Vceabal’s Alt
@alt.vceabal.xyz
I was wrong and I’m glad about it. I wasn’t prepared. I could’ve, but it would’ve been harder. Also I’ve just had my 4th week back at therapy and I’m feeling much better these past two weeks. I’ve got this grand feeling of whimsy and joy.
Got a feeling I’m soon going to have a conversation with someone I haven’t talked to in like 20 days because they supposedly don’t have it in them to talk like they used to. I’ve been told I’m granted a conversation once a week but I haven’t started one so ofc it hasn’t happened.
March 4, 2025 at 3:26 AM
I was wrong and I’m glad about it. I wasn’t prepared. I could’ve, but it would’ve been harder. Also I’ve just had my 4th week back at therapy and I’m feeling much better these past two weeks. I’ve got this grand feeling of whimsy and joy.
I’m having a 2 day blip of clarity and it feels good . Not scary elated good but, good.
February 5, 2025 at 5:33 PM
I’m having a 2 day blip of clarity and it feels good . Not scary elated good but, good.
I love having to make myself desperate to find myself in a different state whenever I need to say or do something that I don’t wanna and then needing to enjoy the thought about how stupid and small life is when I feel hopeless.
January 31, 2025 at 3:14 AM
I love having to make myself desperate to find myself in a different state whenever I need to say or do something that I don’t wanna and then needing to enjoy the thought about how stupid and small life is when I feel hopeless.
I find myself staring into my own eyes sometimes, they freak me out a little. Something so pitch black. And my iris. It looks like little open eyes extending outwards from every side of my iris. But also so weirdly cool. the way it looks 3d dimensional makes me think of untouched ocean floor.
January 31, 2025 at 2:48 AM
I find myself staring into my own eyes sometimes, they freak me out a little. Something so pitch black. And my iris. It looks like little open eyes extending outwards from every side of my iris. But also so weirdly cool. the way it looks 3d dimensional makes me think of untouched ocean floor.
Seeing blood , especially drops or in a medical setting, makes me feel so sickly and light. It’s this good awful cold feeling. Like I can just feel the little pinch of a needle penetrating the skin. I don’t fear it though, I just want more than anything for that feeling stop.
January 31, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Seeing blood , especially drops or in a medical setting, makes me feel so sickly and light. It’s this good awful cold feeling. Like I can just feel the little pinch of a needle penetrating the skin. I don’t fear it though, I just want more than anything for that feeling stop.
I messaged my therapist to resume weekly appointments :D
January 31, 2025 at 2:34 AM
I messaged my therapist to resume weekly appointments :D
Im in that unable to be satisfied mood. I dont wanna eat, i dont wanna watch breaking bad, i dont wanna vc, i dont wanna play tetris or solitaire, i dont wanna doomscroll, i dont wanna sleep and i dont wanna listen to music. I want nothing at all, not even the only things that usually bring comfort
January 29, 2025 at 4:15 AM
Im in that unable to be satisfied mood. I dont wanna eat, i dont wanna watch breaking bad, i dont wanna vc, i dont wanna play tetris or solitaire, i dont wanna doomscroll, i dont wanna sleep and i dont wanna listen to music. I want nothing at all, not even the only things that usually bring comfort
I have a psych appointment tomorrow though, I’m excited. I have a lot to share. I don’t consider myself different from the last time we’ve talked ( months ago ), just believing myself enough to declare new information as being potentially true.
January 27, 2025 at 5:10 AM
I have a psych appointment tomorrow though, I’m excited. I have a lot to share. I don’t consider myself different from the last time we’ve talked ( months ago ), just believing myself enough to declare new information as being potentially true.
Got a feeling I’m soon going to have a conversation with someone I haven’t talked to in like 20 days because they supposedly don’t have it in them to talk like they used to. I’ve been told I’m granted a conversation once a week but I haven’t started one so ofc it hasn’t happened.
January 27, 2025 at 5:08 AM
Got a feeling I’m soon going to have a conversation with someone I haven’t talked to in like 20 days because they supposedly don’t have it in them to talk like they used to. I’ve been told I’m granted a conversation once a week but I haven’t started one so ofc it hasn’t happened.
I feel like I’m close to getting myself down a good path.
January 17, 2025 at 5:59 AM
I feel like I’m close to getting myself down a good path.
I pray to the god i dont believe in that this is the worst i ever feel.
January 15, 2025 at 5:50 AM
I pray to the god i dont believe in that this is the worst i ever feel.
Its my birthday, i have one year until im a legal adult, just over a year before im out of high school, and a half a year until ive got to be writing college essays.
