If it weren’t for the memes…

- Lack of Comfort: A child seeks comfort after a distressing event, but the caregiver offers no emotional support or reassurance.

- Overemphasis on Achievement: Love and attention are conditional on academic or extracurricular
success.

- Ignoring Individuality: A caregiver focuses on other siblings' needs or uses comparisons, leaving the child feeling invisible.

🧵 5/

- Lack of Praise: A child achieves something significant, but the caregiver offers no recognition or support

- Avoiding Emotional Discussions: The child wants to talk about their fears or struggles, but the caregiver changes the subject or avoids the conversation.

🧵 4/

This is because the child internalizes the neglect as a personal flaw.

Examples include:

- Dismissing or Minimizing Emotions: A child expresses sadness, but the caregiver responds with "You're fine; stop crying."

🧵 3/

Unlike physical or emotional abuse, which involves harmful actions, CEN is marked by a lack of action. While abuse leaves visible scars, CEN often results in invisible wounds like low self-worth, emotional numbness, and struggles with relationships.

🧵 2/

(2/2) According to Gabor Maté, it's very similar, if not part of our immune system. It acts to protect us, but when repressed, it can turn inward and do a lot of harm internally.

#emotions #healingoutloud #mentalhealth #anxiety #coping

Hierarchical thinking—they inherently believe that the parent can do no wrong. When a majority of content and people push the narrative of “you know your child best”, it can be misconstrued as “no one can tell me what to do with my child even if it’s harmful because they don’t know us as well”

(4/4) Children without emotional safety during trauma face heightened risks of PTSD, emotional dysregulation, and toxic shame.

(3/4) They may suppress feelings, leading to anxiety, depression, or detachment. Without support, they struggle to process the trauma, which can hinder trust, relationships, and self-worth. This lack of security amplifies the long-term psychological and emotional impact of the trauma.

(2/4) It fosters trust, emotional connection, and a sense of security, helping children build self-esteem, resilience, and emotional regulation. Without it, children may struggle with anxiety, low self-worth, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.

(3/3) And even then, just by being a kid, you're often treated differently as well. And anyone who spends a significant amount of time online knows it can be an unforgiving place sometimes.

Life was lonely.

#healingoutloud #trauma #coping #mentalhealth #isolation #bicultural #asianamerican

(2/3) Isolated. Alone. It really affects your ability to make long-lasting relationships. Where did I find solace? I buried myself in the anonymity of video games and instant messengers. Some of my best friends were people l've never seen or met, sometimes even 40 and 50 years older than me.

#cptsd

It’s taken some number of years, several different therapists, a few different treatment modalities, and a lot of mindfulness practice to reveal that that alternate voice is there. It does take effort to find it in the hard moments.

I hope can you find your kind, interval voice!

Something that my therapist and I keep having to remind me of is that there is healing in connection. I’m just happy that someone can benefit from me putting thoughts to digital paper!