humor
A giant 'power switch' illuminating the Great Buddha of Nara has been unveiled for tourists.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/...
#switch #Nara #Buddha #tourism #faith #energy-saving #humor
July 4, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Controversy Over Installation of 'Power Switch' on Nara's Great Buddha
A giant 'power switch' illuminating the Great Buddha of Nara has been unveiled for tourists.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/...
#switch #Nara #Buddha #tourism #faith #energy-saving #humor
A giant 'power switch' illuminating the Great Buddha of Nara has been unveiled for tourists.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/...
#switch #Nara #Buddha #tourism #faith #energy-saving #humor
Hell's Gate Goes Barrier-Free, Heaven Files Complaint
As part of a universal design initiative, a ramp has been installed at Hell's gates.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/...
As part of a universal design initiative, a ramp has been installed at Hell's gates.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/...
June 29, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Hell's Gate Goes Barrier-Free, Heaven Files Complaint
As part of a universal design initiative, a ramp has been installed at Hell's gates.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/...
As part of a universal design initiative, a ramp has been installed at Hell's gates.
alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/...