Ive gotta get my shit together, i have no goals for new years nor my birthday besides find a way to get better.
Ive gotta get my shit together, i have no goals for new years nor my birthday besides find a way to get better.
January 15, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Its my birthday, i have one year until im a legal adult, just over a year before im out of high school, and a half a year until ive got to be writing college essays.
Ive gotta get my shit together, i have no goals for new years nor my birthday besides find a way to get better.
Ive gotta get my shit together, i have no goals for new years nor my birthday besides find a way to get better.
I feel like the only part of my body that is me is the circles under my eyes
January 12, 2025 at 8:18 AM
I feel like the only part of my body that is me is the circles under my eyes
Break is over. I don’t think I’ll be able to average 10 hours of music a day anymore :(
January 6, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Break is over. I don’t think I’ll be able to average 10 hours of music a day anymore :(
New Year’s resolution is fixing my attention span by leaning into my interests more. Art and coding are the first.
January 3, 2025 at 6:57 PM
New Year’s resolution is fixing my attention span by leaning into my interests more. Art and coding are the first.
*Throws up violently*
January 1, 2025 at 8:28 AM
*Throws up violently*
I’ve gotta have a good 2025.
2024 and 2023 were quite possibly the worst years of my life in most aspects, I can’t do another year of that.
2024 and 2023 were quite possibly the worst years of my life in most aspects, I can’t do another year of that.
January 1, 2025 at 12:10 AM
I’ve gotta have a good 2025.
2024 and 2023 were quite possibly the worst years of my life in most aspects, I can’t do another year of that.
2024 and 2023 were quite possibly the worst years of my life in most aspects, I can’t do another year of that.
I’m becoming increasingly more nervous and everything is becoming a small dilemma
December 26, 2024 at 7:33 AM
I’m becoming increasingly more nervous and everything is becoming a small dilemma
I was absolutely freaking the fuck out for about an hour, thankfully I took a 20 minute nap, ate some dinner and watched the hermit craft tall claims court case video and that seems to have fixed it. That absolutely sucked though.
December 22, 2024 at 1:45 AM
I was absolutely freaking the fuck out for about an hour, thankfully I took a 20 minute nap, ate some dinner and watched the hermit craft tall claims court case video and that seems to have fixed it. That absolutely sucked though.
I feel like the only reason I say I’m a boy is because I think I like MLM relationship dynamics. That’s literally the only reason I could come up with.
December 12, 2024 at 12:53 AM
I feel like the only reason I say I’m a boy is because I think I like MLM relationship dynamics. That’s literally the only reason I could come up with.
Idk what’s up with me today but hearing canon in D almost made me cry on the way to school
December 9, 2024 at 7:56 PM
Idk what’s up with me today but hearing canon in D almost made me cry on the way to school
I’ve only written about half the things I want to, I need to write more about the things I have already written about, I need to edit it for clarity, and I’ve already written seven pages or around 3.5k words.
December 8, 2024 at 9:21 PM
I’ve only written about half the things I want to, I need to write more about the things I have already written about, I need to edit it for clarity, and I’ve already written seven pages or around 3.5k words.
I’m going to have to read through all the messages that lead up to my breakup ( After the event that lead to 3 months of issues and only after that, a break up ) and I feel like I’m going to pass out. My heart is pounding, I feel like I’m drifting and that I’m right back where I was.
December 8, 2024 at 7:16 AM
I’m going to have to read through all the messages that lead up to my breakup ( After the event that lead to 3 months of issues and only after that, a break up ) and I feel like I’m going to pass out. My heart is pounding, I feel like I’m drifting and that I’m right back where I was.
It’s been 1 year and 2 minutes since my best friend of 11 years told me he wanted to cut contact indefinitely after effectively ghosting me 3 months ( as his partner ) with the exception of 2-3 conversations and fully ghosting me a 4th month after breaking up but agreeing to still be tight.
November 29, 2024 at 3:43 AM
It’s been 1 year and 2 minutes since my best friend of 11 years told me he wanted to cut contact indefinitely after effectively ghosting me 3 months ( as his partner ) with the exception of 2-3 conversations and fully ghosting me a 4th month after breaking up but agreeing to still be tight.
I’ve had alot of “trauma” throughout my childhood and all my best coping mechanisms for that & general stress are becoming ineffective as other untreated effects of the trauma are tainting nearly every method I had.
November 27, 2024 at 5:48 AM
I’ve had alot of “trauma” throughout my childhood and all my best coping mechanisms for that & general stress are becoming ineffective as other untreated effects of the trauma are tainting nearly every method I had.